Breaking: Bridge Broke (Apparently) (Updated)

Scheduled to open to great spandex-waving fanfare earlier this week, the exciting superspan of a bridge allowing cyclists on the W&OD Trail to zip over Wiehle Avenue at speeds approaching Mach 3 is... still closed, with no explanation. When the Restonian On Your Side I-Team went to investigate earlier today, the lack of activity on the work site was palpable, with no work vehicles or equipment in sight, save for a sole port-a-potty. Whatever's wrong apparently isn't a big priority.

Of course, we've been waiting for this bridge, originally scheduled to open in 2021, since 2008, so a few extra days really adds up to a rounding error. And never mind that the bridge already has a nice layer of rust patina, presumably from sitting in some rainy staging area for months (or longer) before it could be hoisted over Wiehle. But zoom out a bit, and you can see some other, less consequential projects that apparently can be put together in slightly less than 16 years:

Something something metaphor for the minimal attention begrudgingly paid to the impacts of development while greenlighting sweeeeet development projects right and left, the end.

Update: Apparently the bridge isn't broken, a fence is. The bridge will remain closed until the appropriate permits are issued, and the county has reinforced the impenetrable cones blocking access for now with (checks notes) "tape and orange fencing" to keep people from posting incriminating selfies of themselves trespassing and whatnot. That'll keep folks out!

Update to the Update: Finally open, and only 16 days late -- a mere rounding error from the heady days when Flo Rida and T-Pain topped the charts and someone thought a bridge over a heavily trafficked road might be a good idea, the end.

Let's Go Reston!

Based on this blurry cellular telephone photograph shared by a Confidential Restonian Operative this morning, our fellow Restonians are, as one might expect of residents of a community with covenants governing everything from trim color to decorative stone, big fans of jurisprudence. Either that, or there's a NASCAR race scheduled for the Toll Road this weekend (not that you'd notice the difference, the end). 

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Most Loudoun County Sentence Ever

Maybe getting rid of the "pizza" will help with the smell.

BREAKING: DRB Cites Magnetosphere

Reston, Virginia, after the clouds cleared around 4:00 AM!!! @dougkammerer @TenaciousTopper @SPACEdotcom @spaceweather @NOAA @NWS @accuweather #AuroraBorealis #NorthernLights pic.twitter.com/mZmUvPmLMV

— The Snow Dog (@26Below) May 11, 2024

This shocking photo posted on ex dot com, taken in Reston at 4am after the clouds parted during last night's auroras seen as far south as Florida, shows just what can happen when people don't take design covenants seriously. It may seem extreme to put a lien on the magnetosphere, but who knows what garish colors we'll see otherwise the next time the solar winds go a bit haywire, the end.

Smoke On the (Manmade Lake) Water, A Fire in the Sky

A fire at a warehouse in Sterling provided an opportunity for Restonians to have some lighthearted, catastrophe-related fun on Facebook, speculating as to the source of the smoke. But of course, if it was truly a sign that the RA had selected a new leader, the smoke would have been a pre-approved Pantone shade of "beechwood," or something similar, not that grody smouldering Ashburn particleboard hue, the end.

Don't Quit Your Day Jobs, And We Won't Start Sliding Down Poles In Our Spare Time

Good on Fairfax County Fire and Rescue Station 25 for having a little fun with the decades-in-the-making infrastructure rising in the background. We admit our own "humorous" "web logging" has been only slightly more expeditious than the entire saga of getting the W&OD trail bike bridge over Wiehle Avenue approved and built, but geez, guys, can't you keep your fire trucks and ambulances in your own lane?

We kid, we kid. What we're not kidding about is we still have months to go before our overcaffeinated cadre of cyclists can slap on the spandex and whip over the intersection with Wiehle without stopping.... as opposed to slapping on the spandex and whipping through the intersection with Wiehle without stopping, the end. 

RELAC, Still Do It: Referendum Ensures Frankie, Lake-Cooled AC Doesn't Go To Hollywood, Stays In Reston

 

Lake Anne residents will be able to enjoy the tepid chills of lake-cooled air conditioning at least a bit longer. The Reston Association says that fewer than half of the eligible households -- far below the needed 2/3 supermajority -- voted in a fancy fun referendum to revoke the covenants prohibiting homes in RELAC's service area from installing individual air conditioning systems for their homes, at least not without a medical (cough cough) provision like the ones your Restonian's roommates may have used way back in college (School of Hard Knocks, '64). 

But we digress! Give us some typo-riddled blockquote, BFFs at Reston Patch:

If the referendum had past [sic], residents in the affected clusters would've been able [sic] install individual cooling systems for their homes.

With RELAC's future in doubt after the company managing the jet-aged system announced it was ending service late last year, the RA had actually encouraged residents to vote to change the covenant to allow the sweet sweet sound of freedom AC units grinding away behind each home. With the covenants unchanged, the only way to install your own AC is to visit your "doctor" about your "allergies" -- a tactic which the former operators blamed for the shutdown in the first place.

Fortunately, a co-op is planning to continue RELAC's operations, so hopefully it'll be a mild spring until all this gets sorted out, the end.