Treepocalypse Now: 'We're all Restonians,' except maybe for the trees that have been shipped off to paper mills, or wherever

The Reston Design Review Board has voted to allow the awesome stream restoration project to continue, so long as the earth-movers and other heavy tree-shreddin' equipment are all painted one of five approved shades of bright yellow. Well, maybe not, but what was striking is that unlike the last awesome hearing about the project back in December, more of the 40 people who showed up to Tuesday's meeting supported the project than opposed it.

Reston Association's Design Review Board approved the application submitted by RA and Wetland Studies and Solutions Inc. for first three reaches of the Glade stream valley on Tuesday night. About 100 people attended the meeting, which lasted late into the night.

DRB Chairman Richard Newlon said he said he wanted the crowd to keep in mind that "we're all Restonians" and they should get through the meeting as quickly as they can in a civil manner. Newlon also reminded everyone that the DRB was there to look at the design of the project and not other aspects of the project. "What we're going to be looking for is the visual impact," he said.

See? Our joke about approved color swatches wasn't too far from the mark. But also, hey! Free firewood!

Mike Rolband, WSSI owner presented information on the changes that have been made to the project, including changing the bridge style, using paved pathways to save trees and refining their limits of clearing to avoid high-value trees. Rolband said moving forward they will ensure they have community dialogue meetings before the project comes before the DRB. He said they will also make firewood available to Reston residents for free from the trees they cut down.

Others likened the project to gruesomely disfiguring plastic surgery -- and they were among its supporters:

Stella Koch of the Audubon Naturalist Society said she has worked with stream restoration projects in the past and supports the project. "The saddest thing to watch in this county is the streams," she said. She said for a stream valley to heal the water must be treated first and compared the project to facial reconstruction surgery. "The surgery part of fixing your face is disgusting," she said. "But the end result is better."

Hmmm. Have you seen Joan Rivers lately? Anyway, the Save the Glade folks say they will continue to fight, if only so woodland creatures still have a place to procreate.

Diana Carter, representing Save the Glade, also gave a short presentation in opposition to the project. She said they wanted to thank WSSI for being able to work well with them and also thanked community members for getting involved. She said the first three reaches of the Glade project do not show the amount of destruction that residents will see when WSSI moves further down in the project.

The Save the Glade group is also concerned that the wildlife study is not adequate enough, Carter said. The study should include animals' habitats throughout the year and breeding seasons among other things.

Maybe WSSI can just play old Barry White albums over loudspeakers strategically located throughout Glade.

This Week in Crime: The old 'want to clean my house?' ploy -- and a creepy repeat offender

A word to the wise: Friends don't let friends clean strangers' houses.

On Tuesday, January 27, detectives arrested Amjad Zuhdi Arnous, 35, of 11710 Old Bayberry Lane in Reston. Arnous allegedly approached a 36-year-old Herndon woman on Friday, January 23 between 10 and 11 a.m. and asked her if she wanted to get paid to clean his house. She agreed and went to his home. Inside the home, Arnous showed her the house. In his bedroom, he is charged with locking the door, taking off his clothes and touching the victim inappropriately. She was able to escape unharmed.

Arnous was transported to the Fairfax County Adult Detention Center and charged with abduction with intent to defile and aggravated sexual battery. Arnous is described as white, 5 feet 10 inches tall and 180 pounds. He has black hair and brown eyes. It is believed that there are other victims.

Not too creepy, right? But that's not the scary part. This is the same guy who was arrested for attempting to abduct a 13-year-old girl at the North Point Starbucks back in July. Police used the same mugshot (above) when he was arrested last time, so they probably managed to figure out it was the same guy. So why wasn't he in jail, exactly?

This Week in Crime: Our friends and neighbors, MS-13 and the 18th Street Gang

Hey, remember that double shooting in South Reston back in October that kicked off our MASSIVE CRIME WAVE and, following a lengthy investigation, police determined just might have been gang related? Turns out it was gang-related -- and with a vengeance.

A Washington-area gang leader has been charged for his alleged role in the October shooting of two men in Reston, federal court documents said.

Dennis L. Gil Bernardez, aka “Dopre” and “Pando,” was charged Friday with committing a violent crime in aid of racketeering after being identified by one of the Reston victims from a photo array, according to documents filed in Alexandria’s U.S. District Court.

Bernardez runs the MS-13 group Normandie Locos Salvatrucha, which controls the notoriously violent gang’s turf in the District and Prince George’s County, an FBI agent wrote in a sworn statement.

But Bernardez was recently sent to Fairfax County by MS-13 leaders in El Salvador because the group there, the Western Locos Salvatrucha, was not “representing,” or handling gang business properly, the agent wrote.

What, were they not tagging buildings with the proper earth-tone colored spray paint? Actually, as is the case with South Lakes and Oakton parents, the shooting actually stemmed from a longstanding rivalry.

The events leading up to the Oct. 6 shooting started Aug. 30 with an MS-13 gang member clashing with his relative, a former 18th Street gang member from Los Angeles. The two men lived in the same Reston apartment complex. The relative and two friends beat the ex-18th Street member with a baseball bat and glass bottles, the agent wrote.

The 18th Street gang started in Los Angeles in the 1960s and the two gangs became rivals as MS-13 moved in.

On Sept. 2, the former 18th Street member and his friends retaliated, punching the MS-13 gang member and others through the windows of a white Ford Explorer.

Then came Oct. 6, when Bernardez approached the 18th Street member and two other men in a Reston park, the agent wrote. Bernardez had two men with him and asked them, “Which ones?” Bernardez’s companions pointed to the 18th Street member and another man. Bernardez then allegedly pulled out a revolver and opened fire, hitting the 18th Street member in the back and missing the second man, with a bullet passing through his sweatshirt.

The third man said, “I am not in their gang. I have no problem with you,” he later told the agent.

Bernardez started walking away, but then turned.

“I can’t leave any evidence,” he reportedly said as he opened fire, hitting the third man twice in the back.

Both shooting victims survived.

We should be thankful their aim is no better than their Scarface-era dialogue.

This Week in Crime: A valuable tip to would-be murderers

It's probably best not to spraypaint a lengthy diatribe about your husband's proclivity for pornography on the driveway before committing a crime.

A Fairfax County woman who shot and killed her husband inside their home last year, saying she did it in self-defense, was convicted yesterday of voluntary manslaughter. Fairfax prosecutors sought to convict her of first-degree murder.

Marysusan Giguere, 53, did not deny that she fired one shot into the forehead of her husband of 25 years, Ronald K. Giguere, 60, an administrator at the Federal Highway Administration. He was found dead in the bathroom of their home on Crowell Road near Reston, just steps from the bedroom of the couple's two children, then ages 14 and 12.

On March 2, Giguere took cans of sky-blue spray paint and neatly wrote a lengthy diatribe on the family driveway about her husband and his alleged interest in pornography. Prosecutors had theorized that Giguere was angry at her husband because he had refused to take her to their son's basketball game that night and also because she was made to sleep in a separate downstairs bedroom.

Yeah, but did anything weird happen?

Update: Giguere got eight years in prison.

Reston Town Center Hyatt: PR Geniuses

After, well, years since it was in the news at all, two stories about the Reston Town Center Hyatt crossed the transom on the exact same day:

Episcopal diocese warms to gay unions: Delegates meeting in Reston 'take that step'
The Episcopal Diocese of Virginia inched closer to blessing same-sex unions Saturday when delegates approved a resolution affirming "the inherent integrity and blessedness of committed Christian relationships between two adult persons."

The resolution, which passed by an uncounted show of hands by the 700 or so Episcopalians meeting at the Reston Hyatt, first recommended the diocese respond "to the pastoral needs of our faithful gay and lesbian members."

Hyatt Regency Reston Caters to Northern Virginia Wedding Planners with its First Annual Bridal Showcase
Reston, Virginia (PRWEB) January 25, 2009 -- Just in time for the weddings season, the Hyatt Regency Reston- a well-established Northern Virginia wedding site, located at 1800 Presidents Street, Reston, Virginia - will host its first annual Bridal Showcase on Sunday, January 25, 2009. More than thirty-five of the finest Northern Virginia wedding industry suppliers will be on hand to exhibit at the event, which truly promises to provide a one-stop shop experience to the local bridal community.

Coincidence? We're not sure, but we're guessing there will be some lovely pastel tuxedos at that bridal show.

Who Wants More Bacon? Or: How a virus named after an earth-toned real estate development could kill you

Okay, now it's time to panic. Ebola Reston, the disease so nice they named it after a planned real estate development with two golf courses, has now jumped from monkeys to pigs to humans.

In the first known case of what may be transmission of the Ebola virus from a pig to a human, a pig handler in the Philippines has tested positive for a strain of the virus, world health officials and the Philippine government announced Friday.

But the strain — Ebola Reston — is not known to be dangerous to humans, and the worker, who was infected at least six months ago, is healthy, officials said.

The development is worrying, because pigs are mixing vessels for other human and animal viruses, like flu, and because it shows that pigs may also be able to transmit the lethal strains of Ebola. Far more humans are in regular contact with pigs than with apes, monkeys or bats, the other known hosts.

Oops. Remind us to cancel our plans to launch Reston's first Bats-N-Monkeys Pettin' Place(tm) franchise.

Treepocalypse Now: Trees vs. Tennis, a real dilly of a pickle

Reston's Design Review Board will decide tomorrow whether to allow the awesome stream renovation project, which has turned peaceful wooded streams into arid wastelands -- and this site's ordinarily deserted comments section into a vibrant flamefest -- to continue.

Tuesday WSSI staff will bring the project to the Design Review Board again. The board deferred the project in December after members listened to more than three hours of public comment from concerned residents. Tuesday's meeting begins at 7 p.m. at RA headquarters located at 1930 Issac Newton Sq.

This, after the company doing the work made revisions to its plan, including promising not to create giant parking-lot sized wastelands for its heavy tree-leveling equipment.

Wetland Studies and Solutions Inc. (WSSI) has revised plans for the pending restoration of the Glade Watershed. WSSI president Mike Rolband said plans were adjusted to save as many trees as possible. "I’m trying to find the most palatable solution," he said.

THE COMPANY conducted a wildlife habitat evaluation of the watershed and has adjusted the limits of construction to avoid important habitats as much as possible, Rolband said. Also, he said, the company has delineated its exact access routes and construction areas and marked all trees that are to be removed so that citizens will know what to expect. Where water comes from drainpipes, the streambed cannot be raised as is being done elsewhere, so workers will now put up walls around the ends of those pipes rather than widening the streambed to accommodate the flow. And a couple of the bridges that are being replaced are to be moved, so as not to disturb trees that have grown up around them since their original construction.

Along the first reach, WSSI now plans to use the swimming pool and tennis court parking lots to house equipment, rather than clearing an area. "Originally, people didn’t want us to shut the tennis court parking lot down," Rolband said, noting that a few people still were not pleased with the arrangement.

No surprise there -- if there's something Restonians care more about than trees, it's their tennis courts. But for opponents of the project, no worries! Even if it proceeds, you'll be able to rescue various trees, shrubs and invasive plants before they're bulldozed into toothpick-sized scraps.

If approved, construction could begin Feb. 9. Rolband said if they are approved a plant rescue will be held from Feb. 5-7 and residents may come take plants from the areas WSSI will be working in. For those not strong enough to dig up plants themselves 10 WSSI staff members will be on hand to assist them.

We have, as they say in the movies, a Plan:

1) "Rescue" various plantings from the Glade Watershed,
2) Replant them in the Snakeden Watershed, where apparently there's some newly cleared space for trees and stuff to grow, and
3) Stick it to the man!

Problem solved, in wacky sitcom fashion. You can thank us all later.

Flashback Monday: Under the Sea Lake

Behold Reston's original stream restoration project: the creation of awesome manmade lakes from whole cloth, all the better to live in harmony with nature, or something resembling it, only with more valuable waterfront real estate parcels.

This is a picture of "Lake Wyeth," which is what Robert E. Simon apparently wanted to call Lake Thoreau, but the painter, apparently not a fan of earth tones, said no, leading Reston's developers to instead name it after some writer or something who 1) liked trees and 2) couldn't sue, on account of having been dead for more than 100 years. Either way, this muddy pastoral landscape would ultimately be replaced by a murky, algae-filled lake, the end.

This Week in Crime: A Map of Terror

The folks at the Connection finally got wind of the fact that we've got a MAJOR CRIME WAVE going on, and came up with this helpful map of terror, outlining each frightening incident. By carefully triangulating the data points, we've come to the conclusion the only place where we can be safe from the threat of further armed robberies is at the center of Lake Anne -- but even there we'd be at risk from wetsuit-clad ne'er-do-wells. But what do the police have to say about this MASSIVE CRIME WAVE?

According to police spokesman Don Gotthardt, a rise in such crimes is not unusual during the winter. "Historically, between November and February, we do see a rise in robberies, a rise in street crime," Gotthardt said.

Gotthardt said police were not viewing any of the crimes as being connected at this point, although witnesses to the robberies of the two banks and the 7-Eleven gave similar descriptions of the perpetrators, each describing a relatively small man, either black or of "medium complexion," ranging between 5 feet 2 inches and 5 feet 7 inches in height and having a slim build.

By comparison, last January saw two armed robberies in Reston, although six houses had been burglarized by an organized group in the proceeding month.

An organized group invading homeowners' personal space? We knew the DRB was scary, but we had no idea.

Meanwhile, in the Anti-Reston: Partying it up, Herndon style

When they're not perusing the sizzlin' singles scene, Reston's upwardly mobile glitterati have a variety of places to party like it's 1969, back when Reston was still as new and shiny as a giant multinational oil corporation's hopes and dreams. The Macaroni Grill, Pizzeria Unos... the list goes on and on! But folks in our tolerant neighbor to the west, quite frankly, have us beat. They live it up in the sewers.

Four men were arrested while partying in a storm sewer after some Herndon residents complained of hearing loud voices below their homes.

According to Herndon police, approximately seven men were hanging out in a storm sewer under the 500 block of Early Fall Court in Herndon when police responded to a report of loud noises Jan. 17 at around 3 p.m.

According to spokesman Lt. Jeff Coulter, as police arrived, three of the men ran off but police found four men who appeared to have been drinking -- one of whom was passed out in the sewer.

"We just lifted up a manhole cover on Early Fall Court and there they were," said Coulter.

Police arrested three of the men for drunk in public and the unconscious fourth man was extracted from the sewer by a Fairfax County Fire and Rescue HAZMAT team, then taken to Reston Hospital. One of the men was charged with destruction of property after he kicked out the window of a police cruiser.

The men were described as white or Hispanic, all between the ages of 30 and 50 years old.

"This is a new one for us," said Coulter on Monday. "We've chased kids out of storm drains before, but never a group of grown men."

Brings new meaning to the underground party scene.

Reston's Vibrant Economy Part 34: Where the hell's our bailout?

You know how we keep reading stories in the newspaper about giant banks getting billions of dollars in bailout funds from the federal gubmint to help clean up the mess they created, and then after we're done reading the aforementioned newspaper we throw it into the burning scrap heap we're using as our primary source of heat? Well, turns out one Reston bank is getting some of that sweet bailout action.

WashingtonFirst Bank received preliminary approval for a $6.6 million capital investment from the Treasury Department through the Capital Purchase Program, part of the $700 billion Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP), the bank announced Wednesday.

Reston-based WashingtonFirst is among the first local privately held banks to announce a TARP capital infusion. The capital was first offered to publicly held banks.

“Participation in this program will enhance the ability of WashintonFirst to meet the credit needs of its community and to advance its strategic plan to extend its presence in the metro region,” said Shaza Andersen, chief executive officer in a statement.

Translation: Money fight!

This Week A While Back in Crime: Even Lower than a DRB member looking at pastel paint swatches

While we were fixated on the various and sundry bank robberies and attempted assaults that have plagued Reston this month, it turns out we missed a couple of other incidents -- and the perpertrators are the lowest of the low, what with their robbing mothers with toddlers and senior citizens.

Woman Robbed While Walking With Child, 2
A 19-year-old Reston woman and her 2-year-old son were walking from a nearby store to an apartment in the 11800 block of Breton Court on Jan. 3 when they were reportedly robbed. At about 6:35 p.m. the woman was approaching the building and was grabbed from behind by a man who took her purse and fled on foot. No injuries were reported. The man was described as Hispanic, about 30 years old, 5 feet 9 inches tall and 160 pounds with black hair. He wore a brown, hooded jacket, blue jeans and a blue baseball cap.

Man Assaults Woman, 65, Steals Purse
A 65-year-old Reston woman was robbed on Jan. 9 when she was walking in the 1700 block of Wainwright Drive. A man approached the woman and grabbed her from behind. He knocked her to the ground, took her purse and fled on foot. The suspect was described as white, about 25 years old, about 5 feet 11 inches tall and 160 pounds with brown eyes. He wore a black, hooded sweatshirt and a black ski mask with white trim.

Nice. Why not just mug a 65-year-old woman in a wheelchair strolling a baby in a walker and be done with it?

The Not-So-Great Compromise: RA Dues Up $16

In a stellar barrage of statesmanship and deal-making sure to be analyzed by students of political science for centuries to come, the Reston Association came to an awesome compromise over 9 lousy bucks per household in assessment dues.

More than a year ago, when the Reston Association set its budget for 2008 and 2009, the annual "assessment" due from residents was to rise from $475 in 2008 to $483 this year. However, with a budget shortfall projected due to the current economic downturn, the rate would have had to rise to $500 to keep all other expectations on track.

After long debate at a meeting on Dec. 18, the Reston Association Board voted to compromise, and raised the assessment to $491. A two-thirds vote was required and the motion passed, with a 6-3 vote.

THE ASSOCIATION is anticipating revenue losses on a number of fronts, president Robin Smyers explained in a later interview. Subsidies from the federal Department of Housing and Urban Development for the Hunters Woods and Lake Anne Fellowship Houses and the Tall Oaks assisted living facility are to fall by $57,300. The association is anticipating less of a payoff from its investments than it expected a year ago. Also, falling real estate assessments mean more households will qualify for the Reston Association’s reduced rate, and a rising number of foreclosures could impact collection of the dues.

IN THE END, the $491 assessment was passed and the "R&R" reserve funds will take the hit.

"It’s not the full boat, but it’s a compromise," Mark Watts (At Large) said, agreeing that some increase was needed in order to keep the association functioning while still being sensitive to its members’ financial situations. "If we’re going to sacrifice something, it’s got to be the R&R, though that pains me to the 10th degree."

Guess we should be happy that the compromise didn't include a South Reston house counting as 3/5th of a North Reston one.

We Get Letters: Busted Buy?

Jason writes in with a question:

Any idea why the Best Buy was closed yesterday [Sunday] and is opening late today? A sign on the door said that it was closed due to unforeseen circumstances and that all other Best Buys were open as usual.

As fond as we are of the nearby Macaroni Grill, we've not heard anything about problems at the Best Buy. Anyone heard anything? Let us know in the comments.

UPDATE: Sounds like it was the old busted-water-pipe-means-we-don't-have-to-honor-the-extended-service-plan ploy. We should have known!

Inauguration 2009: Yes We Can't

Since all the bridges from Virginia will be closed to keep the riffraff out of DC during the inauguration, here's our tribute to Reston's own Dear Leader. Posting will resume sometime after traffic returns to normal, which should be no later than 2013.

Reston: Gone to the Dogs

The Place Called Reston phone book showed up at Restonian World Headquarters the other day, and this photo on the cover shows yet another benefit of living in the "city of trees": The roving packs of feral dogs ready to dive into the water at an instant's notice in hopes of finding a submersed Snosage.

Reston's Vibrant Economy Part 33: A Different Kind of Outsourcing

You know how some companies rely on employees from India, where that friendly guy named "Bob" on the other end of the line when you call Tech Support is getting paid something like 1 rupee a day? One Reston company's doing the same thing, only in West Virginia.

Gov. Joe Manchin and Laila Rossi, CEO of Platinum Solutions, announced Tuesday the Reston, Virginia software development company and defense contractor is expanding its operations in Bridgeport.

The company plans to hire at least 80 people by July 2009, with additional expansion possible in the next five years, to help it meet the requirements for a recently awarded federal agency contract.

“This is great news for West Virginia as we continue to diversify our economy with technology-sector jobs and employers, particularly in this part of the state,” says Manchin.

The positions they are seeking will include software developers, engineers, system administrators, computer analysts and information technology project managers. Rossi said most jobs will pay between $30,000 and $150,000 and will include a full benefits package. They hope to start hiring immediately.

To be sure, $150,000 will go a lot further out there, despite the conspicuous lack of Macaroni Grills and whatnot to spend it on. You might even be able to afford a house without wheels!

This Week in Crime Lawful Behavior: Underage drinking sting goes horribly, horribly right

That awesome McLovin fake ID Reston teenagers drove all the way to Georgetown to get apparently will do them no good.

On Wednesday, January 14, officers of the Reston District Station’s Neighborhood Patrol Unit conducted business compliance checks at several locations in the Reston and Herndon areas of Fairfax County. This sting is part of the ongoing youth alcohol enforcement campaign which was conducted using a Fairfax County police cadet dressed in plain clothes attempting to purchase alcohol. The police cadet was instructed to enter the locations and attempt to purchase alcoholic beverages and then attempt payment.

Twenty-two locations were entered with no arrests made for illegal sale of alcohol to a minor The sting was conducted using one team consisting of two plain-clothed officers, two uniformed officers, and one cadet.

Five police officers? Don't they know there's a MAJOR CRIME WAVE going on?

This Week in Crime: This is starting to get old

Either there's one really prolific ne'er do well out there, or we're in the throes of another MAJOR CRIME WAVE requiring the indiscriminate use of all caps in blog posts. Either way, there was another armed robbery/burglary attempt on Sycamore Valley Drive, across Reston Parkway from the Town Center, on Wednesday.

Police are investigating an attempted burglary that occurred on Wednesday, January 14 in the 1800 block of Sycamore Valley Drive in Reston. Around 6 a.m. a 29-year-old woman was leaving her apartment when she was surprised by a man at her door. The suspect brandished a gun and tried to force his way into her apartment. The victim fought back and was able to shut her door, locking the suspect outside. The victim did not require medical treatment.

The suspect was described as black, about 6 feet tall and 190 pounds with a thin build. He was wearing athletic-type, dark pants, a gray jacket and a black ski cap that covered his face.

Wow. Between the bank robberies and the robberies, it's getting to be a busy January out there.

Treepocalypse Now: The word 'makeover' makes it sound cute!

So the Washington Post finally figured out that people in Reston, the "city of trees," don't cotton to folks cutting them down. By way of proof that the ongoing stream restoration project is a Troubling Thing, they ran the picture above under a headline about a "makeover," which made us think we were reading the Style section. We're really not sure what the big deal is. Forests spontaneously thin themselves out to create giant dead zones all the time! Biologists call them "nature's parking lots." That orangish thing near the back of the shot that looks to untrained eyes like a piece of heavy construction equipment is actually a well-camouflaged rhododendron bush.

So, really, what are folks upset about?

Work began last year on the long-planned project to reverse years of damage and pollution caused by development. But residents said they were stunned in the fall when Wetland Studies and Solutions, the Gainesville company in charge, began using heavy construction equipment to reshape sections of stream and take down some of the community's signature mature hardwoods.

The project has been approved by the county, the Virginia Department of Environmental Quality and the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. However, the Fairfax Board of Supervisors and two state lawmakers asked this month for another review from county and state environmental experts in response to the residents' concerns.

Chris Koerner, an environmental consultant who lives in Reston but not near the restoration site, said the Reston Association could achieve better results with a lighter touch, removing trees selectively and using smaller, more precise equipment. The heavy equipment compresses the soil, he said, making it difficult for young trees to take root and grow.

The result of the work is more reminiscent of a manicured park than a natural stream, Koerner said.

"You sort of think you're on a golf course," Koerner said.

And what exactly is wrong with golf courses? Last time we checked, Reston had a few of those, and you don't see anyone up in arms about them.

This Week in Crime: Assault near South Lakes High School not committed by Bratz

Despite the "concerns" of those folks who bankrolled a frivolous six-figure lawsuit about band programs, the students aren't the problem at South Lakes High School. It's everyone else.

A 17-year-old Reston boy was robbed at gunpoint on Monday, January 12. The victim was on a path around 8 p.m. near South Lakes High School, located at 11400 South Lakes Drive, and saw five men walking toward him on the path. As he passed by, one of them reportedly pushed him to the ground while another suspect pointed a gun at him and ordered him to stay down. They took his backpack and cellular phone then all of the suspects fled on foot. The victim did not require medical attention.

The suspects were described as black, in their late teens to early 20s and between 5 feet 10 inches and 6 feet 2 inches tall. One of them was about 6 feet tall, 170 pounds and wore a green sweater. Another suspect was about 5 feet 10 inches tall, 150 pounds and wore a black, puffy jacket and winter hat.

The alleged assailants are apparently too old to be students, though we suppose they could be disgruntled alumni of Oakton's band program. All we know is that along with acrobatic bank robbers, there's been a spate of armed robberies of late. Well, if "two" counts as a "spate."

Who Wants Bacon?

Reston Ebola, the disease so nice they named it after a planned real estate development, has now claimed the lives of 70 pigs in the Philippines. And in the name of "science," instead of in the name of "rich savory bacon," as the Good Lord* intended.

International and domestic animal health experts slaughtered 70 pigs at an undisclosed hog farm here today as part of the mission to conduct epidemiological investigation on the recently discovered ebola reston virus (ERV) in hog farms here and Pangasinan.

The slaughtered pigs were later buried.

Good to know. Otherwise that would be gross.

* Results may vary by religion.

A brief but informative look ahead at 2009 (just 13 days late!)

And we thought we were late with our 2008 year-end wrapup! The folks at the Connection managed to get off their duffs and list some significant things that just might happen in Reston in 2009, a shocking 6/365th of the way through the year. (Of course, it took us another 7 days to post it, but hey--we're just lazy bloggers.) Among their predictions:

Five years of planning for Lake Anne Village Center will culminate this year with a final plan.

Oh, right -- the one that will turn Reston into Midtown Manhattan. Too bad the global economy will likely keep anyone from being able to finance any giant high-rises, complete with TGI Fridays and whatnot on the ground floor, in the middle of the Village Center parking lot. Next?

Stream restoration to continue?

Not if a web site has anything to do with it, it won't.

Construction of the Nature House should be complete in early fall of this year.

Unless Earl the Squirrel goes on a tequila and mauve paint fume-fueled bender and pulls a "stream restoration" on the building, if you get our drift. Anything else?

Reston is now the first unincorporated locality in the country to have a master plan for art.

The article points out, without irony, that one of the initial suggestions for new public art would be at the site of the newly napalmed restored Snakeden watershed. We're thinking Guernica, only with more earth tones.

A slew of possible amendments regarding the Reston Center for Industry and Government (RCIG) will be considered by a special study group.

Honestly, we tried to stay awake for this one, but it's late and all we could glean from the article is that it means that unless something happens involving "bylaws" and a "vote," no one will ever be allowed to live anywhere near the new Metro stations along the Toll Road under pain of excommunication by the RA, the end.

This Week in Crime: It's official

So, the South Lakes Village Center BB&T bank was robbed on Friday, after all. And while we're no CSI types, the surveillance camera photos sure look a lot like the previous, highly athletic suspect:

A 52-year-old Ashburn woman working as a teller at the BB&T Bank located at 11100 South Lakes Drive was robbed, on Friday, January 9. Shortly before 6 p.m., a man produced a handgun and demanded money. An undisclosed amount of cash was handed over and nobody was injured. The suspect fled on foot through a pedestrian tunnel that crosses under South Lakes Drive.

The suspect was described as black; about 5 feet 7 inches tall with a thin build. He was wearing a black, hooded jacket, tan pants, white tennis shoes, a knit hat and a scarf covering his face.

Escaped through the tunnel? Memo to law enforcement: We know where that tunnel winds up -- the other freakin' side of South Lakes Drive.

That is all.

Flashback Monday: 2001: A Taste Odyssey

Ground control to Major Simon!

Too plastic to sit upon comfortably and too far away from the table to place a drink or plate of cocktail weenies without cracking your knees, this futuristic set of chairs wasn't salvaged from the first-class cabin of the first Concorde to ply the Paris-Washington route, but rather the interior of one of the Hickory Cluster townhomes. But let us not merely mock the mustard yellow and earth-toned color scheme. Let's actually try to learn something!

When Hickory Cluster was designed in 1962-63, Charles M. Goodman, FAIA (1906-1992) had already achieved national prominence for his modern residential designs and subdivision planning. For nearly two decades, he had worked tirelessly to promote modern architecture in a wide variety of building types, and most particularly in his custom homes and residential communities.

Goodman was a prolific innovator, believing that "…the techniques of modern history can serve man's need for beauty as well as, or even better than, the ancient art of handcraft." From his early explorations of simplified wood detailing and structural systems to his later experiments with prefabricated components in wood, aluminum and concrete, he consistently sought to utilize new and improved building materials and construction assemblies.

Hickory Cluster emerged from the fertile mind of an architect who was unabashedly modern in his creative sensibilities - one who wished to use these talents to enhance the life of those who would experience his buildings and communities. As he once so poignantly noted: "To create surroundings conducive to renewal of the individual spirit is perhaps the highest goal of architecture."

Hmm. Perhaps some individual spirits are best left unrenewed.

This Week in Crime: Unsubstantiated Rumor Department

So, we haven't seen any official confirmation of this, but we keep hearing the BB&T bank at South Lakes Village Shopping Center got held up on Friday. Of course, we could pick up the phone and do that thing they call "reporting," but it's late and we're sleepy. Frankly, we're a bit skeptical, considering how infrequently Reston-area banks have been robbed of late.

In the spirit of something resembling journalistic balance, here's a confirmed robbery that actually did happen last week:

A 23-year-old Reston man was robbed on Monday, January 5 shortly before 7 p.m. in the 11100 block of Saffold Way. The victim parked his car and was walking toward his home when a man approached, produced a handgun and demanded money. The victim had no cash, but eventually handed over his coat and cellular telephone and was not injured. The suspect fled on a red bicycle.

A red bicycle? If you see this man, be sure to dial 911:

Reston's Vibrant Economy Part 32: Footloose and Fancy-Free

After moving its headquarters from Reston to corn fritter-intensive Kansas, Sprint Netxel has laid off 160 people from its Herndon building because, hey, who needs high-speed wireless access from their fancy phones when you can't even get a decent signal for a voice call?

The layoffs will come from staff at Sprint's building that operates laboratories and offices for its former WiMax brand Xohm. Xohm merged with Clearwire of Kirkland, Wash., in November in a $12 billion deal that involved investments from Google, Intel and cable operators Comcast, Time Warner and Bright House. While most of the assets were transferred to Clearwire in the merger, Sprint retained employees and operations at its Xohm building.

Sprint said that after the merger, some employees were offered jobs at Sprint and some at Clearwire; the layoffs will come from the remaining employees. The job cuts will take effect in late March, the company said.

Spokesman Rich Pesce said operations at the Herndon building will be "scaled back." He did not say which jobs will be eliminated and if any former Xohm employees will remain at the Herndon Xohm building.

But never fear! Reston's economy is dynamic and full of entrepreneurs just ready to pounce on the Next Big Idea and smother its face in the 1970s shag carpeting. Metaphorically speaking, of course. There's that whole business with the pirates, and now there's Koofers.com, which is bringing the fancy, wheelbarrows-o-money-making "Web 2.0" paradigm all the kids are talking about these days to helping college kids cheat on tests.

Koofers.com is the brainchild of Glynn LoPresti, Michael Rihani and Patrick Gartlan, graduates of Virginia Tech, where the term "koofers" was coined in the 1940s. The three launched the site 18 months ago and have seen business flourish, allowing them to set up shop this fall in an office in tech-heavy Reston.

The site works like this: Students log on to the site for free. Once there, they can either upload old tests, quizzes and study guides onto the site, or search for ones already there. Students also can critique courses and professors, or view grades given in a course they are planning to take.

"We are absolutely concerned about academic integrity," said LoPresti, 35, the company's chief executive officer, when asked if viewing koofers was considered academically honest. "I've been asked is this is the end of the world of academics," the Ashburn resident added. "We don't help people cheat ... All we want is a level playing field for all students."

Sweet. Maybe we'll find a test for the Blogging 101 course we're currently taking.

Treepocalypse Now: Stay of Execution

Doesn't that sound like an awesome title for the next Steven Segal movie? Anyhoo, it turns out the continuing deforestation of Reston's sylvan streambeds has been temporarily put on hold by the Design Review Board. What, where there not enough cases involving window trim painted an improper shade of taupe to keep them busy?

The Reston Association Design Review Board Tuesday night deferred a decision on continuing the ongoing stream restoration project into reaches 1 through 3 of the Glade stream until January after listening to more than three hours of public comment, most of it opposed to the project.

The board said it will review Wetland Studies and Solutions Inc.'s application again at its next full board meeting [on Jan. 27].

Board member Michael Miller said he believed the project was necessary. "Reston was farmland not that many years ago," he said. "I'm tired of the glass being half empty." Miller said he wanted residents to think of the glass half full because the project will improve the streams in Reston. After increased community concern during the past few weeks, Miller said he believes that Wetland Studies understands the need to be more sensitive.

"Nature is an ever-changing thing," Miller said. He said they have a responsibility to repair the damage that has been created by the development of Reston.

In other words, when you sit in your fancy "sunken" living room, gazing out at the sylvan forest beyond your carport, the trees that are being cut down now are dying for your sins. But hey, happy Friday!

Metro Silver Line: Just completely forget about clapping, because it's really absolutely, positively, surely gonna happen*

* Unless it doesn't.

But with the new hopetastic administration just a few days from taking power, apparently U.S. Transportation Secretary Mary Peters took a few minutes away from packing up boxes and her "World's Greatest Bureaucrat" coffee mug to catch up on her paperwork.

U.S. Transportation Secretary Mary Peters gave the final federal seal of approval to plans to extend Metrorail to Dulles International Airport last night, ensuring that the $5.2 billion project can move forward without restrictions.

Yesterday's news marks what state, local and congressional boosters said is the government's irreversible approval of the project.

"It's an exhilarating feeling," said Virginia Gov. Timothy M. Kaine (D), who praised Peters and Northern Virginia's congressional delegation for working together to keep the rail line alive. "It's going to be a wonderful project for the whole region."

Peters's action releases the project to Congress for a 60-day comment period. After that, the project qualifies for a $900 million federal transit grant that state, local and congressional leaders have said is essential to its success.

Once the money has been released, the remaining work can proceed unfettered by federal regulatory limitations. Before last night's action, federal regulators gave project managers incremental permission to order rail cars and begin utility relocation work in Tysons Corner. But the money for that work had to come from nonfederal sources.

Sweet! We've said it before, we'll say it again: We look forward to that sunny day in 2013 2015 2020 whenever when we'll be able to board a shiny new Metro car at Wiehle Avenue and get 300 yards closer to Tysons before a track fire forces us to evacuate and hitch a ride home on the Toll Road.

This Week Last Year in Crime: To Catch a Predator, Reston Style

This is almost too gross for words.

On Dec. 4, in an incident that easily could have been an episode of Dateline's “To Catch a Predator” TV series, Fairfax Police arrested a Reston man who allegedly was ready to pay for sex with an 11-year-old girl.

Of course, Craigslist is a legitimate, respectable business which would never condone activities like this being advertised. Which is why we felt perfectly safe searching for "Reston" in its personals section. Big mistake.

9 INCHES FATTER THN UR WRIST! - m4w - 39 (RESTON ASHBURN)

Really big mistake.

This Week in Crime: Soapstone 7-11 Robbed Again

Someone attempted to rob the Soapstone Drive 7-11 for the third time since October, but this guy's cunning plan was foiled at the last instant by a highly unlikely freak occurrence that no one could have anticipated: a customer showed up.

A 34-year-old Reston woman and a 61-year-old Sterling man working as clerks at the 7-Eleven store located at 2203 Soapstone Drive were robbed. A man entered the store shortly after 11 p.m. on Tuesday, January 6, produced a handgun and demanded money. Before the clerks could respond, a customer drove into the parking lot and the would-be thief fled without taking anything. The victims were not injured.

The suspect was described as black, 5 feet 2 to 5 feet 5, with a thin build. He was wearing a black, hooded sweatshirt, blue jeans, white sneakers and a black mask covering his face.

You know, once they finish napalming the trees along the stream beds near the 7-11 and making parking illegal forever and building those new-fangled sidewalks, maybe the folks at the 7-11 will be able to see the robbers coming.

Flashback Monday, Mauve-Colored Memories: A Belated Look Back at 2008

Whoops! Apparently it's 2009 already, which means we got so wrapped up in reading Reston's instruction manual that we missed our second annual roundup of the year just passed. So in case you got an exit visa and managed to spend part of 2008 in an area without DRBs or Macaroni Grills, here's our informative look back. It was... a.... very... mauve year.

* For a “city of trees,” the mauve, oxygen-creating monsters sure have a whole bunch of enemies, including the gas company and the RA itself, which also likes to addle geese for fun and profit. Our treepocalypse was even mocked by what those cultural elitists like to sneeringly call "art." Fortunately, a well-written Web site can always help save the environment, particularly if people print out several thousand copies. Just don’t walk in whatever paltry patches of forest still remain, or the copperheads will kill you.

* Who cares about real estate values cratering when you’ve got awesome realty tactics like fire sales fiendishly clever auctions and ”price improvements” and spastically dancing open house signs? The scary thing? It seems to have kinda sorta worked.

* Even as the global economy imploded, Reston found awesome new business models for our post-consumer, brigand-intensive economy, even as one of its biggest employers lighted out for the territories. Reston Town Center got some shiny new buildings marked by pagan rituals and stores and those Google thingies the kids keep talking about. Just pay no attention to the hobo encampment across the street.

* While Bratz may rule the schoolz and the poolz, they don’t rule the courtz. Also: a tattered copy of Dickens and $135,000 is no substitute for a valid legal argument, or a clue for that matter.

* Reston’s officially the 37th most awesome place ever, plus a great place to retire, largely because of its preponderance of old nerds. So why are we all full of trepidation?

* During our MAJOR CRIME WAVE, we had athletic crooks. We had criminals who were closet Monty Python fans. We had criminals who wandered around in wetsuits and wigs. We had criminals who tried to steal dogs, and others who tried to make a fast buck selling illegal fish hypothalmuses or betraying our country, not to mention some real white collar criminals. We had others who got spooked by the sound of their own cellphone. And, 9 times out of 10, they all run off into the woods. But none of them have the street cred of these boyz. They must have played with Bratz when they were younger.

* Massive irregularities plagued our “election” in the fall. Fortunately we had observers from that other bastion of democracy to help sort everything out.

* Another Reston blog and one of those old-fashioned paper things people used to read before blogs, but also with Marmaduke, both shut their doors.

* Metro’s shiny new Silver Line might actually happen fer real, kids.

* 2008 was the Year of the Sidewalk and the Light Bulb. It’ll take the rest of the area decades to catch up with these crazy innovations!

* Earl the Squirrel lives. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

* We had one Olympic champion to cheer for. No, not that one.

* Reston kept Spreadin’ the Love to the rest of the world, exporting our noxious monkey viruses. But the real proof that we’re doing something right? Canadians hate us. And so do folks in Loudoun County.