News and notes from Reston (tm).

Friday, November 26, 2021

Black Friday, Reston Style (CW: Inappropriate Socks and Mistimed Holiday Decorations)

The holidays are fast approaching, so it's time to get into the spirit of the season and go to the place where we can be the very best versions of our Live, Work, Play selves: social media.

First. it's off to Meta Dot Com for this helpful Black Friday shopping tip!


Who doesn't love socks as a stocking stuffer?

Next, it's off to Why Is The Helicopter Over My Neighborhood and Who Are Those Kids Walking Down The Street Next Door Neighbor Dot Com:


Okay, that's fun! But it's also mid-November, and it's Next Door Neighbor Dot Com, meaning that nothing can be agreed upon (except maybe for those gunshots everyone definitely just heard), and someone has Thoughts:


Something's scary out there, and it's not the store displays or car decorations, the end.


Friday, November 12, 2021

Tall Oaks: Where Irony, Like International Supermarkets, Goes to Die


As the new development that has risen from the dusty ashes of the Tall Oaks Stucco Wasteland actually begins resembling the lovely renderings on the developer website, we happened to notice something on Google Maps the other day. What's the name of the spacious, boulevard-like roadway that winds its way through the Ashtons, Kellans, and Marleys, much like the Champs Élysées if it was surrounded by mid-rise townhomes and "elevator condominiums"? 

COMPUTER, ENHANCE FILE "ON_THE_NOSE.PNG":


"Bandit Loop." No one can say that developers don't have a sense of humor, although they probably should have saved that particular street name for a future development, the end.

Friday, October 8, 2021

Flashback Friday: Steppin' Into The Weekend, Southgate Style

Set the controls of the Earth-Toned Wayback Machine to the mid-1970s, where this photo from our BFFs at Reston, Remember When shows a nuclear family unit heading out of their swanky Southgate digs for an outing in Reston, which at the time meant either a trip to Memco or some fine dining, or maybe to play on some skull-crackin' concrete abutment or listen to some rockin' live music or see a blockbuster at the Reston Twin (it's daylight, so not that kind of blockbuster) or to get a really rad portrait made. All's we know is that 1) the only thing more gaudy than mom's mustard yellow slacks, which were likely visible all the way from Lake Anne, is dad's ginormous belt buckle, which is so wide that it appears to make a semicircle around his waist and 2) the kids look just about as excited to be hanging out with the parents as they would be today. The girl's even looking down at something in her hands, as if checking her "snaps," or whatever the kids call them, on a smart cellular telephone that wouldn't be invented for another three decades, the end.


Friday, October 1, 2021

A Different Kind of Reston Row, Illustrated

 

Ah, just a beautiful fall day in Reston, with our favorite parallelogram isosceles trapezoid balefully standing watch over a bunch of new home signs and the giant gaping void that will soon be home to a four-star hotel. Been there, done that. But wait, what's that we see in the reflection of the Sleestak mud pit?

Computer, enhance:

That's right. Where level G93 of the future woonerf-free parking garage will someday be is a giant gathering of porta-potties, huddled together for shelter. Definitely more gritty and urbane than videos of sharks, and it brings a whole new meaning to "Reston Row," the end.


Tuesday, September 28, 2021

BREAKING: That Giant Boom Wasn't Our Real Estate Prices Skyrocketing

 Bummer:

A prolonged, thunderous boom sounded all over the Washington region around 10:45 a.m. Tuesday, jarring residents unsure of its source. But, in all likelihood, it was caused by a lightning strike in the vicinity of Reston and Dulles.
Fairfax County Fire and Rescue tweeted a building was struck on Woodland Park Road, about midday between Reston and Dulles International Airport. It reported two minor injuries but no damage.

People on Next Door Neighbor dot com wondered if it was an explosion, followed surprisingly by rain showers instead of glowing embers and debris. Even a teevee newscaster was dubious. Your Restonian wondered briefly if the boom was our real estate values given all the exciting new amenities and arts, but we're sad to report that a quick check of Zillow dot com revealed that our sunken living room is still -- somehow! -- not worth its weight in gold, the end.


Thursday, September 16, 2021

Breaking: Loudoun County Literally Stinks

Yes, that was a real question on another filthy "web log" published in the friendly, particleboard-curious county to our west. And just in case your imagination isn't already running as rampant as an Ashburn resident with a Wegmans gift card in the prepared foods section, the aforementioned smell is "described as a sulfur-like odor, similar to rotting eggs.” Alls we can say is they can keep their fancypants three-sided brick townhomes and their X-rated parks, and we'll be happy to stick with a place where all you can smell is the sweeeeeet yet tangy aroma of new urbanism and fanciful concrete bollards, a scent reminiscent of hot cocoa and asphalt and chocolate chip cookies and rebar, the end.


Tuesday, September 7, 2021

RA's Magic Treehouse: Just One of Three Million-Dollar Projects Whose Timing Couldn't Possibly Be Better

So it's been a while since the Reston Association has suggested major new capital projects, maybe because of their semi-recent track record. But we can say this: when they dream, they dream big!

Last month, the RA proposed building a nifty new barn to hold hoedowns events, a treehouse to teach kids about the tree canopy, and an inclusive playground for children with disabilities -- all of which is great. They wanted the Friends of Reston to help raise money, which they did for earlier projects at the Nature Center. Only each of the projects would cost more than $1 million, which didn't go over quite so great, what with the maintenance backlog and pressure to close pools and the whole global pandemic putting the economy on a highwire thing. Give us some good blockquote, BFFs at Reston Now:

However, the RA and FOR boards both expressed hesitation and even frustration at the appeal, citing a lack of membership feedback, COVID-related sensitivities, and an ongoing budget crunch.“For any kind of capital campaign, we’d have to see that 80% of the community wants this,” FOR President Carol Nahorniak said. “I’m concerned about the cost…Looking at that price tag, we always know it will cost more. There are certain things I’m just not comfortable with.”
RA Director Sarah Selvaraj-D’Souza said she had heard only about the event barn prior to the meeting with FOR, calling it “embarrassing” that the board of directors wasn’t made aware of the other projects sooner.
RA interim CEO Larry Butler downplayed the pitch, saying all of this was simply “brainstorming” based on examples of potential major capital projects from staff.

All three projects would have to be approved by RA members through referenda, which has happened before, and it's not the first time we've seen some blue sky options thrown out to the public by the RA with little warning. But let's see what this most recent round of brainstorming came up with. First, our favorite Correspondent, the Peasant from Less Sought After South Reston, shared this image of what the treehouse might look like, asking "yew want it or not?" 


Ha ha. The funny thing is that the actual proposal doesn't look that different, with the possible exception of the hot tub:


Then there's the barn, which could be used for "weddings, concerts, and community events." To be planted somewhere between Brown's Chapel and the ballparks, the facility would look like a DRB-approved paint color violation something out of an Andrew Wyeth painting -- at roughly the same cost. 


Maybe if we had an old fashioned barn raisin', we could shave a bit off the $1.1 million price tag.


Then there's the inclusive playground, an ADA-compliant space modeled after Clemyjontri Park, which has ramps and other materials that allow children of all abilities to play. The pity is this is the one that probably makes the most sense, as families of children with disabilities 'round these here parts have long trekked to (shudder) McLean to visit the park. But it too would cost more than $1 million, and given its inclusion on this list will probably be unfairly lumped in the same category as these other projects. Even the other two projects could conceivably make sense, especially if they were funded as necessary amenities by developer proffers as Reston continues to fill out, an idea which has resulted in tons of new playing fields, green space, sidewalks, and -- oh, wait, we forgot -- that's exactly what hasn't happened.

Maybe it's time to read the room—even if the room is 20 feet above ground in a treehouse, the end.