On the YouTubes: Still More Fun From the Reston Town Hall

OMG, the Reston Town Hall is just the gift that keeps on giving! Here are two more "fun" videos from last Tuesday's event:

First up: Another fun performance from the band of traveling vaudevillians we've already showcased. We especially like the "authentic" period dialogue. Nothing racist there!


Second, watch in horror as dissent is brutally crushed. When a school security officer shows such brutal disregard for our "rights," you know that the FEMA camps are just months away.

License to Annoy: Get Your Reston! Plates

The next time you're stuck in traffic on the Toll Road and calling your broker to refloat your mortgage to pay for the rapidly increasing tolls, look on the bright side. You can identify yourself as a resident of our favorite planned real estate development, courtesy of this fancy Reston license plate. Bonus points if you drive a Prius with more than one Obama bumper sticker.

Lots of crazy organizations have requested specialty license plates, so why not Reston? This is the plate proposed by the Reston Citizens Association, which actually held a contest to design it several years ago, well before this filthy "web log" was created. Designed by Doug Fuller, the winning design represents "the trees and water all residents of Reston enjoy in its woods and lakes." Sweet! We like trees and water! And cars! And specialty plates! And we especially like the exclamation point after our town's name! Reston! Yay!

We know we're ridiculously late to this party -- the contest ended in early 2007 -- but we've actually never seen one of these babies out on the road. Apparently, the RCA needs 350 people to plunk down the extra $10 to request the plate before they become a reality. What are you waiting for? Do it now, before the DRB requires one for every vehicle parked in an earth-toned carport!

This and That: A Random Hopscotch Through Reston News

Apparently some other stuff has happened of late besides that, whazzitcalled, "town hall" that got Reston on the front page of the CNN and the Fox News with distinctly un-Restony words like "chaos." We wouldn't know, as we just managed to walk back to our car, conveniently parked nearly a mile away from SLHS. Moving on!

• Loudoun County was going to have a giant planned community not unlike Reston, but of course it's gone completely bankrupt and its large tracts of land were auctioned off. There can be only one! Okay, two, if you count our Satanic doppelganger in Maryland.
  
  
• The U.S. Geological Survey's Landsat 5 satellite went out of control a few weeks back, but apparently has been stabilized, though its power is at a critically low level, forcing USGS to suspend imaging operations. Which is just as well, because you know how annoying it is to watch home videos with the little low battery light flashing in the top right corner of the screen.
  
  
• The Northern Virginia Hebrew Congregation in Reston has been leasing space to the All Dulles Area Muslim Society of Sterling. Here's the rabbi's explanation:
  

  "The prophet Isaiah said our houses would be houses of prayer for all people," said Rabbi Robert Nosanchuk. "Now, I don't know if Isaiah could have imagined us hosting Ramadan in the synagogue, but the basic idea is there."

  A nice antidote to the -- at times -- thinly veiled hate we saw the other night.
  
  
• That public hearing on Reston bus service we wrote about a while back happened, and the good news is that no service cuts are planned. The bad news? RIBS is horribly inefficient.

  Christy Wegener, a transportation planner for Fairfax County, said there is no plan to alter RIBS but planners wanted the community's input on the best way to make changes that could improve the system. Wegener said some routes are late 70 percent of the time. "That's unacceptable," she said. She said Reston and Herndon have changed a lot in the past decade and RIBS has not kept up.

  
  
• Even doggies can get involved in charity! The American Cancer Society held a "bark for life" at Lake Fairfax last weekend. Clicky clicky for cute pictures and whatnot.
  
  
• Speaking of the Town Hall -- we just can't let it go! -- apparently while folks were screaming at each other inside, honest-to-goodness fisticuffs were happening outside. Let this be the final word, though:

  In the words of high school student Katie Smith, 17, who attended the event, "It was better than Springer."

  Well put.
  

On the YouTubes: Off-Off-Off-Broadway Political Theater

Haven't had enough fun from Tuesday's town hall meeting in Reston? Then please to be enjoying this wacky skit given by, we don't know, a trio of traveling Shakespearean minstrels who got lost on their way to the Maryland Renaissance Festival, in front of South Lakes High School. Oh, wait -- that's actually professional nutjob Randall Terry. Reviews of his touring show were mixed, but we think he's got a bright future in vaudeville ahead of him.

Here's a Charming Souvenir of the Reston Town Hall

A number of people left last night's polite and information-packed "town hall" meeting in Reston to find these stuffed under their car windshields. We've cropped out the URL at the bottom to avoid giving these folks any more attention than they deserve.

Reston Town Hall: A Crappy Cell Phone Photo Gallery of Right-Thinking Americans

So along with more than 2,500 of our BFFs, we went to the Reston "town hall" meeting on healthcare at South Lakes High School last night, after having to park all the way down Soapstone, near the still napalmed restored Glade Reach. How was it? A nice rabbi got booed halfway through the opening prayer, and professional wackjob Randall Terry got ejected, pro-wrestling style, as people jeered. Around that point, we pretty much lost any hope for the future, but fortunately our "cellular phone" managed to bear witness to the entire freak show shining example of democracy in action:

Here are some hippies, or something, who hijacked an actual ambulance to make the case for universal health care. If the country's medical system is in such crisis, doesn't it need that ambulance?

Hello there, anti-Obama protesters. Your signs aren't nearly offensive enough, and seem to be apparently free of racial overtones. In fact, they're almost funny. What's up with that?

Oh, okay. Obama = Hitler. Much better.

Here were some signs held by supporters of Obama's plan, until the Death Panels took them away.

Why there's Congressman Jim Moran, apparently facing the harsh light of truth from an empowered media. Or maybe he's being asked some question about his birth certificate.

GO SEAHAWKS!

Okay, so here's where we started getting a little scared.

While Shouty McHate and his awesome pro-assault rifle T-shirt and banner might have gotten the best of us, our favorite correspondent, the Peasant from Less Sought After South Reston, managed to keep enough of his wits about him to pen an account of the actual town hall. Read it in the comments.

Now Cough! Tonight's 'Town Hall' on Health Care to Attract Wackos of all Stripes

Grab your wacky doctored Kenyan birth certificate and lovingly photoshopped photo of the President, because tonight's the night we've been waiting for -- the night Reston looks a lot like Alabama or Mississippi by embarrassing itself in front of its elected leaders, or at least former DNC Chair Howard Dean and career incumbent Jim Moran, at a "town hall" on health care. And they're expecting a donnybrook!

Moran spokesman Austin Durrer said the event has been highlighted on conservative blogs, a fact that has them gearing up for vocal opponents in the audience.

"We're anticipating an organized effort to bring people out," Durer said.

Among them: Randall Terry of anti-abortion group Operation Rescue, who is planning a special "skit" attacking the health plan, which he beleives will "kill unborn babies and old ladies." Wait, what?

A character wearing an Obama mask opened the skit by handing Terry three baby dolls in rapid succession. Terry stabbed each one, then threw them over his shoulder.

Terry, the physician, then examined a woman with a wig of long gray hair. After looking at her eyes and listening to her heart, Terry stabbed her.

"That's your health-care bill. Kill Granny," Terry said. "Go Obama. One dead person at a time."

Terry, director of Operation Rescue Insurrect Nex, is performing his skit in 10 cities on a trip whose final stop will be in Reston, Va., tomorrow.

"In Reston, we intend to disrupt a meeting being run by Congressman James Moran and [former Vermont Gov.] Howard Dean," he said.

We love legitimate theater! But in the interest of being (heh) Fair and Balanced, we'll point out the MoveOn.org folks have been carpet-bombing the area with phone calls and e-mails urging their supporters to attend, too. So we're expecting a reasoned, well-articulated debate on the merits of a multi-payer health care system. Then again, we're also expecting a pink sparkly pony named Sparkles to arrive at our house in time to whisk us to the town hall, so we're probably not the best judge of such things.

But there is good news. The conceal-carry nuts enthusiasts we've worried about won't be able to do their Patriotic Duty, for one simple reason: the last time we checked, South Lakes was a school:

Firearms advocates have created a stir at some town halls by openly carrying handguns and even a semiautomatic rifle. But Moran's town hall will be at a high school auditorium and weapons are banned from school grounds.

More proof that dissent will be crushed? Only folks from Moran's home district will be allowed into the 2,700-seat auditorium.

Attendance is being restricted to residents of Moran's Northern Virginia congressional district, which encompasses the City of Alexandria, Arlington County, Falls Church and parts of Fairfax County including Reston and Tysons Corner. Attendees will be asked to sign in and give their address and email address. Those not from the district will be turned away from the auditorium.

But will their names be sent to the death panels?

Indoor Rec, Toll Road Hikes, and a New HQ: RA Board Goes for Hat Trick

So, the Reston Association Board decided to hold a "special" meeting during the doldrums of August, when nothing ever happens. Right? Well, on Friday evening, a time when everyone's really paying attention to the news, the RA released the "action" from the meeting. Long story short: Get ready to pay higher tolls on your way home from work before picking up your pool passes at some generic Class A office space near the Toll Road and then heading off to some unknown location for an indoor rec center:

* Parks and Recreation: A plan to give the Parks and Planning Advisory Committee direction to review all the studies and reports on recreation and set up a timeline on indoor tennis, indoor aquatics and recreation enhancements to Brown’s Chapel Park. This will be presented to the board in February 2010.

* Dulles Toll Road: Approved a resolution in support of increased tolls.

* RA headquarters: Following an executive session, the Board approved a measure to give CEO Milton W. Matthews the go-ahead to send letters of intent to prospective landlords.

In other words, say hello to those child labor cubbies real soon.

Here's an account that provides more detail on the indoor rec part of the meeting, during which the idea of a Very Special Committee to focus on indoor rec was shelved in favor of, you know, using the one they've already got:

Board member Richard Chew presented a draft resolution to create a new special committee to plan for recreation. The group would analyze data RA has previously collected, supplement the information with two public meetings and an online survey and take other steps to create a master plan for recreation in Reston.

Chew's resolution also provided the new committee up to $50,000 to spend on additional surveys and studies. Many members of the board felt that there is no need for additional studies. Reston resident Frank Filemeyer said he thinks RA should understand what the community is looking for after the summer's series of district meetings.

"We should move forward aggressively with indoor recreation," Filemeyer said. He said looking at the original resolution it seems that it will add unnecessary time and cost to the process. "We already know pretty much what the members want," he said. "Let's just move forward with it."

During discussions the majority of the board said they agree with Filemeyer that creating another committee and completing more surveys would be unnecessary but wanted to be able to include more members of the community in the discussions. Chew said the intent of the resolution is not to recreate the previous studies, but to supplement them by speaking directly with the users of recreational facilities.

RA President Robin Smyers said she does not believe additional data and studies are needed. She said RA has years of previous studies and surveys as well as information from the recent district meetings. She said she also is not in favor of prolonging the process or adding to its cost.

A new motion was made to use the current Parks and Planning Advisory Committee. According to Monroe the current committee has a number of inactive members as well as a number of vacancies.

The committee has been directed to rededicate its efforts, reorganize and re-establish the committee's membership and fill vacancies and undertake the task of developing a timeline for recreation to present to the board in February 2010. The top priorities of the committee will include an evaluation of recreation plans for Brown's Chapel Park, as well as indoor tennis and swimming.

Use common sense rather than spend up to $50,000 on new studies? What's gotten into the RA Board? If this keeps up, they might start making sense.

OMG! Become the RA's Facebook BFF!

So after its experiments with the "web logs" and "the Twitters" and the "You-Tubes," the Reston Association has boldly gone where no homeowners association has gone before -- to Facebook. You can totally "become a fan" of our favorite earth-toned community. They have nice pictures and whatnot, and occasionally make "interesting" requests:

"Tasteful" and "appropriate"? Just what happened at this little monster truck rally, anyway?

While Restonian has no fans, you can totally "friend" this humble "web log" as well. Becoming our awesome Facebook BFFs will publish our exciting updates to your news feed (the place where you see your friends' status updates and the breathtaking results of their "What Kind of Pizza Topping Would You Be?" quizzes). We also have a rad Facebook group, where you can talk amongst yourself.

Or you could go outside and get some fresh air. For a change. Totally your call.

No Bratz Left Behind: Reston's Dogwood Elementary Now on Double Secret Probation

The run of bad luck at Dogwood Elementary, which burned to the ground several years ago, continues. Despite gains, the South Reston school did not meet the required benchmarks in the high-stakes testing required by No Child Left Behind, and is now on double secret probation:

Dogwood Elementary School in Reston has now reached the highest level of sanctions of any Fairfax County school that is under the auspices of the federal Title I program. Schools that don’t receive Title I funding are still measured against the objectives, but are not sanctioned if they fail to meet the benchmarks.

The school system must now develop an alternative governance plan for Dogwood, which could involve reopening the school as a charter school, completely overhauling the staff, or turning over school operations to a private educational company. If Dogwood does not meet the benchmarks on next year’s tests, the school system could have to implement the plan.

Dogwood students in almost every subgroup actually exceeded the minimum pass rates, except for black students’ English tests. About 71 percent of black students passed the English SOL, showing no improvement over last year, while pass rates in other subgroups leaped by as much as a dozen percentage points.

On the other hand, McNair Elementary in Herndon, which has had four principals in eight years, just got off "the list." No word, though, on what has apparently become the single best indicator of student success in this part of the county -- the comparative use of Bratz dolls by their respective student bodies.

This Won't Hurt Much: Honest-to-Goodness Town Hall on Healthcare Reform Coming to Reston

Why did we just get a piece of mail with a picture of that guy who ran for president until he screamed once, a long time ago, and then disappeared for a long time, until someone realized he was a doctor and let him out of his cage so he could go on talk shows and discuss, whazzitcalled, health care reform?

The good news is that if you've been watching the news over the last few months and wished you had time to trek out to Arkansas or Pennsylvania or Texas or wherever the most recent "town hall" was held to see unruly mobs of (legally) gun-toting crazies shouting incomprehensible questions about birth certificates at clueless octogenarian lawmakers, you're in luck!

U.S. Rep. James P. Moran Jr. (D-Va.) will host a town hall meeting on health care Tuesday [Aug. 25] in Reston. He will be joined by Howard Dean, former governor of Vermont, presidential candidate and chairman of the Democratic National Committee, to discuss efforts in Congress to reform the health care system.

The meeting will take place from 7-9 p.m. Tuesday in the South Lakes High School auditorium, 11400 South Lakes Drive, Reston. The event is free, but seating is limited. Doors will open at 6 p.m.

What better place to have this "town hall" than Reston? Not only have we hosted a similar group of patriots who bravely stood in a rainy field, therefore ending taxation at all levels forever, but one of our more starch-intensive watering holes is a favorite of the conceal-carry crowd. What could possibly go wrong?

On the YouTubes: The Best 4 Minutes and 59 Seconds You'll Spend Online Today

Why waste your workday watching videos of hilarious animals when you could instead waste your workday watching videos of the latest news from our favorite planned community? We have no idea how long the Reston Association has been posting these news updates to the "You Tubes," but they're gold. Narrated with the dulcet tones of "Reston resident" Andy Sigle and set to (very) lite jazz music, you're guaranteed not to see red as the video describes in soothing monotones such non-controversial projects as the RA headquarters and indoor recreation center.

And if that wasn't enough, at the end there's a home tip, where a RA covenants specialist goes to some poor sap's home to explain "party walls and what they mean to you." Think MTV's Cribs, only with the looming threat of a DRB citation. The short version: If you live in one of those fancy "town homes" with a shared wall and there's a problem, you better be on speaking terms with your neighbor or things will get ugly.

An earlier "video" of RA's August news only got 78 views, so clicky clicky.

'Does Reston Town Center Inspire You?' Then Do We Have a Contest For You!

Fresh off the heels of an uneventful store opening, the Reston Town Center is preparing to celebrate the 20th anniversary of its phoenix-like ascension from a muddy series of parking lots into a 7/8 scale faux urban "downtown," much like Disney's Main Street U.S.A. but with more restrictive photography policies, with a fun contest! So break out the macrame kit and the glitter glue and read on:

Does Reston Town Center inspire you? If so, you may have a shot at a hefty gift certificate.

The development is running a contest to get a logo that celebrates its 20th anniversary. Entries must be received by Sept. 1 and the prize is a $500 gift certificate to the Center.

Your muse: something that fits the already-defined (for better or worse) theme: “Reston Town Center. Defining. Inspiring. 20 years.”

The full set of rules, worthy of the DRB, are available here. But don't bother, as our favorite correspondent, the Peasant from Less Sought After South Reston, fired up that, whadayacall it, "Photo Shoppe" program and came up with an entry we're sure's going to be the clincher:

The only thing that would make this more true to the spirit of Reston Town Center is if the Peasant's goatherder friends were wearing those fancy white Apple iPod earbuds all the cool kids love these days. In fact, we know where they could pick some up!

Does anyone else out there have their craft eyes open? If so, send us your "entry" for the contest. The "winner" as chosen by the proprietor of this "web log" won't get a gift certificate, but the admiration and undying gratitude of tens of readers. And doesn't that beat a night out at Uno's?

Buckets of Blood, Big Hair, and the Dark Side of The Moon: Reston Still Has More Creativity Than You Can Shake an Earth-Toned Stick At

Take one look at the rad '80s art planned for the Wiehle Metro station and the nekkid legitimate theatre, and you know that Reston is a cultural mecca. But do you know what contributions to the arts and letters your fellow Restonians have been making of late? If you said, "a horror movie, a play about New Jersey, and the truth about secret messages in classic rock albums," you're absolutely right!

First, Reston couple Kathryn O’Sullivan and Paul Awad spent $15,000 to make "The Fugue," a horror movie that had its sorta-big-screen debut in Alexandria in late July.

Awad, a film professor at the Art Institute of Washington, began writing the script for "The Fugue" in early 2008, and he and his wife, an acting professor at the Manassas campus of Northern Virginia Community College and the movie’s producer, finished the project last spring. The feature-length film about a graphic designer living in Chinatown who is haunted by the ghost of a childhood friend debuted with a free screening at the Old Town Theater in Alexandria on Thursday, July 30.

THE MOVIE is available on the IndieFlix Web site, and the couple hopes to soon have it for sale through iTunes, NetFlix, Amazon and Amazon on Demand.

Until then, you can just check out the movie's Facebook page. So what unique parts of Reston were showcased in the movie? A recently deforested streambed, perhaps? Well, no -- nothing quite THAT scary:

A restaurant scene was shot in the private dining area of Paolo’s Ristorante in Reston Town Center, and Awad and O’Sullivan also turned their bathroom in the Market Street at Town Center condominiums into a set. Because that particular scene called for a lot of screaming, O’Sullivan said, "We just put a note on the door saying we were filming so nobody would call the police."

We bet the neighbors loved that. So long as the fake blood was one of three DRB-approved tones, though, there's nothing they could have done about it.

Meanwhile, Reston attorney Lou Ann K. Behan looked elsewhere for inspiration for her new musical -- her native Jersey shore.

Lou Ann K. Behan may be a successful lawyer living in Reston, Va. these days, but her Jersey Shore roots are as salty and strong as dune grass.

As a child growing up in the Cliffwood Beach section of Old Bridge a block away from the Raritan Bay, she spent her teenage years surfing in Long Branch, going on dates to the Asbury Park boardwalk and hitting Seaside Heights for prom weekend.

One of her favorite beaches is Belmar, which is why she is thrilled her musical "Over the Boardwalk" is having its New Jersey premiere at the Belmar Elementary School's theater.

No, we don't know what exits any of those locales are near, so let's move on.

Finally, you may not have known George Taylor Morris by name. But you've probably heard of the theory propagated by the Reston resident and veteran DJ, who died Aug 1.

As the midday disc jockey at WZLX-FM in Boston in 1997, Mr. Morris got caught up in an Internet music phenomenon that purported to find a strange and mystical synchronicity between "The Wizard of Oz," the 1939 film, and Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon," the 1973 rock album. Someone brought him a printout of a page from the Pink Floyd Web site listing more than 80 coincidences between the album and the movie when they are played simultaneously. "Brain Damage," for example, plays as the Scarecrow sings "If I Only Had a Brain"; "Eclipse" ends with a heartbeat as Dorothy tries to hear a heartbeat in the Tin Man, and so on.

Mr. Morris went home and played the two. "The first four or five minutes were kind of interesting, but then, just before Dorothy goes into the house and the tornado comes, it becomes an amazing series of cosmic coincidences," he told the Los Angeles Times in 2000.

And from there, countless late-night movie sessions in freshmen dorms were born. And we simply won't comment on the rumors that if you play Abbey Road backwards while reading this blog, you'll hear the words "Paul is dead" every time you get to an entry on the rec center.

Breaking: Reston Founder Gets Him One of Those Fancy "Web Logs" We Keep Hearing About

OMG, this is the day we’ve been waiting for ever since we got our first 300 baud modem. Reston founder Bob Simon now has his own "web log," though the RA in its usual Web 2.0 style -- let's just call it "Web 1.5" -- called it a "blob."

Seriously, though, in his first post, Simon makes a few rookie "web logger" mistakes -- like using polysyllabic words and making a logical, coherent argument supported by facts and reasonable commentary. Give him time, though, and we're sure he'll get the hang of it.

Consume, Consume! Video Footage of Retail Establishment Opening at Reston Town Center, Semiotic Brand Self-Extension Fulfilled

This isn't quite as cool as earlier videos about Reston Town Center, but here is some "exciting" footage of consumers lining up to enter the grand opening of a certain retail establishment at Reston Town Center on Saturday morning, then being applauded by the store's employees for their propensity to self-identify with a consumer product -- the full extent of the semiotic confluence of "brand" as lifestyle playing out before our very eyes. Please to be noting the ever-vigilant security guard, ready to leap into action at a moment's notice if some over-crazed consumer attempted to jump the line to be the first to buy one of those, whadayacall it, "i-Phones."

It's all very exciting for the Apple Store, but we don't recall similar levels of mass hysteria when, say, the Eyewear Gallery opened.

The RA Board Meeting So Exciting, It Couldn't Wait Until September

So much for that exciting meeting in September that head Reston Association "web-logger" Robin Smyers talked about a week or so back. There's so much excitement these days that things just couldn't wait, so the RA Board is holding a "special" meeting this evening. What's so exciting? Among other things, the board will meet behind closed doors to "receive an updated analysis by Cresa Partners of the proposed economic offers from the properties under consideration for relocating the Association’s Headquarters Facility." Watch your kids on the tot lots, as it sounds like those child labor cubbies are getting filled after all!

But wait! There's more! Also on the agenda:

• Discuss the establishment of a Special Committee on RA Recreation Master Planning
• Consider support of a letter from the Association’s Transportation Advisory Committee regarding MWAA Proposal to Increase Tolls for Dulles Rail
• Discuss Reston Association’s next steps with regard to Reston Master Plan amendment process; and
• Receive information on easement requests for the Colt's Neck Road/Atlantic Realty property as well as a Bus stop improvement project.

Sounds like a pretty full plate, at a time when many folks are on vacation. Based on the agenda, it also sounds like some sort of action will be taken on the headquarters issue, so hopefully we'll learn what that is before, say, Labor Day.

We're Not Making This Up: Reston Town Center to be 'Athletes Village' for Faux 2015 Olympics

When you think of the lofty ideals of the Olympic Games, you think of athletes training and competing in grueling contests of strength and character, then strolling to the Apple store for a new Shuffle or Uno's for a little old-fashioned carb loading. Wait, what?

Turns out the Reston Town Center will be the official "athletes village" for the 2015 Games -- not the Olympic Games, mind you, given that they 1) fall on even-numbered years and 2) are hosted by places with decent mass transit, but the 30th Annual World Police and Fire Games, which will bring 10,000 athletes from around the world to the D.C. area -- and to Reston.

Fairfax beat out Toronto to get the Games, which could bring an estimated $40 million in revenue into the region.

From the opening ceremonies at Nationals Park to a triathlon at Lake Anna, 10,000 athletes from around the world will compete in 65 sports from June 25 to July 5. Thousands of spectators are also expected.

The athletes' village, where the competitors will stay and where the medals will be awarded, will be at Reston Town Center.

"Sixty-two of the 65 sports -- on average -- are 11 minutes driving time from the host hotel," says Fairfax Police Lt. Bruce Blechel.

Fairfax County Public Schools will be using its entire bus fleet to help move the athletes around. Fifty of the events will be in Fairfax County and the closing ceremony will be at the Wolf Trap Performing Arts Center.

Fear not -- the biggest "action" will be at the Town Center, including the breathtaking darts, table tennis and wrist wrestling competitions. And there's more! Our favorite correspondent, the Peasant From Less Sought After South Reston, offers the following suggestions:

Swim in the lake, run 26.2 miles up and down the new Metro Silver Line tracks to West Falls Church and back, and then head off to Lawyers Road to bike up and down the newly-constructed cyclist lanes, a.k.a., the VDOT Velodrome. And they could do the SWAT competition in any of the esteemed housing complexes that The Convict From Gulag Four is always talking about!

But just one question: if the athletes' village is Reston Town Center, where are they going to put 10,000 athletes?

There might be a few new spots to cram people into by then. Speaking of which, Eileen from South Reston asks this prescient question:

Any chance this, and other events like it, had something to do with the County-supported push for an indoor sports complex in Reston?

Hmmm. All joking aside, this could be a pretty cool event. After all, to quote one Reston resident:

I can't escape the image of half naked exhausted firemen sprawled in and around the Mercury Fountain. Hmmmm...now that I think about it...I mean, they *are* America's heroes, after all. They deserve our best welcome.

Reston Citizens Association Backs Simon Plan to Move RA Headquarters to Lake Anne With Old-Timey 'Letter'

On the heels of an uneventful election, the Reston Citizens Association has taken on an only slightly less controversial subject: the location of the awesome future Reston Association headquarters and its attendant filing cabinets and child labor cubbies.

Like us, they back Bob Simon's idea of moving some or all of the new headquarters facility to the Lake Anne Village Center, where it could help draw traffic and support future purveyors of microwaved tapas. Unfortunately, they expressed this goal in a, whazzitcalled, "letter" to the editor of one of the local "news-papers," which means there's a good chance no one actually saw it. So here's what RCA President Marion Stillson said:

Bob Simon has presented to the Reston Citizens Association (RCA) a plan to have the Reston Association’s (RA’s) headquarters, or part thereof, at Lake Anne, the "gem of Reston." RCA supports moving RA’s headquarters to Lake Anne. RA’s headquarters at Isaac Newton Square always lacked the sense of community found at the Reston Village Centers. Locating our homeowners’ association in one of the Village Centers would be an improvement, and locating it in Lake Anne Village Center would be best of all.

RCA realizes that there are multiple interests involved with the selection of RA’s next headquarters. We nevertheless urge all the parties involved to give special weight, along with all their other concerns, to locating RA headquarters in the place where Reston began.

Well put. Guess we'll find out what happens during the RA meeting next month Monday, when the Board of Directors will go into executive session to discuss the "properties under consideration." Okay, then!

Two Years of Mauve: Happy Blogiversary to Us

It's hard to believe looking at our most recent property tax assessment, but it's been two years since we started this filthy "web-log" with a humble poem. Too bad there's been nothing to write about since, like Bratz dolls, or various and sundry tree-fellings, or uncontroversial building projects, or filing cabinets, or the smokin' hot singles scene, or even the random radioactive roadway.

As we hope to continue to do until the RA's new communications advisory committee tracks us down for a rigorous bout of waterboarding and/or spellchecking, here's our annual list of hilarious search terms that brought people to this filthy "web log."

• Is there a mayor in reston
  
• fairfax animal warden is a jerk
  
• how do you like living in south reston?
  
• how to fix a bratz doll's head
  
• macaroni grill peeping tom

Okay... that's just gross. Moving on!

• exploding arrow tips
  
• lemonade in Reston, Virginia
  
• Macaroni Grill robbed
  
• Southgate Reston ghetto
  
• Reston Times indecent
  
• Drive down the nuisance of US here in Venice
  
• Snobby North Reston
  
• Ghosts Hunters Woods
  
• who was sitting in the next room behind the lamp when larry king was at graceland

Something tells us that last person didn't find what he was looking for.

RA Seeks NASCAR Mom Support With 'Totally Trucks'

Okay, so the Reston Association didn't exactly get what it wanted when it tried to reach out to those elitist swimmers and tennis players. So now, like certain political parties, they're reaching out to Middle America, or the closest thing we have here in left-of-center Reston. Consider the following event, clearly targeted at "NASCAR Moms," or whatever voting block is currently in vogue among the birth certificate crowd:

Totally Trucks
Friday, Aug. 14, 2009 –
Session I: 9:30-10:30 a.m.
Session II: 11a.m.-Noon
Reston Association Central Services Facility
12250 Sunset Hills Road
Free
Families and children

Bring the kids to check out all the big trucks that Reston Association uses to keep our community beautiful.

In addition, there may be a police and fire truck on display. The first 250 children in each session will receive a truck coloring book and construction helmet. Rain or shine. No registration required.

Or maybe, just maybe, the RA just realizes that kids love big trucks. Awesome!

Update: The RA sent out one of its fancy "tweets" saying more than 1,000 people attended Totally Trucks. Awesome!

Apple Store Grand Opening at Reston Town Center on Saturday; Black Turtlenecks, Smug Sense of Superiority Optional

Waaay back in December, this filthy "web log" announced that the faux-rugged outdoors lifestyle store in Reston's Fake Downtown would be replaced by a faux-hipster computer lifestyle store. Turns out the grand opening of the Reston Apple Store is set for this Saturday, so break out the black turtlenecks and bring your fancy "i-Phones" to take pictures of the sleek new storefront and the "geniuses" issuing inscrutable commands about "rebooting your desktop" and whatnot. And before the comments section gets filled to the brim with prose the likes of "PCz sux doodz u just wish u had a Mac to send ur love IMz to Bill Gatz," please note that this entire filthy "web log" is created on one of those, what do you call it, Macintosh "lap tops." Actually, that explains a lot, doesn't it?

This Week in Crime: 7-11 Robbed on, well, Rt. 7

For once, it wasn't the Soapstone or Sunset Hills 7-11s that were the target of a late-night armed robbery.

A 26-year-old Great Falls-area woman working at the 7-Eleven store, 10508 Leesburg Pike, was robbed at gunpoint on Tuesday, August 11 around 2:30 a.m. Two men entered the store; one produced a handgun and demanded money. The victim complied, while the second suspect grabbed cigarettes and other items. Both men fled; no one was injured.

Both suspects were described as Hispanic and around 5 feet 6 inches tall. Both men were wearing solid black clothing and bandanas covering their faces and hair.

Lake Anne Plaza Shocker: Children No Longer Allowed in 'Children's Fountain,' Santa Claus, Easter Bunny to Be Shot on Sight

Here is one of the centerpieces of one of Reston's centerpieces: The Children's Fountain at Lake Anne Village Center. Nice, right? But vigilant observer Sean passed along this photo of a new addition to the "Children's" Fountain:

Clearly, someone's been taking lessons from Reston's most selfish cluster, which is right around the corner from the Plaza.

Alan Webb Kisses Reston, Former SLHS Coach Goodbye

Reston's Alan Webb, a champion runner who missed the Olympics last summer despite a training regimen that involved soaking his legs in trash cans full of ice, is leaving our fair community and his former high school coach to continue training.

After two consecutive disappointing seasons, Alan Webb has decided to split with long-time coach Scott Raczko and leave his hometown of Reston, Va., to be coached by Alberto Salazar in Portland, Ore.

Raczko has coached Webb for 10 years, guiding him to the U.S. prep record in the mile (3:53.43) in 2001 and to the U.S. record (3:46.91) in 2007, plus three national 1,500-meter titles.

Since the successes of 2007, Webb has struggled. He overtrained in 2008 and failed to make the Olympic team. Hamstring and Achilles tendon injuries undermined this season. Webb withdrew from the 1,500 final at the U.S. championships, forfeiting an opportunity to qualify for the world championships.

Salazar, reached by phone in Switzerland where he's supervising altitude training for some of his runners prior to the Aug.15-23 world championships in Berlin, said Webb visited Portland a few months ago and liked the facilities.

"Two weeks ago Alan called asking me to become his coach," Salazar said. "To be honest I was completely surprised by it."

Raczko has coached Webb since his sophomore year at South Lakes High School with the exception of the 2001-02 academic year when Webb was a freshman at the University of Michigan.

As we said last summer, Webb faced a tough choice: Work in a climate-controlled, state-of-the-art training compound, quite possibly staffed by incredibly hot Nordic trainers wearing spandex... or jog along Reston Parkway. A tough choice, indeed.

This Week in Crime: The Usual Gang Activity, Car Thefts, Plus Religiously-Motivated Burglaries

An attempted stabbing, a car theft, and a series of weird burglaries targeting folks who keep statues of Ganesh in their yards. No, it's not one of Johnny Carson's old Kreskin punchlines, but the week that was in Reston crime.

First, we have your run-of-the-mill attempted stabbing, which took place in Laurel Glade Court on Aug. 1.

Police arrested a man for attempting to stab another man on Saturday, August 1. The victim, 29, was sitting inside a car in the 12200 block of Laurel Glade Court around 8:04 p.m. when another man approached and confronted him. The suspect pulled out a knife and allegedly tried to cut the victim. The victim exited the car and the suspect chased him around the car, but fled a short time later.

A man "of no fixed address" -- which is the polite way of saying he's homeless -- was charged for stealing a Dodge Neon and using it as a crash pad:

A 1998 Dodge Neon was stolen from the 11100 block of Glade Drive on July 28. About 9 p.m., police were called about a man sitting in a vehicle in the 12100 block of Sunset Hills Road. The vehicle was determined to be the stolen Dodge Neon. A 34-year-old man of no fixed address was charged with grand larceny and possession of marijuana.

And finally, the really weird case. A series of burglaries in Reston and elsewhere in western Fairfax County have been linked by the fact that they all involved homes with clearly visible Middle Eastern religious symbols:

Since January of this year, someone has been targeting homes in Fairfax County based on their ethnic and religious affiliations.

Police say the thief or thieves has been breaking in during the day while the residents are away in the Reston, Sully, McLean and Fair Oaks sections of the county. In each case, the burglar has been going after very specific items.

One of the burglaries took place on June 24 in a Reston neighborhood just off of Towlston Road, not far from Leesburg Pike. Investigators now believe they can link 16 crimes in which the burglar or burglars have been targeting homes in which religious symbols have been prominently displayed.

Fairfax County Police say the homes favored by the burglar or burglars are in neighborhoods heavily populated by people of Middle Eastern or Asian descent. They say they've been looking for homes with religious symbols.

"It's a Hindu symbol, I believe it's called a Ganesh—I hope I am saying it right," said Officer Tawny Wright of the Fairfax County Police Department. "But they hang it, some of them hang it above their garages or in a window, next to their doors, and like I said, and of the 16, a significant number have had this symbol displayed around their house."

On June 29 on Chamberlain Drive, the thief tried to get in through a rear window but left when he realized someone was home. It's the only time anyone has spotted the burglar, but police are reluctant to put out a description.

Here's the complete list of burglaries police have linked:

*        Tuesday, July 28: 12900 block of Wood Crescent Circle
*        Monday, June 29: 10600 block of Chamberlain Drive and 1300
block of Hunter Mill Road
*        Tuesday, June 23 to Wednesday, June 24: 9200 block of Wood Glade Drive
*        Thursday, June 4: 2600 Logan Wood Drive
*        Friday, May 29: 13400 block of Sir Ramsay Way

If you watch the video embedded video below, you'll see that Fairfax County Police "are not suggesting anyone take down their religious symbols." So we'll be keeping up the 90-foot-high neon replica of the Flying Spaghetti Monster on our roof until a higher authority -- the DRB -- tells us to take it down.



Update: Some additional information about the burglaries has surfaced in the comments.

On the Twitters: The RA is Looking for a Few Good Men (or Women) - Punctuation Skills Optional

Something tells us we shouldn't "tweet back" and apply.

RA President/Blogger Urges Restonians To 'Look At Our Community' (And Not Just to Turn In Neighbors With Red Mulch and White Stone in Their Yards)

In her latest post, our fellow "web logger," RA President Robin Smyers, takes stock of two recent uneventful issues that no one really paid much attention to at all.

When we reconvene for the September 24 meeting, we will have many, tough decisions to make that reflect what kind of Reston we want in the coming years. For example, – where will we choose to locate our next headquarters facility and how should we plan for both current and future Restonians as we continue to explore the idea of indoor recreation?

Our staff will be busy during August, compiling your opinions and ideas from our four community meetings. These were great sessions where we really heard from the community.

We'll say!

I also have a request of you. Between now and September, take time to get out and really look at our community of Reston. I ask you to consider our evolution from farmland and visions – many that have yet to be realized – to a community of villages, homes, businesses and recreation. You may not realize this, but getting Reston to where it is today has brought one challenge after another. There has never been what you might call “ smooth sailing.”

We'll say!

Smyers then lists a few pivotal moments in Reston's history, including this one:

In 1965, fewer than half of the 227 townhomes in Lake Anne had been sold because Reston was considered “too isolated, too overpriced and too liberal.” Later, several real estate agents would say that Reston’s idea of community was ahead of its time. Back then, people only wanted location and price. A decade later, they wanted community.

Then, as us filthy "web log" writers are wont to do, Smyers digs into the "web logger's" rhetorical bag of tricks to "bring it home":

Whether the leadership at the time was wrestling with the status of the community, or a drop in home sales, the duly elected leaders worked hard to maintain and advance the vision for the community that voters entrusted to their care.

We have a duty to see Reston as Robert Simon and others have – what it will be -- and not just what it is today. Just as our community was ahead of its time in 1965, we are responsible for keeping Reston ahead and not letting it lag behind.

Earlier, I called upon you to get out and see our community during August. As you tour, I ask you to really take the time to see the Reston that will always be ahead of its time. That’s why it’s always going to be a challenge for us to make decisions that sometimes don’t seem to be the best investments of today. However, I believe that if we trust the vision, we will find the same thing that Bob Simon found upon his 1984 visit – facing the challenges make for a good return on our investment.

We agree. And in that same spirit, we'd encourage the RA to think long-term as well. Why rent some generic class A office space for its new headquarters facility when it could instead get in on the ground floor of the Lake Anne redevelopment and become the anchor for a much-revitalized village center there? It might mean staying in the current, less-than-optimal space a bit longer, but in the long term, it would be worth it.

And instead of licking their wounds about the resistance to giving away open space for an indoor rec center, and downscaling the once-grand plans to a plexiglass dome over a couple of tennis courts, why not hold Fairfax County's feet to the fire and press for the full-featured indoor rec facility the community deserves to be built on county land -- and at county expense?

Leaders often have to make unpopular decisions. Like Bob Simon, the ones who are remembered are the ones that press forward with their big-picture vision even when they run into obstacles. There's a reason Reston doesn't look like Ashburn, and it has a lot to do with the fact that the overall vision for the community didn't change when initial sales were low and people complained about Reston being "different," or "liberal," or whatever.

Not a sermon -- just a thought.

Your Weekend Planner: Free Plants, Plus Drive Somewhere to Talk About The Bus

Those $7 one-way bus fares putting a cramp in your style? Come to a community meeting Saturday to discuss "possible changes to the RIBS bus routes" from 10 a.m.-noon at the North County Governmental Center Community Road in Reston, assuming you can still afford the gas to drive across town to get there.

Also, if you're one of those people who actually get up in the morning, there's a "plant save" from 9-11 today at the Pony Barn Pavilion at the corner of Steeplechase Drive and Triple Crown Road. Come get them before "Reach 4" of the Glade stream deforestation restoration does!

Found on the YouTubes: 'Fairfax Rap' Lacks Urban Cred of Reston Video Offerings

My word, what is it with these affluent suburban twentysomethings with their "i-Phones" and Letterman-toned senses of irony? Following in the footsteps of the "Arlington Rap," this young chap has attempted to set the record straight with this video arguing that Fairfax County has just as much "street cred," by which he apparently means upscale chain dining opportunities.

Of course, neither of these faux-hipster videos can hold a candle to the awesomest video ever made about Reston, which proves beyond a doubt that when it comes to gangsta cred, we've got the Real Thing. And while they lack the same urban patois, this video remains a close second in terms of Reston awesomeness, followed by this epic triptych. We're going to need to hire Kasey Kasem to do a video countdown if this keeps up!

RA Narrows Search For New Headquarters Down to Three Sites, One Really Bitchin' Set of Filing Cabinets

Hey, remember that time there was an uneventful referendum about the Reston Association spending millions of dollars to buy a fancy new headquarters complete with filing cabinets and child labor cubicles, and when it didn't pass, they decided to lease instead, much as a cash-strapped family might do if it really, really wanted the Chrysler LeBaron with the leather interior?

Yeah, that was awesome. Well, it turns out the "special committee" formed by the RA to figure out what to do about the headquarters issue has narrowed the list of potential sites to three options.

A special committee has whittled the list of potential headquarters sites for the Reston Association to three. All are located within Reston.

Since May, the Special Committee of the Board has been working with Reston Association staff and Cresa Partners, the real estate services firm, to identify new properties. Working from Cresa Partners original list of approximately 30 sites in Reston, the special committee toured six sites for lease.

During a special meeting of the Reston Association Board of Directors on July 13, 2009, the Board voted to limit the square footage range for a headquarters to between 25,000 and 30,000 square feet.

Reston Association has some unique needs, not common to the typical tenant,” said Milton W. Matthews, Reston Association chief executive officer. “In order to serve our members, we need access to the building after hours and on weekends, plenty of available parking, and contiguous space on one or two floors,” Matthews said.

But what, you might ask, came of Bob Simon's idea to move the headquarters to Lake Anne, as a way of jump-starting the much-needed redevelopment there? A cynic might think the RA would politely pay lip service to this idea and then move on. In truth, they did much more, going "above and beyond" by devoting one paragraph to the idea in a press release:

Simon has long advocated for a presence for Reston Association in Lake Anne. In fact, he recently approached the Association with an idea to purchase or lease a former restaurant that’s located in Lake Anne. It represents about 4,000 square feet of space, which Simon believes could be community space. Matthews said the
Association is still evaluating the idea.

That would be the microwave tapas place that's been closed for nearly a year now. Of course, a paltry 4,000 square feet wouldn't hold the A-F filing cabinets for DRB violations, so let's move on.

The "special committee" plans to make a recommendation to the RA Board at its September meeting. In the meantime, the press release says anyone with new proposals or ideas should give Matthews a call. We're thinking about making him an offer he can't refuse on our unused storage room in the basement of Restonian World Headquarters.

Meet Your Neighbors: Pro-Avian Menace Avoids Conviction, $68 Fine

Some heroes are born; others have greatness thrust upon them. Reston resident Jozsef Vamosi -- presumably pictured at left -- will become an instant legend, we predict, for "beating the rap" and "sticking it to the man" by dodging a jaywalking ticket after being charged by Fairfax County Police for blocking traffic to usher a gaggle of geese off the Fairfax County Parkway in June.

Fortunately, as we ease back into our regular workaday production of snark after a much-deserved hiatus, we have the Washington Post to do our dirty work for us. Here's their breathtaking account of what happened that fateful day:

"Make Way for Ducklings"?

Not if the Fairfax County police are around.

The popular children's book, about a family of ducks escorted across a busy street by a Boston police officer, apparently is not on the reading list in Fairfax. When Jozsef Vamosi, 60, tried to help a family of Canada geese cross the Fairfax County Parkway, he was given a ticket by a Fairfax officer -- for jaywalking.

The episode unfolded in Reston on June 18, a Thursday, about 9:30 a.m., Vamosi said. Vamosi was driving north on the parkway approaching the Dulles Toll Road when he spotted several smaller geese edging toward the pavement, a full gaggle behind them.

"They were walking like gentlemen," Vamosi said, upright and confident. "Like the Beatles on 'Abbey Road.' "

Vamosi said he pulled his car to the left lane, got out and stood in the right lane. "I showed them my hand," Vamosi said, "and said, 'Move, move, move!' " Vamosi said he grew up in the countryside of Hungary and felt he knew how to approach the animals without spooking them.

The three larger and eight smaller geese waddled to the parkway's wide median, mission halfway accomplished. Vamosi then stepped into the southbound lanes, held up his hands to signal approaching cars, and the cars stopped, he said. Again he urged the feathered pedestrians to make haste. They did, ducked under a guardrail and continued on their way, Vamosi said.

"Everything came out fantastic," Vamosi said. Then an officer sped to the scene.

"He jumped out the car, yelling at me," Vamosi said of the officer, identified in court records as Kevin J. Rusin. Vamosi said that he asked the officer if he was there to help and that Rusin responded by questioning Vamosi's sanity. The officer said Vamosi's priorities were misplaced on a busy highway, Vamosi said. Vamosi added that he had previously helped a Fairfax officer chase some geese off Interstate 395 and was not ticketed.

He said Rusin instructed him to sit in his car and eventually gave him the jaywalking summons. Vamosi said he told the officer that he would fight the ticket. "And if I had the chance, I'd do it again," he said. "That's the way I'm raised."

Wow! He clearly won over the reporter at the Post, who pointed out the following Fun Fact:

In Massachusetts, "Make Way for Ducklings" is the state's official children's book, and statues of the ducklings stand in Boston's Public Garden.

And in gleefully pointing out the denouement to this timeless tale of a man beating the system, the Post used the following headline: "Va. Geese Guardian Given Six Months to Fly Straight." Get it?

Jozsef Vamosi, 60, was not formally convicted or acquitted after a brief trial before Fairfax General District Court Judge Thomas E. Gallahue. The judge did order Vamosi to pay court costs, normally about $68. But when Vamosi went to the clerk's window, he was told he owed nothing. The costs might also be dismissed when Vamosi returns to court in January.

If not, $68 is a small price to pay for the number of column inches the Post usually reserves for presidential resignations and/or moon landings.

Forget the Tour De France: The Real Action is at the Reston Town Center

It's not quite as exciting as the awesome elevator rides, but here's a bit of "action" from the recent bike race at Reston Town Center. It's kind of like going to a Nascar race, only with more upscale retail opportunities and more creative use of slow-motion replays:

And no, there's no truth to the rumor that this wreck actually happened on the newly resurfaced Lawyers Road cyclodrome.

We're Back, and the Only Thing That Supposedly Happened Is Literally Five Months Old

We're back, after a brief scare when the DRB officials manning the checkpoint at Lawyers Road caught us returning to Reston with a series of brightly colored paint swatches in our luggage. So what was the biggest news in Reston in our absence? Something that happened nearly five months ago: our pal, the athletic, desk-vaulting, hoodie-wearing bank robber:

Fairfax County police and the FBI are still searching for a serial bank robber known for wearing a hooded sweatshirt and vaulting teller counters.

Police believe the Hoodie Bandit is responsible for eight robberies since November: six in Reston, one in Chantilly and one in Fairfax. His targets are most often BB&T Banks, and he comes armed with a handgun.

His last known robbery was in March, when he jumped a teller counter at the United Bank at 13060 Fair Lakes Blvd. in Fairfax, police said. At the time, authorities said they were concerned the suspect was acting more aggressively... In previous robberies, he took less time and acted with less aggression toward bank employees, authorities said.

He also apparently got a little more organized. So why is the Examiner writing about this now? Has the Hoodie Bandit put his sweatshirt back on and hit the banks again? Not exactly.

But just as law enforcement officials worried the robberies would get violently out of hand, they appear to have stopped. The Hoodie Bandit hasn't been seen since his last robbery. At that time, media outlets began reporting about the series of robberies after a story in The Examiner.

And the filthy "web logs" were talking about them from day one.

Meanwhile, maybe the police and media should be paying more attention to this guy, who's suspected in two indecent exposure cases along the W&OD trail in Reston, and a third, more troubling incident in Vienna, over the past few weeks.

Three women have been assaulted on the W&OD Trail in the Vienna and Reston areas in recent weeks, and police in Fairfax County and Vienna are looking into whether the same man might be responsible for the incidents.

The first attack occurred July 15, when a 25-year-old woman reported that she was approached by a man on a bicycle about 2 p.m. as she was running near Ayr Hill Avenue in Vienna. Police said the man exposed himself, threw the woman to the ground and positioned himself over her. The woman broke free and ran for help.

The second and third incidents happened over a span of about 15 minutes in the Reston area Thursday. A woman walking on the trail west of Hunter Mill Road said a man approached on a bicycle, exposed himself and pedaled away. About 10 minutes later, two women walking near mile marker 13, west of the Vienna town limits, reported that a man exposed himself and grabbed one woman by the arm. She screamed and the man fled.

The assailant in all three incidents is described as about 40 years old, cleanshaven and tan, with no shirt, black shorts and a cyclist-type hat. The Fairfax victims said the man was about 5-foot-7 and 200 pounds, with "a large belly." Anyone with information about the attacker is asked to call 866-411-8477.

There's also a composite sketch of the bicycle at the first link, which shockingly resembles a bicycle:

If you know someone who rides something like this, he (or she) is obviously the guilty party. PANIC.