News and notes from Reston (tm).

Friday, March 12, 2021

NFT, WTF: A Piece of Reston History Just Went On The Blockchain, And For Some ETH, Whatever That Is, It Could Be Yours (Updated)


After hearing that some piece of digital art just sold for a very nice $69 million on the blockchain, we here at Restonian Amalgamated Web Logs and Extruded Pork Products Worldwide, Ltd. realized that it was time to create a new revenue stream service for our faithful readers. That’s right, we’re putting the iconic piece of Reston history pictured above, featured in many of our most popular* posts over the years, up for sale as a Non-Fungible Token (NFT). It’s actually already “on the blockchain,” which means millions of years from now, our robotic overlords will have an immutable record of a tearful pony superimposed over the partially obscured logo of a midscale chain eatery that by then will have been defunct for many millennia. Technology is amazing! Here’s the writeup:
Like carbs? Like planned communities? Now you can have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to purchase a non-fungible piece of history from the restonian dot org web log, the leading news source about defunct midscale chain eateries in Reston, Virginia.  
Who among us can forget where we were on Dec. 18, 2014, when the Macaroni Grill in Reston, Virginia, abruptly closed its doors in the middle of the high calorie celebrations of the holiday season? This graphic, assembled from several recognizable images under the fair use concepts of parody and pastaria, immediately invokes the feeling of sudden shock many Restonians felt after a long period of time in which we knew the midscale chain eatery would ultimately close. For tens upon tens of the web log's faithful readers, it offered a visual sense of recognition, and ultimately, catharsis and acceptance.  
Beiger than Bansky. More blockchainy than Beeple. Less fungible than Furbies. This minor footnote of an unremarkable bit of 21st century history could be yours, if the arbitrary value of your cryptocurrency-based transaction is right!
Surely someone out there can spare 0.014184 ETH (whatever that is), plus “gas,” which is something we have a lot of, and in a very fungible sense. We're not sure what "owning" the image will do, as it will continue to be displayed on this filthy "web log," but we guess you'll have the only non-fungible blockchain version of it, which you could hang in a nice blockchain frame in your blockchain house in your independent blockchain-powered sovereign territory. But hurry! The “auction” is only going on for seven days, and with only 48,409 other NFT “artworks” available, it’s sure to skyrocket in value! 

Update: Sadly, this piece of Reston history didn't sell. No one appreciates the struggling artist! But this memento from one of the saddest days in our plastic fantastic planned community will remain on the blockchain forever, and after consulting with some of the great art houses of the world, we've repriced the NFT for what it's truly worth and will patiently wait for the world to catch up. They laughed at Van Gogh, too, and he didn't even live in a Census-designated place, the end.

 * Disclaimer: None of our posts were, technically, ever popular.

3 comments:

  1. Spock Around The Clock TonightMarch 13, 2021 at 10:03 PM

    To use a Star Trek currency from the planet Triskelion, "I bid 500 quatloos for the Doomsday Clock!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't do it! Don't sell your "unpopular" soul to the blockchain devil!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Finally an NFT that I would buy, my ETH is ready...

    ReplyDelete

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