News and notes from Reston (tm).

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

We're #7! Reston Reclaims the Mantle So Unfairly Usurped By Manassas Park

Money.jpegOur earth-toned nirvana has been ranked the 7th best place to live in the U.S. by the listicle addicts at Money Magazine, an incredible honor only slightly tainted by previous years' inclusion of cloverleaf intersection Centreville and, of all places, Manassas Park, on the list. (Seriously, WTF?)

Here's what Money had to say about Reston:

Reston may be a planned community, but don't expect cookie-cutter homes here. Thanks to famed master planner Robert Simon, houses of all shapes and sizes sit next to one another.

Activities come in all stripes too, from an ├╝ber-urban downtown to 55 miles of bike paths, 52 tennis courts, and 15 pools.

Thanks to Reston's growing reputation as a technology hub near Washington Dulles International Airport, major firms have large offices here. Those who do commute to D.C. contend with traffic, but next year's completion of the Washington Metro's extension to Reston will help alleviate the pain.
Sure it will.

Of course, someone (not us, for a change) had to ruin all the fun on the magazine's fancy "web site.":

Screen shot 2012-08-21 at 8.40.10 AM.jpg

Exurban nightmare Carmel, Indiana, which has helped sucked the life out of nearby Indianapolis, was the best place to live on the annual list. On the plus side, it does have "a big sports and recreation center." Number two (heh) was McKinney, Texas, where the main draw appears to be homes like this:

ugly home.jpg
We'll stick with earth-toned T-111 siding and stucco, thank you very much.

To be sure, Reston is arguably the most diverse of the "best cities" ranked above it. But the REAL SCANDAL is on the magazine's Fan Favorite Towns, based on how many people "like" their town on Facebook. At the time of this writing, Reston is currently #4, while its evil Maryland doppelganger, Columbia, is climbing the ranks quickly to #13. C'mon folks, Facebook harder or something, the end.

7 comments:

  1. Obviously never been here.

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  2. "Facebooking" too much can make you go blind, y'know.

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  3. Forest Edge of GloryAugust 21, 2012 at 3:33 PM

    False. Reston is the best *place* to live in the US. Those other posers are cities. Do your research, Money.

    A childhood of slogging through the "Place Called Reston" white pages burned the undeniable fact of our place-ness.

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  4. Rose By Any Other NameAugust 21, 2012 at 5:23 PM

    McKinney, Texas, along with the rest of the Dallas metropolitan area, will likely run out of water one day soon--they are busy pumping their aquifers dry just to keep up with the ridiculous shit suburban sprawl that characterizes so much of Texas. Summers are unbearably hot there, with hardly a decent-sized shade tree in sight. Money magazine "editors"--losing that word loosely--have clearly never been there!

    Wonder where Reston will rank in a few years from now, when all the currently scheduled (or wished for) new development is in place? A "Place Called Reston" will be better named "A Place Called Reinforced Concrete"

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  5. Unfortunatley, Reston once again FAILED to make the T0P 10 List of Most Honest Cities in America, with an honesty rating of just 78%, which is just below the most dishonest city in America, Los Angeles.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/21/honest-tea-most-least-honest-cities_n_1812054.html

    Honest Tea had this to say about Reston's abysmal record of dishonesty.

    "It turns out that most Restonians are basically dishonest. We think the average Restonian is dishonest because most Restonians are trained liars that work for the CIA, NSA, the White House so it's actually difficult to determine whether their 'known knowns' are unknown unknowns or known unknows. Interestly, the only group of Restonians that appear to be honest are employees of the USGS. Apparently, there nothing to be gained from lying about an earthquake that didn't really take place. Very honest group of Restonians at the USGS. However, Reston's honesty ratio is adversely impacted by the outright baldfaced lies constantly repeated by a handful of 4th Level Government employees and Board members of the Reston Association that contantly lie about how the organization is dedicated to preserving Reston's open and green spaces. These lies occur with such great regularity, and with such open frequency, that it gives the impression that Restonians in general are a delusional lying lot. When we set up the unmanned tea kiosks in front of the Reston Association's corporate headquaters, and asked RA employees and RA Board members to deposit a dollar for each beverage, using the honor system, not only did they swipe every bottle without leaving a dollar, they actually replaced every swiped bottle with an empty Refreshers drink container from Starbucks! We're not sure what the purpose of that deception was all about. We think it means that even liars believe in recyling."

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    Replies
    1. "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them"

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  6. Another Top Ten List? Hah! I cannot believe that people take these things seriously. Apparently, over at Reston Association and also at the Reston Patch, they do! I pity the fools! These Money Magazine Top Ten articles have zero street cred, the same being true of much of Money's content in general.
    Less you think I am being too negative and down on Reston these days, may I assure you that I am a happy, well-adjusted, gainfully employed individual who has happily lived many places ( too many perhaps?). It's just that Reston, RA, and NoVa generally are all just so "Target Rich" that I cannot control myself sometimes.LOL

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