Why does Reston Town Center hate America? (an in-depth investigation)

A few weeks back, we learned that the Reston Town Center Association has thus far declined to support the push for a referendum on turning Reston into a nifty town, encircled by moats filled with fire-breathing dragons and mauve-colored city walls. But that's just the half of it.

An exclusive Restonian investigation (OK, so maybe we just Googled "Reston Town Center" and "hates America") has revealed that the Reston Town Center isn't just against a plebiscite election that may or may not contravene state law, it's against America itself! Read this chilling first-person account:

This is what a photo of Reston Town Center looks like when you don't fill out a form to get a camera permit. For those who don't know, Reston Town Center (in Reston, Fairfax County, Virginia) is one of those shopping centers that use the illusion of a lively cultural district to lure you in to spend your money. I can't show you, but try to picture a neighborhood of streets, parking garages, offices, apartments and--most importantly--restaurants, movie theaters and other retail stores. Reston Town Center is just like the downtown of any vibrant city... with one important difference.

What sets Reston Town Center (and similar developments) apart is that it's all pretend. One hundred percent make-believe. Sure, it feels like you're on a public city street, dining at a family-owned outdoor cafe as locals and tourists walk by. But in reality, the entire complex is controlled by a single, giant property management corporation. In the case of Reston Town Center, that corporation is named Equity Office. And Equity Office doesn't allow anyone to take a picture on their private property without prior approval... and the documentation to prove it.

... Pull out a tripod and look for the best spot to photograph the scene, and those polite, friendly Reston Town Center guards will be quick to stand in your way. Quick to radio the security office. Quick to tell you sorry, but picture-taking is not allowed without advance written permission. Would you like to fill out a form and come back tomorrow?

A form? The horror, the horror....

Needless to say, the author of this was a bit shaken, particularly since this jack-booted atrocity happened right in the middle of Freedom Square. Oh, the irony!

Reston Town Center is nothing more than an outdoor shopping mall. The big business idea of what Main Street USA could be. What main street *should* be. Their slogan, "What downtown was meant to be," pretty much says it all. Reston Town Center is a place where people with money can gather to spend it, pretending they live somewhere much more exciting, much more vibrant than than the suburb they actually call home.

Sounds like America to us!