News and notes from Reston (tm).

Friday, December 31, 2021

So Long, 2021, And Don't Let The DRB-Approved Screen Door Hit You On The Way Out

The end of the year is a time for reflection, a special time to share the spirit and joy of a new year with your neighbors and loved ones -- especially on social media: 

With that same spirit in mind, it's time for us lazy "web loggers" to algorithmically generate yet another listicle of what's hot and what's not in our favorite plastic fantastic planned community as we enter the second year of the ought-twenties. Without further ado!

Ominous sounding names signaling developers' true intentionsFriendly sounding names obscuring developers' true intentions

Bikeshare stations littering residential neighborhoods with bikes and socialism
Discarded scooters littering lakes and wooded areas 
Million-dollar treehouses    Much more affordable rowhouses
Working from home due to COVID (with cool Zoom backgrounds!)
Working from home due to COVID (with cool Zoom backgrounds!)   
Mysterious metal objectsTrees suspended in glass trapezoids
 Four-star hotels with woonerfGazillion-star hotels in rebranded, woonerf-free zone 
Cutesy names for homes in new particleboard developmentsOddly apt names for streets in new particleboard developments

Dystopian video screens

Our new lizard overlords
CicadasWooden horses

Dysfunctional HOAs

Ruthlessly efficient algae killers
Starbucks, Office Depot, purveyors of gourmet toast, and Waffles (RIP)Cupcakeries, again and forever
Elite tech giants at RTCCanned fish purveyors at RTC
Mocking Loudoun CountyMocking Arlington County
Reston: The Baby BookReston: The NFT (still available at a reasonable price!)

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