On the YouTubes: Reston After Dark

Oh, this video that our BFFs at the Reston Association posted on their Facebook page must be nice:


ZOMG WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN

If we wanted to see this kind of filth, we'd subscribe to HBO.

Reston 2024: How Our Earth-Toned Community Could Profit From DC's Olympic Bid

Oh, DC, you never cease to amuse us, what with your Big Dreams to host the 2024 Olympics (SRLSLY?)

Of course, if this were to come to pass by some enormous oversight by the Olympic committee, plus bribes chance, some events would have to be held across the region, and Reston would clearly be a shoo-in. We're already slated to be the athletes village for the 2015 Annual World Police and Fire Games, so we've got Olympic Cred (and a bitchin' Uno's Chipolte's). Plus, by 2024, there's a good chance the Silver Line will be up and running, and maybe even have sidewalks and bridges and whatnot leading to our many Olympic venues.

So what events could Reston host? Is golf an Olympic sport? If so, put that one down as a solid "maybe" for 2024.

Cycling? The W&OD is an ideal venue, with the possible exception of a few pesky obstacles.

Everyone loves the swimming events, and while we may or may not have a bitchin' new indoor pool by 2024, one of our by-then many mauvescrapers would provide a dramatic venue for the high-dive events. Just get a big bucket of water for the parking lot civic plaza.

Equestrian events could be performed in a rebuilt stable, with sweeeeeet Olympic dollars supplanting RA assessments. Ski events could be held on the hill behind the Unitarian Church on Wiehle Avenue. The mind boggles!

Of course, DC is making the bid with Baltimore, so they'd have to throw an event or two over to our Maryland doppelganger. Also, due to DRB regulations, all medals would have to be bronze burnt ember, the end.

On the YouTubes: We Watch the Reston Association Videos So You Don't Have To

Once again, we waited until the 11th hour to visit this, August's exciting installment of RA Today. And it seems that even RA Today gets caught up in the doldrums of the slow news time of late summer, since we're missing the exciting construction B-roll action of previous episodes.

Instead, we visit RCC's Center Stage in Hunters Woods to learn about their (srsly) varied and interesting performing arts offerings. But all we get to see is two people sitting in chairs on a monochrome oriental rug, a minimalist setting fit for a modernist spectacle like "Our Town," if "Our Town" focused on obscure covenants rules. Sadly, there's no mention of RCC's greatest artistic triumph, which one reviewer said transformed the Center Stage into "the Globe Theater for a chaotic and confused 21st century."

Then we jump outside, to the pint-sized tennis courts used to indoctrinate train the next generation of tennis players. Cute!

"When you think of Reston, what comes to mind?" narrator Andy Sigle asks. "Trees?" Yep, those. So we get to learn about RA's environmental resources staff and their educational outreach, which is pretty awesome and whatnot. And with that, another five minutes and 24 seconds of our lives are over, passing through the hourglass as surely as the fleeting minutes of summer, only less perceptibly so. Happy Labor Day!

Flashback Monday: (Almost) Back to School

Set the controls of the Earth-Toned Wayback Machine to 1971, where we can witness construction of yet another Reston elementary school, this one on the eastern edge of our earth-toned planned community, making the name quite appropriate, even by Reston's naturey (and often overly literal) standards, the end.

Welcome to the '90s: Will Reston's Library Become an Internet Cafe, With Books? (Updated)

Whether it's jet-age air conditioning or enlightened master planning, Reston seems to have cemented its reputation as a unwilling guinea pig place to experiment with all sorts of exciting new ideas. So why not let our library, the county's busiest branch, be part of a Grand Experiment as well?

For the last month or so, people have been up in arms over proposed plans to "pilot" a new library organizational structure at Reston Regional Library (and another library in the county's other, lamer, planned community, Burke). Along with reducing the number of staff positions and dropping the requirement that most positions have a masters degree in library science, the changes would reduce information librarians and children's librarians because, you know, Ask Jeeves Altavista Yahoo Google. At the same time, the library system is already getting rid of tons of those, whazzitcalled, books that just take up shelf space better used for other things, like these newfangled "computers" that are connected, by wires, to a "world wide web" of "networks" by which people can access, among other things, filthy "web logs." In a letter, RCA's Terry Maynard asks:

A question: Where can’t you get free Wifi access these days? I get it even at the local car wash. So what’s the tax dollar “value added” of this model? On the other hand, where else can I borrow books for free? I can’t even browse and buy them in Reston at Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, or the Little Professor anymore.

Yesterday, Hunter Mill Superintendent Cathy Hudgins issued her own statement saying she has "grave concerns with the information circulating," which is actually an awesome pun, but you need to have a master's degree in library science to get it. Levity aside, Hudgins continues:

While the County has struggled in recent budgets with service reductions, I believe we have already gone too far. Please know that I am not in favor of additional limits to library services.

At their July meeting, the Library Board of Trustees wisely delayed implementation of any changes until they had additional opportunity for discussion and to have their questions addressed. The proposed changes will be on the agenda at their upcoming September meeting. In the upcoming days, I will be meeting with our Hunter Mill representative and Library Director Sam Clay to hear the details of the proposal first-hand.

In the meantime, you can sign a fancy online petition expressing your concerns about the proposed changes; so far, more than 1,000 people have done so. Of course, you'll need to get to a computer with Internet access to sign it, which means you might have to wait your turn for one of the paltry number of terminals at the Reston library, maybe flipping through a book or something to pass the time until you can "log on," or whatever it is the kids do these days.

Personally, we think the library system should take a look at other book-related trends in Reston and adjust accordingly. Given the retailer that's replacing Barnes & Noble just down the street, there's obviously a huge untapped demand for the lending and loaning of plastic containers of varying sizes and shapes. Hey, maybe we could put our books in them!

Update: Maynard takes issue with Hudgins' statement, arguing that the county has systematically been cutting library budgets since 2007.

With Debut Album, RDGLDGRN Extends Reston's Musical Legacy (Updated)

Legitimately awesome Reston band RDGLDGRN has announced that its debut album will "drop," as the kids no longer say, in early September. You can order a signed copy if you're into such things. They also have a fall tour that extends across North America and Europe, though sadly no concert has yet been slated for the new "civic plaza" near the transit-oriented apartment complex that was clearly inspired by the band's vowel-free name. All in all, though, they've helped cement Reston's legacy as the Seattle of the 2010s epicenter of pop music, plus their music has a good beat and you can dance to it.

Here's one of those new-fangled "music videos" the kids keep talking about, the end.



Update: RDGLDGRN is holding a benefit concert at Reston's Sunset Hills Montessori School on Saturday, Aug. 31. Deets here.

Flashback Monday: Welcome to the Monkey House

We all know the story about Reston's most famous export, the Ebola Reston virus that, from its humble beginnings in a lab on Isaac Newton Square, became the star of a best-selling book before resurfacing in the Philippines and China.

Well, we've found a treasure trove of photos from the lab online, and even though they were posted in the 1990s, they're New to Us. Taken (hopefully) after the Army essentially nuked the building with bleach and formaldehyde, most of them are pretty boring, like this:

Almost as nightmare-inducing as the potential of a deadly and massively contagious virus "jumping" to humans is the thought of those sweeeeeeeet vertical blinds and awesome oak cabinetry "jumping" to other Reston homes as 1970s architects became infected with the dreaded Earth-Tone Virus.

But we digress. Another website quotes the Hot Zone in describing the total desolation of the building once it had been cleaned by the Men in Black:

For a short while until life could re-establish itself there, the Reston Primate Quarantine Unit was the only building in the world where nothing lived, nothing at all.

And, as proof that human optimism is ever eternal:

And, as we all know, the building was torn down and became, of all things, a daycare center, because why not, the end.

On The YouTubes: The Unbearable Lightness of Reston Station

Given the recent unpleasantness about the direction of Metro-oriented development in our earth-toned community, we thought we'd bring the room down a bit today. Courtesy of Confidential Restonian Operative "Rupert," please to be enjoying this aerial footage of the bollardy wonderland rising next to the Wiehle Avenue Metro station, as filmed by some kind of droney plaything -- which seem to be popping up more and more often these days. With the soothing new age music playing in the background, risers and footers have never been more calming, the end.

Masterplanpocalypse Now: RCA Issues Epic Smackdown of Planning Process

We've been remiss in keeping tabs on the progress of the county-backed Reston Master Plan Task Force With an Unpronounceable Acronym(¶), mainly because in recent months there's been a lot of revisions of drafts going back and forth, which reminds us of how just the sight of tracked changes in Microsoft Word make our eyes retract into their sockets. Fortunately, our BFFs at the Reston Citizens Association have been ever vigilant, and they're not exactly super happy about the latest revisions to the plan, which, among other things, double the "walking distance" around each of the new Metro stations to allow more dense development further away. Last week, Terry Maynard, RCA's representative to the task force, issued what, in the highly technical language of comprehensive planning, is called an epic smackdown:

There are two critical ramifications of this amorphous, incomplete, and ultimately dysfunctional draft Plan language. The first is that it gives developers virtually unfettered opportunity to build what they want in the density they wish at places of their choosing. The stretching of boundaries and softening of planned mixes means almost anything can be built anywhere. The easy opportunities for developers to increase densities and alter mixes through proffers and bonuses means, among other things, that we risk development far exceeding even the traffic clogging levels identified in Scenario G.

On the other hand, the draft Plan language essentially calls upon current Restonians to absorb all the burdens created by adding up to 50,000 jobs and 40,000 residents in the station areas.Despite the fact that the County Parks Authority has identified a need for more than 100 acres of parks and recreation facilities to serve those people, the draft plan does not identify space in the station areas to accommodate that need. In fact, it calls upon the current residents of Reston to share their space — which they pay for annually — so that developers can build more and make greater profits. At the same time, the draft plan does not recommend — much less require — that the new station area residents (who are not part of RTCA) become members of RA. This is a double whammy for Restonians.

But other than some minor wording changes, is there anything wrong with way the county has been preparing for growth?

With the exception of work by Comstock, only a few County sidewalk improvements are likely to be completed before rail arrives. The most important improvement, the Soapstone Connector, is still in the feasibility stage and that process began just six months ago. Only $5 million of the estimated $105 million needed to complete the recommended infrastructure has been approved. From Reston’s perspective, the County lacks credibility in delivering even the most basic infrastructure needs —streets, transit, schools, recreational facilities, etc. —much less amenities, such as a performing arts center as they are laid out in this draft plan…

We get it. We know that the County is in significant long-term financial jeopardy and that it hopes that it can increase tax revenues through additional development in Tysons and along the Dulles Corridor. To do this, it feels compelled to give developers what they want. At the same time, it is clearly unwilling to make even the most necessary investments in Reston.Nonetheless, we reject the notion that Reston should be a cash cow for the County and give up its visionary well-planned community to serve the profitability of the private sector or redress bad financial decisions by the Board of Supervisors.

At which point, this didn't happen, but it should have:


In his own blog post, RCA President Colin Mills explained the reasoning behind the takedown.

Perhaps our largest overall concern is that the draft plan language is too soft. Too many “shoulds,” not enough “musts.” Also, in the most recent draft, the amount of developable land around the stations has been increased, simply by changing the calculation of walking distance from the stations. Our community is depending on the plan language to ensure that new development adheres to the Reston vision and maintains our quality of life. If that language contains too many weasel words, it leaves Reston unprotected. (Ironically, several developer representatives complained at the meeting that the language is too prescriptive, and doesn’t leave room for flexibility.)

As I mentioned earlier, we’ve been raising these issues for some time. So why are we making such a strong statement now? Because our concerns haven’t been addressed. We’ve been working actively and positively with the Task Force for 4 years. We’ve provided several rounds of comments on the plan details as they’ve emerged. We want this to work just as much as everyone else does.

Unfortunately, from our perspective, the drafts have been moving in the wrong direction. They’ve had progressively less backbone and fewer protections for the interests of Reston citizens. And we’re getting frustrated. Since merely commenting hasn’t been enough, we decided it was time to let our frustration show.

While that may be bad for congeniality at Task Force meetings, perhaps our concerns and disagreements will finally be discussed openly and honestly. And that would be good for the Comprehensive Plan that emerges, and good for Reston. It’s better that we have these contentious discussions now, rather than smiling our way through the meetings and winding up with a plan that doesn’t serve the community.

A more detailed critique of specific details of the plan is available here.

Update: Footage of the actual smackdown has surfaced.

Outrage: Another Earth-Toned Town Usurps Reston's Rightful Place on 'Best Places to Live' List

Hey, remember that time that Reston was named the 7th best place to live in the country, erasing such slights to our fee-fees as the previous inclusion of such stellar locales as cloverleaf intersection Centreville and -- still shocking after all these years -- Manassas Park?

Yeah, that was awesome. Well, this year's rankings from Money Magazine are out, and as Kasey Kasem might have said, Reston has fallen right off the charts. In its place? Our only neighbor that's even more obsessed with earth tones than Reston. That's right, Vienna, which came in #3 in this year's survey.

Unlike other cookie-cutter suburbs in Northern Virginia, Vienna offers walkability, a historic center, and unique businesses that give Vienna an identity all its own.

The only "historic" thing in the center of town we can think of is this (which ain't bad, we admit). Otherwise, the "historic center" (if you can consider a long, traffic-clogged strip of 123 a "center") is all ugly low-rise buildings, painted a uniform shade of Russet Brown that would make the DRB envious. But there's more!

A town green anchors the community and serves as a gathering spot for local events, like the Concerts on the Green summer series. A 45-mile bike path and park built on the roadbed of a former railroad cuts right through town, and downtown is dotted with one-of-a-kind stores and homegrown eateries. The small-town feel comes with access to all the D.C. metro area attractions.

Like Paris? It was also nice that they included a photo of the Reston-Vienna Expressway "former roadbed" as the town's official photo:

To be fair, Money does acknowledge that all that Russet Brown awesomeness does come at a cost:

All that comes at a cost: Real estate prices and taxes are among the highest in the county. A typical three-bedroom can sell for $600,000 -- and bidding wars are the norm. Then there's the traffic, though that's just a fact of life for anyone near the nation's capital.

We'll grudgingly admit we're a bit jealous of the creative minds of our Russet Brown neighbor to the east, who shared a bit of that Vienna "can-do" spirit in the magazine's comments:

Our neighbor to the west was also snubbed this year, although there's a good chance they'll make Soldier of Fortune's list of Best Places to (Allegedly) Plan an Armed Insurrection when that list comes out. Leesburg was the only other Virginia town to make the Money list this year, ranked at #35. Since we don't want to spend $14 on round-trip Greenway tolls, we've got nothing to say about that, the end.

Not Quite The X-Files: Mysterious Crop Circles Disrupt Bourgeois Activities on Indeterminately Zoned Property

First there were the mysterious burn zones. Then came the strange lights and sounds. Now crop circles?

Confidential Restonian Operative "Biker Sherlock" shares these v. v. exciting photos from the Reston National Golf Course. He writes:

Unfortunately they are on the Reston National golf course on holes 13 and 14 and are probably not made by ET's cousins but more likely by mom's Camry. It seems that not everyone has gotten the memo that Caddyshackpocalypse was delayed and that the golf course is not for driving on (yet). Of course if you see people driving down the W&OD every other day, mistakes are easily made.

There are no words. It's not the first time this has happened, either, and in a strange way, hopefully it won't be the last.

We, For One, Welcome Our ELF Overlords

It's just not fair. Through years of extensive behavior modification therapy, we've finally managed to suppress the urge to scream "NERD!" at the top of our lungs whenever we see a recumbent bike, and now we're going to see these as we sit in traffic on Reston Parkway?

Confidential Restonian Operative "Boneless Buffalo" sent us the picture above when he spotted the UFO (unidentified fancypants object) in Reston a week or so back, but it took us a bit of Google-Fu to figure out exactly what it was:

RESTON, VA. — Mark Stewart turns quite a few heads as he zips through the streets on his neon green ELF bike. With each pedal, his feet take turns sticking out from the bottom while a gentle motor hums in the background.

What he's driving looks like a cross between a bicycle and a car, the closest thing yet to Fred Flintstone's footmobile, only with solar panels and a futuristic shape.

It's a "green" option for today's commuters.

Stewart, a 65-year-old family therapist and school psychologist from Cambridge, Mass., took the summer off in order to drive his new ELF bike more than 1,200 miles on trails and roads using the East Coast Greenway, a bike and pedestrian trail that runs from Canada to Key West.

That runs through Reston? Actually, no. But that's not important right now. What is important is that we have before us a vehicle even more Restonesque than the ubiquitous Prius, at a fraction of the cost:

The ELF, or "Organic Transit Vehicle," can go for 1,800 miles on the energy equivalent of a gallon of gasoline. It does not require the insurance, repair and car maintenance costs of the average vehicle. Besides the cost of the occasional new tire, the ELF runs completely off what it costs to charge its battery.

Stewart bought the ELF from Durham-based Organic Transit, which sells them for a base price of $5,000. He said he wanted to avoid the almost $1,000 delivery charge, so he decided to fly down to pick up the bike in person and learn how to operate it before taking the long trip back home.

Apparently there are some pesky rules about where exactly you can drive ride this thing -- it's motorized, so in some places it can't go on bike paths or sidewalks, not that this apparently stops people on the W&OD. It's not exactly car-like, either, but that shouldn't stop Restonians from picking them up in scores. In fact, we strongly recommend that Organic Transit open a bike shop dealership right here in Reston, just as soon as they start offering the ELF in Russet Brown, Asteroid, and Sea Foam, the end.

Signs of the Times

Wow, it's actually happening. At some point, anyway. And given that the "annual membership" for the "secure, indoor Bike & Ride locker room" in the county parking garage is a mere $75, we think we've finally found an affordable solution to vowel-free living by the new Metro station, the end.

Flashback Monday: Shiny Happy People

Set the controls of the Earth-Toned Wayback Machine to the early 1980s, when Reston was still plying its planned community wares to an unsuspecting public. And what better way to do so than show just how happy happy happy Restonians of all stripes were in this fancy glossy magazine ad? On display, we've got all kinds of sweeeeeeeeet winged 80s hair, soccer, and even a token nod at showcasing diversity (judging by the proportion of photos, they must have wanted to point out that Reston was 1/18 minority at this point). Please to be enjoying some breathless advertising copy:

The fact is, there are certain things about life in Reston that can't be conveyed in words. But are expressed, all the same, with smiles and glances, and sometimes, nothing more than a friendly wave.

You see, these people live in a community where neighbors are friends, and not just the people next door. Their kids climb trees that are older than Reston itself. And walk to schools that are some of America's best. They find themselves learning to sail, taking ballet, and enjoying things they never thought they had time for. Visit Reston and see why 35,000 people can't seem to say enough about where they live.

Lovely. In fact, the prose paints such a vivid picture, it almost erases the indelible memory of the image in the middle right square in this version of Hollywood Wood-Tone Squares:

JOOOOOOOIN US.

Bollardy Goodness You Can Throw? Bocce Court Included in RA Budget Proposals

It's well known that we give fanciful concrete bollards a hard time on this filthy "web log." Maybe that's because we've never been given the opportunity to cup one in the palm of our hand, get a sense for its heft, and hurl it down a playing field of crushed stone. Well, if we're really lucky, all that could change.

It's budget time again for the Reston Association, and a Confidential Restonian Operative pointed out that among the 136 suggestions received from members, staff, and the board, two involve adding bocce courts to the vast constellation of amenities in our favorite earth-toned community.

"Reston has always prided itself in being an international community, yet there is no bocce court!" wrote one proposal in the budget. In another, RA Board member Richard Chew called the idea "a low-cost way for RA to expand its recreational offerings and create a focal point for a wide spectrum of our members to gather."

Sweet! Our only concern is that it could get, you know, kinda extreme:


All in all, though, it's definitely cheaper than indoor tennis, the end.