With Reston Roundabout Proposal, Our Glorious Transit-Oriented Future Looking Like a Combination of New Jersey and Amsterdam

V. v. exciting news about the future of Wiehle Avenue. No, silly rabbits, they're not going to bulldoze the whole thing and turn it into a maglev loop for Elon's robot taxis, but this week Fairfax County settled on the next best thing: a traffic circle!

That's right. If county planners get their way, the traffic-clogged, pedestrian-defying intersection where Wiehle dead-ends at Sunrise Valley Drive will be replaced with a traffic-clogged, pedestrian-defying roundabout. Sadly, the original proposal included a second traffic circle at the intersection of Wiehle and Sunset Hills, but planners deleted it from the newest version of the proposal, denying us the chance of slingshotting back and forth across the Toll Road at speeds so high they could reverse the flow of time and take us back to a more idyllic era before parallelogram-shaped skyscrapers and woonerf and whatnot, as demonstrated scientifically here.  Cowards!

Planners also proposed a sweeeet protected two-way "cycle track" going down one side of Wiehle, allowing spandex-wearing cyclists moving in different directions to high-five each other as they zip by stalled traffic awaiting the opportunity to approach the roundabout and slingshot their way over to South Lakes.

A final community meeting to present the updated plan will be held on Oct. 28 at Langston Hughes Middle School, so be sure to bring up the time-travel thing; county planners love that. Give us some sweet transit-oriented blockquote, BFFs at Reston Now:

The third public meeting will share information on the revised concept, including updated analysis, planning-level cost estimates and implementation schedule, considerations for the bridge over the Dulles Toll Road, and a 3-D rendering of the corridor. FCDOT will also note the trade-offs with the design, particularly at the roundabout intersection, and offer a second option.

NO SECOND OPTION. SAVE THE ROUNDABOUT. Not to well-actually, but traffic circles tend to handle traffic flows better until they hit a certain volume, at which point... (looks out the window at the current intersection). But we digress! The design proposal also calls for an "opportunity for creative pavement design," as illustrated in this blurry rendering from the proposal:

We haven't been this excited since similar plans called for fanciful concrete bollards and rad 80s art on the Wiehle Metro station pedestrian bridge, and we all know how well those turned out, the end.

There Goes The Neighborhood: In Lake Anne, Milllion-Dollar Townhomes and a Gas Station for Sale

Often mocked as Reston's crumbling, brutalist neighborhood where the 1960s never ended, Lake Anne appears to be getting.... fancy. Or at least regentrified.

Consider the million-dollar townhouses going up next to the new Lake Anne Fellowship House, part of the deal that replaced the original aging high-rise right outside of the Village Center. No shin crackin' concrete playgrounds or jet-age air conditioning here, nosiree! Just your typical 21st century homes, if a little bit "mid" for a seven-figure home, as the kids might have said as recently as two years ago. (Decorum forbids us from mentioning those very Ashburn driveways and "front yards.")

But we digress. With such exciting new homes, you might expect some spillover regentrification. And you'd be right! If you've got an extra $7 million lying around and don't need seven townhomes to build your family compound, you could get on the ground floor of "An exciting opportunity for Mix Use [sic] Development" right off North Shore Drive.

If that address doesn't ring a bell, here's what's there now:

"DO NOT DISTURB THE CURRENT BUSINESS, CALL THE LISTING AGENT TO DISCUSS," the listing reads. Alrighty then!  

Maybe it'll be replaced with some premium gas station that dispenses only the finest imported petroleum and a fleet of rental cybertrucks instead of tawdry moving vans. Nothing but the best for Reston's hottest, most upscale neighborhood!

But wait, what's this?

Only six figures? There goes the neighborhood... again.

Breaking: Bridge Broke (Apparently) (Updated)

Scheduled to open to great spandex-waving fanfare earlier this week, the exciting superspan of a bridge allowing cyclists on the W&OD Trail to zip over Wiehle Avenue at speeds approaching Mach 3 is... still closed, with no explanation. When the Restonian On Your Side I-Team went to investigate earlier today, the lack of activity on the work site was palpable, with no work vehicles or equipment in sight, save for a sole port-a-potty. Whatever's wrong apparently isn't a big priority.

Of course, we've been waiting for this bridge, originally scheduled to open in 2021, since 2008, so a few extra days really adds up to a rounding error. And never mind that the bridge already has a nice layer of rust patina, presumably from sitting in some rainy staging area for months (or longer) before it could be hoisted over Wiehle. But zoom out a bit, and you can see some other, less consequential projects that apparently can be put together in slightly less than 16 years:

Something something metaphor for the minimal attention begrudgingly paid to the impacts of development while greenlighting sweeeeet development projects right and left, the end.

Update: Apparently the bridge isn't broken, a fence is. The bridge will remain closed until the appropriate permits are issued, and the county has reinforced the impenetrable cones blocking access for now with (checks notes) "tape and orange fencing" to keep people from posting incriminating selfies of themselves trespassing and whatnot. That'll keep folks out!

Update to the Update: Finally open, and only 16 days late -- a mere rounding error from the heady days when Flo Rida and T-Pain topped the charts and someone thought a bridge over a heavily trafficked road might be a good idea, the end.

Don't Quit Your Day Jobs, And We Won't Start Sliding Down Poles In Our Spare Time

Good on Fairfax County Fire and Rescue Station 25 for having a little fun with the decades-in-the-making infrastructure rising in the background. We admit our own "humorous" "web logging" has been only slightly more expeditious than the entire saga of getting the W&OD trail bike bridge over Wiehle Avenue approved and built, but geez, guys, can't you keep your fire trucks and ambulances in your own lane?

We kid, we kid. What we're not kidding about is we still have months to go before our overcaffeinated cadre of cyclists can slap on the spandex and whip over the intersection with Wiehle without stopping.... as opposed to slapping on the spandex and whipping through the intersection with Wiehle without stopping, the end. 

Kill Bill 3: The Casinopocalypse: Tysons Casino Opponents Seek to Stop, Not Just Delay, Proposal in General Assembly (Updated)

Not satisfied to squash our schoolgirl dreams of spending an hour or six playing the penny slots before getting on the Metro in Reston, or to delay until next year the possibility of building a fun, floating 96-story casino in an abandoned car lot in Tysons, Fairfax's Emerald City, opponents are now urging county residents to help put a Hattori Hanzo sword to the proposal once and for all. 

Give us some good five point palm exploding heart technique blockquote, BFFs at Coalition for a Planned Reston:

The casino bill will be on the agenda of the full Senate Finance and Appropriations Committee on Tuesday, February 6. The Committee Chair will ask the full committee to vote to hold the bill over to the 2025 legislative session. Senator Boysko will offer an alternative proposal to kill the casino bill entirely.

It will help tremendously if there are many Fairfax County residents seated in the room to show support for her motion. This nonpartisan effort is open to all, whether you vote Independent, Republican, or Democrat. There is no better way to show our opposition than to show up in person on Tuesday. Senator Boysko will ask us all to stand to show our support for her motion.

There's a link to sign up to take a free bus to Richmond for Tuesday's hearing, so if you're into sitting in traffic on I-95, holding elected officials accountable to the will of the people, or just standing up when someone asks you to, have at it, the end.

Update: The bill wasn't killed, but it was coldpilled -- continued until the 2025 General Assembly session.

All Bets Are Off: Farfetched Reston Casino Proposal Rears Its Ugly Head Once More, With Rumors Of Well-Heeled Support (Updated)

We're getting deja vu from another trivial land use case involving Reston, some supposedly underutilized property ripe for redevelopment, and throwing money into a pile and setting it on fire: When the idea of building a fun 97-story floating casino in our plastic fantastic planned community was first floated late in the General Assembly session earlier this year only to be unceremoniously killed, we rolled our eyes, hit "post," and went back to not "web logging" for, you know, six months or so. But, like that other bad idea that simply will not die, the casino is back, baby!

Ante up with some sweeet blockquote, BFFs at Patch:

Comstock Companies wants to build a casino at or near the Wiehle-Reston East Metro Station, several local officials told Patch.

The possibility of a casino being built along Metro's Silver Line in Fairfax County first came to light during the final days before the end of the first half of the 2023 Virginia General Assembly session, when similar bills were introduced by Sen. David Marsden (D-Burke) and Del. Wren Williams (R-Stuart). 

Although Marsden and Williams' bills were both withdrawn, they did not disappear. Marsden told Patch on Thursday that he would likely reintroduce the bill if he's re-elected to the Virginia Senate in November.

What's changed? Apparently, the fact that no one wants to go to work strapping bombs to dolphins for federal contractors in soulless office buildings where people microwave leftover fish in the breakroom and Ted from accounting drops by your cubicle uninvited to ask you if you saw "the big game" while you're desperately trying to finish the TPS report so you can finally leave the office before 8pm for the first time this week hybrid work appears here to stay means that Comstock and others have a reason to explore alternate uses for all those wacky parallelograms they've been building that might otherwise sit vacant. Here's Marsden's nice-office-park-you-have-it-would-be-a-shame-if-a-pandemic-makes-it-marginally-less-valuable pitch to county officials:

"We've started down the road of a severe downturn in the commercial real estate business. People who needed 50,000 square feet of office space now need 5. It's going to devalue the market and there's going to be less taxes because there'll be a lot more in the way of vacancies."

Hey, even Restonian World Headquarters has more than 5 square feet of office space! But we digress. Any proposal would have to go to a referendum, and our local county supervisor, Hunter Mill Supervisor Walter Alcorn, remains opposed to the whole idea, saying:

"They have not talked with me about it. I oppose putting a casino on the Silver Line and Comstock should be aware of my position on that, it has not changed since I first became aware of casino interest in the Dulles corridor late last year. The land around these stations is already valuable for so many other socially beneficial uses, and plopping a casino into these emerging transit oriented development communities during their formative years is a bad idea.”  

Of course, he'll soon be running for re-election, and given that Comstock was willing to ante up (get it?) $255 per vote in a failed attempt to buy the board seat during the last election, Alcorn may wind up with a horse's head in his bed, electorally speaking. And now, the company is holding a fundraiser for out-of-area state lawmakers at Reston Station, for what we're sure are coincidental reasons:

Perhaps to bolster its efforts to build a casino at or near the Wiehle-Reston East Metro Station, Comstock scheduled fundraisers for two Democratic Party candidates who may be leading the Virginia General Assembly during the 2024 Session.

On Sept 19, Dwight Schar, a former owner of the Washington Commanders and founder of NVR, Inc., and his son-in-law Chris Clemente, who happens to be the CEO of Comstock, hosted a fundraiser for Virginia House Minority Leader Don Scott (D-Portsmouth). If the Democrats regain control of the House of Delegates in November, Scott would likely become the speaker of the house.

Schar and Clemente are also planning to host fundraiser on Oct. 16 for state Sen. Dave Marsden (D-Burke) and Virginia Sen. Scott Surovell (D-Alexandria) at 1901 Reston Metro Plaza, which is also at the Wiehle-Reston East Metro Station.

Your friendly neighborhood "web logger" reminds you that local elections matter, and they matter a lot to companies with stakes.

But again, we digress. Even with the highly specific language in the proposed legislation that would authorize a casino in basically only Reston and a handful of other spots in Fairfax County, there is a Silver Lin(ing)! You see, the county's so-called "Emerald City" already has a vacant hotel in the recently departed Tysons Sheraton, which is conveniently surrounded by a Wal-Mart and a (shrinking) sea of car dealership parking lots. Considering that Virginia's existing casinos are in Bristol, Portsmouth, and Danville, that location seems... let's just say a lot more familiar for casino patrons. Also, for those of us who were raised on bad 80s television, that means we could call our neighbor to the east Ty$ons, the end.

Update: There's now a petition opposing the casino, complete with rad stock imagery:

About Freaking Time: Groundbreaking for Fancy W&OD Trail Bridge Over Wiehle, Capping 11-Year Process (We Hope)

 

At long last, the first ceremonial shovels of dirt have been turned for the fancypants Wiehle Avenue overpass, which will allow W&OD cyclists to... continue not to stop as they streak over, not through, the intersection. Given that this project was approved way back in ought-twelve and was supposed to be completed by 2021, it's nice that they managed to break ground slightly after its 10th birthday.  Hopefully it'll be finished before it's old enough to drive!

In the past, we made some snarky comments about other large objects from around the world that managed to be built much more quickly than this relatively pedestrian pedestrian bridge. But we were just dumb web loggers who couldn't possibly understand the complexities of such an involved project in this day and age, and foolishly suggested that it was emblematic of how the county's efforts to improve infrastructure to accommodate growth dramatically lag the actual growth it was more than happy to approve. Silly rabbits! No word on why those large objects in the background somehow didn't take a decade to build, though, the end.

Breaking: With Fancy New Wegmans Open, Reston Beats Manhattan to the Punch

Mark your calendars. Today -- Feb. 1, 2023 -- will forever be known as W-Day in Reston, the day we no longer had to get a day pass to Loudoun County or pay $11 to take the Toll Road to (shudder) Tysons to access the cornucopia of prepared foods offered by the New York grocer. 

But who knew that in the hypercompetitive world of grocering, Reston is a higher priority than another, slightly less planned community -- namely, Manhattan in fancypants New York City. 

Pass the cheese and salami platter and check out this SHOCKING blockquote from Progressive Grocer, which appears to be a magazine for... progressive grocers:

As it prepares to open new stores in both Reston, Va., and New York City, Wegmans Food Markets is ready to fill management roles in those locations and across the rest of its eight-state footprint.

But the Manhattan Wegmans won't open until later this year, so suck on that, highfalutin' New Yorkers! We were a higher priority than your now demonstrably less important city.

It's funny -- back in the early days of this "web log," when the server was powered by candelight and comments were all in Middle English ("forsooks! My portcullis is the wrong shade of Black Plague Russet Brown"), there was lots of handwringing about how Reston was in danger of becoming "another Manhattan." The discernible lack of hot dog carts around our fancy not-subway stations notwithstanding, maybe now New Yorkers should worry about becoming "another Reston."  Imagine a merger of the DRB and the NYPD -- the NYPDRB!

"Got a 10-39 about some improper vent placements on 76th Street. Let's roll!"

Meanwhile, back here in Manhattan's Far South Side Reston, people are loving the new Wegmans.

Reston’s new Wegmans officially opened today! Check out some cool photos from today’s grand opening! Photo #3 includes Johnny, the son of Wegmans executive chef, eating a croissant 🥐!! pic.twitter.com/ZXLELPFc5h

— The Reston Letter (@RestonLetter) February 1, 2023

To be fair, we haven't made it over to the new Wegmans yet, so a complete review will have to wait. We keep waiting for this to pick us up, but something tells us it might be a while, the end.

Caddyshackpocalypse Now: Alcorn Says Reston Isn't Biting on RNGC 'Vision,' So Developers May Return to an Older Tactic

Hunter Mill Supervisor Walter Alcorn announced yesterday that he's heard from the neighborhoods around Reston National Golf Course, which despite being choked by invasive plants and lacking basic amenities such as saladaries and axe-throwing establishments apparently haven't bought into the new vision proposed by RNGC's owners, even with the grassroots study group open bars and whatnot. Ungrateful peasants! Give us a sweet pie chart/map combo and some good governing blockquote, Sup. Alcorn:

The numbers speak for themselves. Therefore, as with Hidden Creek, I do not support changing the Fairfax County Comprehensive Plan’s current designation of this property as a golf course and consider this matter closed.

Alcorn's statement follows a similar rebuff on the other side of the Toll Road two years ago, when developer Wheelock attempted to sell its own neighboring clusters around Hidden Creek Golf Course on the vaporware notion of a "Grand Park" in exchange for a bunch of new development. 

This is also a great time to remind folks why a different developer and others were willing to invest $255 a vote for what would ordinarily be a nearly meaningless seat on a county board of supervisors, because of... reasons.

But all this isn't over, not by a long shot. Give us some sweet by-right blockquote, BFFs at Patch:

In an Aug. 30 Facebook Live interview with Patch, Steven Siegel, a partner with Weller Development, said the owners would pursue their existing zoning rights if they were unable to obtain Alcorn's support for a change to the comprehensive plan.

A portion of the golf course is zoned medium density residential and the golf course itself has by-right ancillary uses, according to Siegel.

"That could be anything from a hotel and conference center to support the golf use to a two-level golf experience range with food and beverage and entertainment options, where we can do a really special golf experience and keep a championship nine-hole course," he said.

The by-right argument is something RNGC's previous would-be developers tried to take all the way to the Virginia Supreme Court before backing off and finding a greater fool new buyer. But sticking to uses closer to the original land designation—in other words, a golf course—seems sort of like a different argument, at least to those of us who have passed the prestigious Grenada and Lower Antilles Bar exam. Could we see a 99-story "golf clubhouse" full of condos justified by a ground-floor storefront where some minimum wage flunkie hands out golf clubs? Would razing 9 holes of the golf course be okay so long as the new streets upon which 5-over-1s will be built have names like "Duffers Lane" and "Chip Shot Court"?  (We've already seen brutally honest street names for new builds across the Toll Road.) Or would a miniature golf course/axe throwing establishment surrounded by midscale chain retail and endless surface parking meet the by-right requirements?

No word on what all this means for South Reston's criminally low "walkability scores" and invasive plant crisis, but we're guessing we've heard about them for the last time, the end.

You Too Can Own a Piece of Reston Town Center: Investors Sought for Hotel

As construction continues near the future Reston Town Center Metro Station, developers are letting folks -- well, not just any folks -- get a piece of the action. 

For the low starting point of just $50,000, you too can own a tiny piece of a new "dual-branded hotel" near the 420' (heh) tower. Give us some good investment blockquote, BFFs at the Washington Business Journal:

A team including Annapolis-based Hogan Cos. is looking to raise $27 million to help fund the development of a dual-branded hotel at Reston Town Center, where construction is slated to kick off this fall.

Hogan is hoping to raise equity for the 267-room hotel, that will fly two Marriott International Inc. (NYSE: MAR) brands —  an extended-stay Residence Inn and Northern Virginia's first boutique AC Hotel, according to marketing materials. The funds raised would be part of the larger capital stack needed to develop the $101 million project, 

Weinblatt's solicitation went to a larger list of email recipients than is typical, including the Washington Business Journal. The solicitation says the project is slated to generate a development yield of 8.7% return, with a hold period of four years. The minimum commitment is $50,000 and would-be investors have until Aug. 19 to pony up the funds. Donohoe expects to close on its loan in time to start construction in October.

We've always dreamed of being part of a "capital stack," whatever that is, and an 8.7 percent return ain't bad, though we're still waiting for our far more lucrative investment in NFTs to pay off.  And after checking under the sofa cushions in Restonian World Headquarters' sunken living room, we're only $49,998.83 shy of the 50K minimum. Anyone want to go in on a trashcan on the 17th floor of the future Residence Inn?

The Mask is Off: Reston National 'Study Group' Unveils Carefully Deliberated Vision for Golf Course That Does Not Involve Golf, Extremely Naive People Reportedly 'Shocked'

For the past two years, the owners of the Reston National Golf Course have "studied" the best possible use of the land they bought as a golf course that is permanently designated as open space. But in a nice way, or at least as nice as an outfit called "War Horse" could possibly be.

A grassroots "neighborhood study group" fretted about things like walk scores, the shame of Less Sought After South Reston having slightly fewer upscale cupcake and salad retail establishments than their counterparts north of the Toll Road, and whether invasive English ivy was hurting the tree canopy. Heck, they even tried to ply us with booze!

But all good things—and investors' patience—must come to an end, and the mask is off. Earlier this week, the study group announced its deliberations are over, and it's come up with a totally not at all premeditated "vision" for the golf course. Give us some good blockquote, unbelievably expensive-looking "community" website that doesn't even open the press release when you click on it:

After two years of engaging with community members, stakeholders, and community organizations, the Reston National Study Group released its vision for the future of the Reston National Golf Course.

Does the vision include golf? No, but it does include a fancy graphical explanation of the plan: a "conservancy," which involves "reclaiming" 100 or more acres (we'll take the under on that one, thanks) and restoring it to a natural state (presumably invasive plants will be part of that natural state), a "linear park" (pathway), and "the village," which includes a "gathering space," shops, restaurants, and — wait for it — housing. Well, knock us over with a feather!

"This is not a plan," the fancypants website states, inasmuch that as such it would be rejected out of hand by the county for violating the current land use designation for the golf course the property owners were aware of when buying the golf course after presumably doing due diligence about the county's comprehensive plan. But there *is* a map to help you visualize what this might look like:

There's a lot of money behind selling this "vision," and these guys spent some ducats to get better elite PR folks than some other not-exactly-loved folks with deep pockets around these here parts. And for good reason: their $23.75 million investment in the golf course could be worth as much as $200 million if it's developed to its fullest extent. With that kind of ROI, you could have a whole bunch of "study groups" and open bars and social media campaigns and still walk away with a tidy profit.

Let's remember that our county supervisor, Walter Alcorn, has steadfastly said that he wouldn't support redeveloping the golf course without the support of its neighbors -- and the pledge buried in the vision that the developers would "invest in neighboring clusters to improve views.. and add value" seems to be a way to try to chip away at resistance get some of that support. 

Will it work? Some of that depends on the neighboring clusters, and some of that depends on our county officials, who can be... let's just say pragmatic when large sums of money are on the line. 

The fancy "study group" website asks for feedback on what you'd like to see at Reston National, so have at it, we guess. They're not offering free drinks any more, so you might as well get your thoughts in before last call.

The American Dream (Way): Gated Communities Apparently A-Ok for Reston, Says County Board

So this filthy "web log" has been a bit lax about detailing the tortuous path to approval for specific Reston development proposals of late, because (waves arms to encompass most of the area along the Toll Road). Also, nothing can surpass the excitement of our Jetsons-like, Wegmans-curious,videodrome future. Bring it on!

But still, the v. v. exciting news that the former Fannie Mae campus across from Plaza America was finally approved by the Fairfax County Board of Supervisors after a lot of contentious meetings got our attention. Give us some good meeting coverage blockquote, BFFs at Reston Now:

The board voted to approve the redevelopment with a roughly 220,000-square-foot reduction in the amount of previously approved office space and the addition of a total of 74 townhouses and eight two-by-two units. 

The approval comes despite county staff recommending that the project be denied because a portion of American Dream Way will be gated off to the pubic — a move intended to secure the former Fannie Mae building at the request of prospective tenants.

In fact, the planning commission called installing a gate on the property "unacceptable" in a 237-page report. It's not exactly shocking that the Board of Supervisors found a way to accept a big-ticket Reston project against the recommendation of its own planning staff, as it's happened more than once.  But folks certainly are a bit touchy about this one!

Hunter Mill District Supervisor Walter Alcorn said that the issue of the gates was not a “basis for denial,” adding that a portion of the roadway is already gated off. 

North Shore Cluster Association Homeowners Association President Michelle Silver questioned “why the planning commission went against the recommendation of its own staff.”

Board Chairman Jeff McKay said the issue of the gates alone, however concerning, was not enough to shut off the project. 

“We’re now at a point that we’re down to one issue,” McKay said, adding that the project has “come a long way” and is “not perfect by any means.” 

Okay, fine. We like townhouses. And two-by-twos. And we can overlook the irony that "American Dream Way" is, as befits its name, blocked off so it's not accessible to all. But in the eyes of the county, what "one issue" would warrant denying a project? Building heights? Density? Shiny blue cladding that makes a mauvescraper look like an extremely tall smurf? Proxies for parks and wetlands 'n stuff? Building on, you know, a golf course or something the county is supposed to protect as open space, because of some invasive English ivy growing on it? Or refusing to provide the required amounts of workforce housing? Let's not forget that one developer attempted to skirt around that inconvenient little rule right around the corner from this development a while back.  

Anyhoo, we should just be happy they're preserving the mandated wetland areas ponds for "public access," meaning the guys in the golf carts who will patrol the gated parts of the property once some alphabet agency moves in (probably) won't taze you for admiring the nature from a respectable distance. Unfortunately, the proposal has changed considerably from its original iteration, so we won't be able to enjoy one particularly inspiring bit of nature that was supposed to be kept outside the gates for us unwashed to enjoy whilst lingering in the shadows of the two-by-twos:

"Green Mews?" Well, ex-mews us, the end.

Could Pickleball Be A Scheme To Bring Reston Back To Its Nudist Colony Roots? Um, Maybe?

It's been a few years since pickleball finally made it to Reston, as our favorite defunct source of DRB-themed word finds once put it.  But now we're wondering if the arrival of everyone's favorite sport was the brainchild of a conspiracy of shadowy developers actors who want to return our favorite earth-toned community to its roots -- as a homicidal nudist colony. 

Check it, as the kids haven't said since before they had kids of their own, who in turn have since had kids of their own:

According to the filthy web log "The Pickler," which sounds somewhat NSFW in its own right, "nude pickleball is beating the pants off its competition." Oof.

Give us some titillating PG-13 blockquote, BFFs at the Pickler:

Clothing-optional resorts are advertising their pickleball facilities, holding tournaments, and putting in more courts to meet the demand... Sullivan is arranging home-and-away pickleball matches with other Florida nudist resorts and getting ready for his community’s July 4th pickleball tournament, which is called the “Clothing Independence Day Tournament.”

“We tell people, just bring your tennis shoes. We provide the paddles and the balls,” Sullivan said.

People who play pickleball in the nude say that it’s much more comfortable than playing while clothed. There’s no sweaty, clinging clothing to deal with, and it’s easier to cool down after playing a few games.

There's no telling what games they played at the Green Forest Nudist Colony, described in print as the "nudist colony that is now Reston," except murder, but if a developer of nudist colonies is involved in this diabolical plan, we've got to say that this is an even better "long game" than, wedunno, pretending to care about invasive plants in order to replace hundreds of acres of open space with a bit of ivy growing around the trees with endless rows of crappy midrise condos. Hypothetically, of course.

However, nekkid pickleball could be a slippery slope. Along with talking about how to "win more dink battles" (heh), here's what "The Pickler" had to say about another popular activity at a Florida nudist resort:

The only recreational pursuit other than pickleball that is holding its own at Cypress Cove is cornhole.

Not touching that one with a 10-foot pole pickleball paddle, the end.

'Advocacy' Group: We Have To Destroy the Golf Course In Order to Save It (From the Scourge of Invasive Plants)

This map of the hordes of invasive species overrunning the Reston National Golf Course that we saw on Facebook this week looks pretty scary. We're not horticulturists or cartographers, but even we know that red = bad. Thank you, Reston National Neighborhood Study Group for providing this helpful Sponsored Content! Wait, what?

A recent proposal to establish a pilot program to remove invasive plant species around Reston National Golf Course is seen by some as a first step to garner support for redeveloping the land. 

Reston National Neighborhood Study Group, which is financed by golf course owners Weller Development Co. and War Horse Cities, began meeting last May with adjacent property owners and homeowner associations to discuss the invasive species problem. 

"This study group was formed and is paid for by the developer-owners of RNGC, whose ultimate goal is to develop all they can of the Reston National Golf Course," [Rescue Reston President Connie Hartke] said. "And the 'environmental experts' studying the tree canopy and invasive species issues also have been hired and are paid by the developers."

That can't be right, according to another piece of Nearly Sponsored Content provided to our BFFs at Reston Patch that says that these property developers just care about the health of Reston's tree canopy!

All of Reston, indeed most of Fairfax County, is facing some threat by non-native invasive plant species. The Reston National Neighborhood, however, has some uncommon characteristics that make it more vulnerable.

"Vulnerable" is one way of putting it, that's for sure. 

The Study Group has been biding its time, meeting with clusters adjoining the golf course for no other reason than its innate, bordering on irrational, hatred of invasive plants. Apparently some English Ivy creeped up and strangled the Study Group's long-time partner on his last day before retiring, and the Study Group vowed to avenge his memory, or something. Can't think of any other reason for this single-minded focus on invasive plans and tree canopy, especially since Hunter Mill Supervisor Walter Alcorn just reiterated that he won't support any changes to the comprehensive plan that would allow redevelopment of RNGC without the support of the neighborhoods that surround it -- the very same neighborhoods that apparently, and totally coincidentally, are about to be encircled and slowly choked off by invasive plants. It would be completely cynical to say that the flat roofs of dozens of mid-rise condominiums would provide a new and improved canopy impervious to the threat of invasive wisteria, but I'm sure someone is thinking it.

Alcorn also said the following:

"The owners are starting a little bit later and they're kind of in the middle of the public outreach... Basically, I want to give the opportunity for the Reston National owners to make their pitch and talk to the community," he said. "But I'm not going to let that go forever."

Anyhoo, if the thought of invasive plans damaging the tree canopy is keeping you up at night, feel free to stop by the group's meeting tonight! We certainly welcome efforts to "methodically eradicate the invasive plant species" and to protect our precious bodily fluids the tree canopy:

   

Sounds about right for a company named "War Horse," the end.

Tall Oaks: Where Irony, Like International Supermarkets, Goes to Die

As the new development that has risen from the dusty ashes of the Tall Oaks Stucco Wasteland actually begins resembling the lovely renderings on the developer website, we happened to notice something on Google Maps the other day. What's the name of the spacious, boulevard-like roadway that winds its way through the Ashtons, Kellans, and Marleys, much like the Champs Élysées if it was surrounded by mid-rise townhomes and "elevator condominiums"? 

COMPUTER, ENHANCE FILE "ON_THE_NOSE.PNG":

"Bandit Loop." No one can say that developers don't have a sense of humor, although they probably should have saved that particular street name for a future development, the end.

A Different Kind of Reston Row, Illustrated

 

Ah, just a beautiful fall day in Reston, with our favorite parallelogram isosceles trapezoid balefully standing watch over a bunch of new home signs and the giant gaping void that will soon be home to a four-star hotel. Been there, done that. But wait, what's that we see in the reflection of the Sleestak mud pit?

Computer, enhance:

That's right. Where level G93 of the future woonerf-free parking garage will someday be is a giant gathering of porta-potties, huddled together for shelter. Definitely more gritty and urbane than videos of sharks, and it brings a whole new meaning to "Reston Row," the end.

Earth-Toned Hit Parade: Another Reston Art Hits the Global Top 100

 ZOMG, someone go light another candle atop Kasey Kasem's unmarked grave in Norway, because for the second year running, An Art from our plastic fantastic earth toned community has hit the TOP 100 BABY. And not just any An Art, but An Art that "fulfilled a voluntary public art proffer" by a developer, which makes it so much more special than, you know, some An Art painted on gross public infrastructure or whatever.

Simon is the name of our special An Art, and just like our beloved founder, it's constructed out of Cor-ten steel, full of holes, and approximately 15 feet tall. Let's hear more about this An Art:

DeWitt Godfrey is known for his large-scale, abstract steel sculptures. His signature stacked and tubular forms are inspired by nature. Reminiscent of plant spores, seashells and honeycombs, his diverse body of work spans three decades and features site-specific sculptures that interact with their setting. Indeed, Simon was conceived in relationship to its built environment. Its vertical orientation is accentuated by the surrounding townhouses whose brick facades interact with the warm coloring of the Cor-ten steel, a surface that weathers and continues to change over time. 

INDEED. The "built environment" around it (the Valley & Park townhouse development) is nicer than some of the stuff going up in Reston these days, though the old change-of-materials-trick of using different colored bricks isn't exactly fooling anyone. Apparently the sculpture "announces the arrival of owners and their guests," so that's good, and more artistic than a doorbell, we guess.

As with last year, we, the unwashed philistine public, can vote for the world's best An Art, which we recommend you do early and often. Although, scrolling through the other 99 entries, we see one piece of serious competition:

Breathtaking. Those are the fanciest fanciful bollards we've ever seen, the end. 

Caddyshackpocalypse 'In Perpetuity': War Horse's Peaceful-Sounding Work Group Suggests We're Back At It Again

In Reston, it always seems to start with invasive plants.

A cluster meeting in South Reston with representatives of Reston National Golf Course's new owners about "vegetated buffers" was the first most of us who don't live in neighborhoods adjacent to RNGC has heard of the Reston National Neighborhood Study Group, a friendly-sounding group focused on friendly-sounding topics like these:

Strangely, "paving over fairways for an endless array of four-over-one condos whose names lack strategic vowels" didn't make this initial cut of discussion topics. 

The new owners of the golf course, War Horse Cities and Weller Development, hired New City Enterprises to coordinate these closed, cluster-only meetings and come up with some friendly-sounding verbiage for the website. If this all seems a little bit like the friendly conversations north of the Toll Road about replacing Reston's other golf course with a "Grand Park," you're probably not mistaken.

The website's FAQ says this about the golf course:

Clearly, some changes for the land need to be considered. But whether it’s golf, simple open space, parks or some new combination of uses, Reston National will continue to be a place that the entire neighborhood can enjoy.

CLEARLY. That was repeated during the meeting with the Hunters Green cluster this week. Give us some good blockquote, cluster president Reed Skaggs:

"The Reston National Neighborhood study group appears to have broader agenda for future golf course use as it was stated that 'The property won't be a golf course in perpetuity' however no additional information was provided."

Have no fear, though. The Reston Association is on it, if by "on it," you mean "made a YouTube video:"

We've said many times it would be hard for any property owner -- even one with a name like, oh, let's just say for the sake of argument "Peace Pony" -- to avoid looking at options that would give them nearly a tenfold return on their investment. And they're at least saying and doing the right things in the short-term, including this pledge on their website:

Any options for the future must be guided by 3 principles. They must: 

1. Follow the seven principles that have defined Reston for half a century; 

2. Be created through an inclusive process with neighbors, government and other stakeholders; 

3. Be embraced by the Reston National Neighborhood and have support in the community.

We can do our best to hold them to that -- and hold our elected officials to their promises to protect the Reston Comprehensive Plan. Hunter Mill Supervisor Robert Alcorn has said many times -- including when the rubber hit the road -- that the golf courses will remain in the plan unless the surrounding property owners approve of a change, but as we've seen, politics have their own price developers are willing to pay round these here parts, and it's considerably higher than paying a guy with a weed whacker to trim back some ivy, the end.

Beige Mirror: As More Dystopic Video Screens Appear Across Reston, We Welcome Our New Cold-Blooded Overlords

A few months back, a giant video screen featuring circling sharks appeared at Reston Station, bathing the various polygons and whatnot in eerie shades of dystopian blue, kinda like something out of a cyberpunk novel, if the plots of cyberpunk novels focused on Metro access and farm-to-table dining. Now we're learning that like the monoliths in 2001, these screens are.... multiplying. Check it, as the kids haven't said since the 1970s:

That's right. futuristic Reston mixed-use development Halley Rise, home to self-driving cars and (not a moment too soon to slake our suburban sense of inferiority) the planned transit-oriented Wegmans, now has its own big honkin' screen featuring yet another cold-blooded predator eyeing the golf courses its prey, warily. And Reston's vision of a dystopian future in which CGI grannies stare at listlessly at video screens goes back to when Tall Oaks still had stucco strip mall buildings. Should we be concerned?

 

We dunno, to be honest. Let's ask our lizard overlords!

Probably nothing to worry about, the end.

More Brands Than a Texas Stockyard: Fancypants Reston Station Hotel to Get Fancier As We Take A No-Woonerf Stroll Down Rebranded Reston Row

It seems like just yesterday we were excited about the prospect of tying on a few too many Farmers Smashes at Reston Station and walking across the street to sleep it off at a fancypants Renaissance Hotel. Well, we just weren't thinking big enough, because it has been announced that the Renaissance brand might as well be a sketchy Motel 6. We're Reston, baby, and we're getting the best of the best!  Give us some blockquote worthy of a $14 minibar soda, BFFs at the Washington Business Journal:

Comstock Holdings Co. has altered plans for the luxury hotel coming to Reston Station as it seeks to forge ahead with the next phase of the 60-plus-acre mixed-use development.

The developer will bring a JW Marriott hotel there, it said Thursday. CRS Hotel LC, a Comstock affiliate, has signed a franchise agreement with Bethesda's Marriott International (NASDAQ: MAR) to swap a 250-room JW Marriott in for the previously proposed Renaissance Reston Station, Comstock said. The $250 million project will also feature 90 luxury residences, 10 more than the previous iteration, and is slated to deliver in 2024, two years later than originally planned. The hotel will be managed by Crescent Hotels and Resorts Management Co. of Fairfax.

Reston Station has evolved in design and scale since it was initially conceived and that the development team, in the context of that evolution, felt the JW Marriott brand was a better fit for the quality of the project, its planned condominium units, and the market moving forward.

Translation: No woonerf = an additional half-star for your friendly neighborhood hotel. It's also the first JW Marriott in Virginia, so you know, suck it, Tysons, with your demonstrably weaker Marriott brand.

Also! This exciting new hotel brand means that Reston Station is changing its exciting mixed-used development brand, since the old brand for this block, Promenade, suggests the presence of woonerf that is no longer there:

Comstock also unveiled a new brand, Reston Row District at Reston Station, as the designation for one of several neighborhoods or areas within the larger mixed-use development. The developer previously revealed other district sections, including Commerce Metro Center, Metro Plaza, and Comstock, so named because it will include space for the developer's own headquarters. 

We can't wait for this exciting high-end brand-atop-a-brand experience. But you better start saving that pocket change! At the JW Marriott downtown, room rates start at just under $300 (though you can get a bargain during this time of COVID). But honestly, it looks like the view there leaves a little to be desired:

Why would you want to look out the window at that, when you could look at this?

Let's hope those rooms come with blackout curtains.

In a RESTONIAN WORLD EXCLUSIVE, we've managed to get some exciting promotional footage of our new hotel: 

 

We could totally see James Brolin at the next DRB meeting, the end.