News and notes from Reston (tm).

Tuesday, June 28, 2022

Could Pickleball Be A Scheme To Bring Reston Back To Its Nudist Colony Roots? Um, Maybe?

It's been a few years since pickleball finally made it to Reston, as our favorite defunct source of DRB-themed word finds once put it.  But now we're wondering if the arrival of everyone's favorite sport was the brainchild of a conspiracy of shadowy developers actors who want to return our favorite earth-toned community to its roots -- as a homicidal nudist colony

Check it, as the kids haven't said since before they had kids of their own, who in turn have since had kids of their own:

According to the filthy web log "The Pickler," which sounds somewhat NSFW in its own right, "nude pickleball is beating the pants off its competition." Oof.

Give us some titillating PG-13 blockquote, BFFs at the Pickler:

Clothing-optional resorts are advertising their pickleball facilities, holding tournaments, and putting in more courts to meet the demand... Sullivan is arranging home-and-away pickleball matches with other Florida nudist resorts and getting ready for his community’s July 4th pickleball tournament, which is called the “Clothing Independence Day Tournament.”

“We tell people, just bring your tennis shoes. We provide the paddles and the balls,” Sullivan said.

People who play pickleball in the nude say that it’s much more comfortable than playing while clothed. There’s no sweaty, clinging clothing to deal with, and it’s easier to cool down after playing a few games.

There's no telling what games they played at the Green Forest Nudist Colony, described in print as the "nudist colony that is now Reston," except murder, but if a developer of nudist colonies is involved in this diabolical plan, we've got to say that this is an even better "long game" than, wedunno, pretending to care about invasive plants in order to replace hundreds of acres of open space with a bit of ivy growing around the trees with endless rows of crappy midrise condos. Hypothetically, of course.

However, nekkid pickleball could be a slippery slope. Along with talking about how to "win more dink battles" (heh), here's what "The Pickler" had to say about another popular activity at a Florida nudist resort:

The only recreational pursuit other than pickleball that is holding its own at Cypress Cove is cornhole.

Not touching that one with a 10-foot pole pickleball paddle, the end.

1 comment:

  1. Hmmmm...but what happens if nude male pickleball players jump over the net at the end of the game to congratulate their opponents and their, uh, equipment gets hung up or snagged in the net? I guess they could sing the famous German song:

    "Hitler had only one big ball
    Goering had two but they were small
    Himmler had something similar
    But poor old Goebbels had no balls at all"

    Maybe it would be called "pulling a Goebbels"?


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