This Week in Crime: The Usual Creepy Suspects

Nothing like a nice early-morning Sunday stroll through the greenery of Reston, topped off by a little indecent exposure.

A man exposed himself to a 37-year-old Reston woman on Sunday, May 25. The victim was walking on Olde Crafts Drive near South Lakes Drive around 5:30 a.m. A man rode up on his bicycle and offered to carry her bag. She declined and continued walking to a bus stop. The man followed and parked across the street. He exposed himself and began masturbating. The victim called police and he fled.

The suspect was described as Hispanic, between 20 to 25 years old. He was approximately 5 feet 3 inches tall and 130 to 150 pounds. He wore a blue and white, striped shirt and faded blue jeans.

That almost never happens in Reston!

We Get Letters: If a Starbucks Opens in the Middle of a Giant, Does Anyone Hear the Latte Machine?

Sean weighs in with one of those if-a-tree-falls-in-the-middle-of-the-forest questions:

I have a question that I feel only you can solve or explain. The North Point Giant is completing a major renovation which will include a Starbucks within the store. However, there is already a Starbucks within the North Point Village Center less than 50 yards from Giant. My question is why are there going to be two Starbucks so close to each other? Is the stand alone Starbucks closing?

We visited said Giant earlier in the week, and the Mini-Starbucks inside is now fully operational, generating a constant stream of foamy beverages for its clientele. So, too, is the regular Starbucks that's about 50 feet away. So what's the difference? Does the original one, with its abundant outdoor seating, cater to North Reston's idle flaneurs, while its smaller sibling serves the diaspora of Giant's former Tall Oaks clientele, so pressed by the added drive time that they don't have time for the full-service experience whilst picking up their Super G cola? Is one store the vente store and the other one the grande store? Do they both have the same watered-down, has-been CDs on offer, or do they split the lame jazz vs. lame pop aficionados?

We have no answers. Just more questions, an endless Mobius strip of lifestyle-branded drinks, stucco facades and earth tones. Mostly earth tones, though. Mostly earth tones.

Meet Your Neighbors: Big Dreams in the Big City (or at least Herndon)

So, when they're not busy attending informative conferences or worrying about finding a place to park at the 7-11, what do folks in Herndon do?

They eat strawberries. Lots and lots of strawberries.

Despite competitive eater Ian “The Invader” Hickman's great successes, he says he still feels he has some unfinished business when it comes to strawberries.

Having previously competed twice and finishing no better than third place at the annual National Strawberry Eating Championship in Delaplane, Hickman would love nothing more than to win this coveted title for his home state of Virginia and finally add strawberries to his long list of eating titles.

"This event is in Virginia, it's my house," Hickman, 25, declares."The sweetness of these delicious strawberries can only be fully realized when a Virginian brings the title home where it belongs.”

Last year's champion ate 9 pounds of strawberries in seven minutes.

Hickman, a Herndon resident who stands at 5 feet 11 inches tall and weighs only 165 pounds, has established several world records and captured several national eating titles since he started competing in 2005 at the age of 22. His accomplishments include downing 10 pounds of chili in only five minutes, capturing the National ¼ lb. Hot Dog Eating Championship, and grabbing the World Black & White Cookie Eating Championship.

A billing consultant with Booz Allen Hamilton, Hickman says he generally attends one or two contests a month and particularly likes to win those within driving distance from his Herndon home.

So how, you may ask, are dreams born? Basic cable.

Hickman said he first became interested in becoming a competitive eater after watching actor John Candy eat a huge steak in the movie "The Great Outdoors," and later consumed his own 64-ounce porterhouse in a Lexington, Ky., steakhouse that offered the meal free to anyone who could finish it in less than 45 minutes. Hickman ate the steak – along with a side and a salad – in only 19 minutes.

"That's when I knew I might have talent as a competitive eater," he said.

You, too, can dream big. Really big.

This Week in Crime: And that was before he walked across the street and ordered dinner at McCormick and Schmicks

A Maryland man was robbed at gunpoint across the street from Reston Town Center on Friday night.

Police said the 47-year-old victim was walking across a parking lot in the 11700 block of Stratford House Place with a friend at about 9:45 p.m. when a man approached and pointed a gun at him.

The man ordered the victim to give up his wallet, and the victim handed the robber an undisclosed amount of money, police said.

The robber walked away, and no one was injured.

The robber is described as white, 16 to 18 years old, about 5 feet 10 inches tall and weighing 170 pounds. He was wearing baggy jeans, a dark, multicolored, hooded jacket and a dark baseball cap.

Don't they all?

Macaroni Grill Death Watch, Part 3: 'Approval Does Not Mean Immediate Redevelopment' (Translation: Keep the Breadsticks Coming!)

As expected, the Fairfax County Planning Commission formally approved plans to redevelop the Reston Spectrum shopping center into an awesome Macaroni Grill-free zone.

The proposed redevelopment plan, as outlined in a county staff report released May 8, will include the gradual removal and rebuilding of the existing Spectrum shopping center, currently the site of Best Buy, Barnes & Noble, Citibank and other retail businesses.

It's like there's a vast, left-wing media conspiracy to leave out the name of the most important Spectrum tenant of all. (Hint: overflowing pasta bowls) But don't tear up that call-ahead card on your refrigerator just yet!

According to attorney Mark Looney with Cooley, Godward and Kronish, Lerner Enterprises--the owner of the center--does not have immediate plans for the redevelopment.

"The approval of this plan at this point in time does not result in an immediate redevelopment of the property," Looney told planners at the May 21 public hearing.

Sweet! Of course, there's always got to be someone who's not down with the family-friendly combination of large, carb-intensive plates and reasonable prices:

Reston resident Heidi Keusenkothen, the only person to speak against the redevelopment at the public hearing, said that she did not believe it fell in line with Reston founder Robert E. Simon's concept for Reston.

"He planned this community because he was tired of the congestion in New York," she said. "You are taking away an area that my family and I enjoy and use every weekend. Just because this was part of an original plan for Reston doesn't mean it is the right thing to do now."

After her testimony, Hunter Mill Commissioner Frank de la Fe immediately contradicted Keusenkothen, saying that Simon in fact supports the redevelopment. "I encourage you to read and live Reston," he said.

Oh, snap! We'll be sure to add that to our upcoming hardcover book, A Children's Treasury of Planning Commission Putdowns.

Redistricting Fever: July 3 Will Be Their Independence Day, Assuming Bill Pullman Is Available

Hey, remember that time when that awesome, pro-public school group FairfaxCAPS decided that the best way to educate troubled students from such impoverished neighborhoods as Oakton Heights, where some houses have slipped below the $750,000 poverty-line threshold, was to sue Fairfax County Schools to keep those students from being subjected to such indignities as a bus ride up and down the rolling hills of their marginal neighborhoods to South Lakes High School, where they would have the flag pins yanked from their lapels and be forced to play with Bratz dolls and drink fluoridated water and whatnot?

Well, the district's attorneys have responded to the suit, arguing it has -- get this -- no merit! Their kids must go to Langley or something, unlike the selfless public servants representing FairfaxCAPS, who are doing God's work in return for only a mere share of the proceeds from Indian takeout. In any event, they provided a 63-point response to FairfaxCAPS' right-thinking petition (PDF). Apparently the first 61 points were dead on, because only the last two seemed to rankle the group:

* “62 All of the claims alleged in the Petition fail because the court lacks jurisdiction to review the School Board’s decision to adjust school attendance boundaries.”
* “63 All of the claims alleged in the Petition fail because Petitioners lack standing to challenge the School Board’s decision to adjust school attendance boundaries.”

In other words, the school board believes it can do whatever it wants. No checks and balances. No board of appeals. No oversight. They claim unchecked powers — powers not even granted the President of the United States.

Ummm... we're not saying the school board has behaved perfectly during this entire uneventful season, but have these folks picked up a newspaper lately? Oh, wait -- that's the vice president. Never mind.

In any event, the awesome court date is July 3... THEIR INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Tall Oaks Shopping Center Parking Lot Overflows; Also Hell Freezes Over

This box of Japanese Choco ThinThin "chocolate for girls," as noted on the oddly inappropriate baby-blue packaging, were the spoils of our investigative journey to the new Fresh World Supermarket in Tall Oaks Shopping Center this weekend. During one of our rare expeditions out of the secure undisclosed location from which we do our "reporting," we saw such wonders as live eels and crabs in a seafood section that looks more like an aquarium than a grocery store, seaweed soup packets that proudly proclaimed they "contain no sand," and -- most shocking and out of place of all -- the parking lot bordering Tall Oaks' stucco wasteland filled to beyond overflowing.

The clientele would probably worry the black T-shirt crowd or our enlightened neighbors to the west, but Fresh World appears to be doing what Giant couldn't -- packing them in. Now if that golf shop would just open, we could get a new set of clubs and wrap live eels around them for some real fun on the greens!

Not Quite as Cute as a Heartwarming Story About Puppies, But Still....

When was the last time you heard someone name their puppy after a planned real estate development?

The black rosecomb rooster that walked into Janie Owen's Somerville backyard seven years ago, crowed from a magnolia tree, and immediately started keeping watch over her cat suddenly disappeared on May 7, leaving the 57-year-old woman and many neighbors desperate for his return.

"I miss him; we all miss him," Owen said of the bird she named Reston, after the Virginia town where her parents live. "He's a good bird. He's a member of the family, a member of the whole neighborhood. We want him back."

Awwww. You've got to admit: Calling a rooster Dranesville wouldn't have quite the same ring to it.

Macaroni Grill Death Watch Continues: Spectrum Plan Recommended for Approval, Despite Palpable Lack of Breadsticks

The awesome redevelopment of the Spectrum shopping complex adjacent to the Reston Town Center was given a green light by county staff, meaning all that's standing between us and the end of the Macaroni Grill is a Fairfax County Planning Commission meeting on May 21.

The bad news? The conspicuous absence of breadsticks in the current site plan. The good news? A development much more in keeping with the awesome sterile medium-box retail of Reston Town Center, as opposed to the sterile, big-box retail of, say, Sterling.

A mixed-use development will replace the southern section, where Best Buy is located, with two high-rise apartment buildings along Bowman Towne Drive and two nonresidential high-rises along New Dominion Parkway. All four buildings could be as high as 180 feet, the equivalent of 15 stories.

Construction of 790,000 square feet of nonresidential uses, including some retail, is also proposed. A minimum of 5,251 parking spaces would be provided.

Sweet! We like tall buildings; we walk around Reston's fake downtown pretending we're in New York City, minus the cabs and the streetlife and the mass transit and the personality. But hey -- we've got more Container Stores (1), at least per capita.

But we digress. We've also learned more about the north end of the project:

Two residential towers are also planned for the northern part of the proposal, in the section currently housing the Harris Teeter grocery store.

Those two residential towers would be a maximum height of 120 feet tall. Harris Teeter would remain and possibly expand into the current Office Depot building, increasing the size of the grocery store from 56,000 square feet to 84,000 square feet.

We'll miss the surly, indifferent attitude of the Office Depot staff, that's for sure. No breadsticks for them.

Overall, the project includes two office buildings, seven new residential structures and one building that could be an office or hotel. The project would also create new, internal, privately owned east/west streets and eight “open-air public and private plazas.”

“I am pleased that the county recommends approval of this project,” Looney said Monday. “We were uncertain for a while that staff would ultimately make a recommendation for approval.”

Why's that? Just because some of the plazas were originally going to be hermetically sealed off from the public? Sour grapes, we say -- or maybe sour breadsticks.

Freedom's Just Another Word (For Reston Town Center)

Building on March's awesome anti-war protests held across the street from Reston Town Center (tm) and its global symbol of American hegemony, the imperialistic, warmongering Pizzeria Unos, a national anti-war conference will be held within the confines of a certain planned development bankrolled by a giant petrochemical conglomerate by the name of Gulf Oil. (Hint: Reston).

While attending sessions with titles like “Imperial Crusades: The Corruption of U.S. Foreign Policy,” “Losing Liberty in the War on Terrorism" and "“From Empire and Intervention to Freedom and Republic,” we wonder if the libertarians who are sponsoring the Restoring the Republic conference will ponder the constraints placed upon property holders by homeowner's covenants and a nongovernmental entity that can slap liens on your property if you paint your gate the wrong freaking shade of mauve, or if they'll acknowledge the irony that the wonderful, non-threatening faux-urban landscape peppered with equally non-threatening chain retail that surrounds their conference was bankrolled by the same multinational petrochemical conglomerates that have led the nation on what they see as decades of foreign policy misadventures.

Probably they'll just babble on about Ron Paul instead. Could be worse, though. We'll take an anti-war conference over the convention trade plied by our neighbor to the west.

Redistricting Fever: And hot dogs for the kids!

Now that they've secured the finest legal team that advertises on the back cover of the Yellow Pages, how is FairfaxCAPS, the awesome, pro-school group that's currently suing Fairfax County schools to force it to re-redistrict elementary school students from Oakton, Vienna, Fox Mill and other decent, non-Bratz-intensive places out of South Lakes High School to somewhere where they won't have to sing the Internationale before getting their chocolate ration for the day, going to pay its bills?

Apparently quality Indian cuisine and Christmas ornaments aren't cutting it, because they've come up with some awesome new plans:

We have a booth at Viva Vienna on May 25th & 26th. Our goal is to reach a broader audience and spread the word about our mission.

Awesome! Will they have Stu Gibson in a dunking booth? But wait -- there's more!

Also, FairfaxCAPS is holding a raffle to support FairfaxCAPS advocacy efforts. We are blessed with generous friends who have donated some big ticket items for the raffle. We are asking members of the community to help support FairfaxCAPS by buying and selling tickets. We will sell tickets at Viva Vienna. In total, the prizes are valued at over $4000. Watch for the next email that will be the short list of prizes available. I promised that I would hold the announcement of the GRAND PRIZE. Shhhhhhh!....think sun, sand and water.

What, is it a spot at Langley High School? (Fun fact, by the way: the mascot at Langley, which was never ever ever in danger of being redistricted anywhere, is the Saxons... or should we say, the Anglo-Saxons?)

But we digress. Then there's this assessment of how FairfaxCAPS is doing:

FairfaxCAPS has received great reviews in newspapers and on online blogs for its efforts. We have some awesome goals for the next year.

Awesome? Where on earth would they have gotten that word?

Meanwhile, in the other anti-Reston: Imagine no religion (it's easy if you live in Columbia)

Those of us who've long followed Columbia, Reston's evil doppelganger to the north, with its awesome, almost-as-mauve planned communities, Satan Wood Drive, and a shopping mall which declared war on Christmas last winter, will hardly be shocked by the latest news from our fellow New Urbanists(tm):

The founders of Columbia were convinced that religion, like everything else in the planned community envisioned as a suburban utopia, should be harmonious and inclusive. So instead of a welter of churches all vying for space within the model township, the founders opted for interfaith centers.

Now, one congregation's plan to place a 16-foot cross on a new building at the town's oldest interfaith center in Wilde Lake Village has stirred an anxious response. Some guardians of local tradition see the cross as a challenge to the core values of Columbia.

"I think it's just wrong," said Robert Tennenbaum, a planner and architect who helped design Wilde Lake. "This is Columbia -- you are talking about a special place."

Too special for Baby Jesus? Apparently so!

The town's interfaith centers were another innovation. Instead of selling building sites to individual religious groups, the Rouse Co., which developed Columbia, made land available at a fraction of its market value to groups of at least two denominations that agreed to work together and build the centers.

Yet the ebb and flow of unity and separation between religions is a pattern woven through the centuries, said James Grubb, a professor of history at the University of Maryland Baltimore County. Sometimes entire denominations have moved toward mergers, only to split again.

"The Columbia experiment has done better than most, but after 40 years of ecumenism, I'm not surprised it's fragmenting," he said. "Ecumenism is often followed by identity politics -- people adhering to their differences."

We simply can't imagine that!

Tall Oaks Resurrected: Beef blood and golf clubs, the two great tastes that taste great together

With Tall Oaks awesome new Fresh World grocery store slated to open May 16, Reston residents got a behind-the-scenes look at how the international-themed store will begin a stucco-themed rebirth of the shopping center poorly signposted wasteland.

But first things first: Apparently, the awesome postcard campaign to win over Bloom wasn't a complete success:

Fresh World was selected to fill the space vacated by Giant in November, and Dallon Cheney, KLNB Retail's principal broker, explained why KLNB selected that store serve as the center's anchor rather than another grocery store. Cheney said although the community had requested that Bloom fill the space, the store turned them down. He said KLNB had been in negotiations with Fresh World at the same time.

Cheney said KLNB was very impressed with Fresh World's store in Springfield and they are confident that it will be a good addition to the community. He also said if the Reston store has the same sales as the Springfield location, they would be doing three times the business that Giant was doing and twice what a Bloom store would have done.

In your face, Bloom, with your handheld checkout scanners and your bleach-tainted pork chops and... whatnot! But what of the rest of the shopping center, which currently resembles a scene from the Dust Bowl of the 1930s, only with better parking and more stucco?

He said they have been speaking with many coffee shops and other similar businesses, but so far they have not had any luck. However, he said they plan to revisit many of those businesses after Fresh World opens.

Cheney said they have also been attempting to negotiate with banks, a yoga studio and a golf store, and prospects are good for the golf store. "We're feeling very optimistic," he said.

Yep... we just picked up a quart of pork blood and a new set of tees. Now watch this drive!

Reston's Vibrant Economy, Part 20: What's a million measly customers?

Sprint Nextel-N-Bob's Kansas-Style BBQ continues its downward slide into awesome right-sizedness, losing more than a million customers and $505 million as it whiled away the first three months of the year, forwarding each other repetitive Footloose-themed blog posts about its awesome headquarters relocation to Kansas and apparently letting more than a half billion dollar bills flutter away in a gentle spring breeze after someone accidentally left a window open or something.

We may not be sophisticated daytraders, but generally we know it's probably time to panic when analysts say things like this:

"This is a nightmare game of whack-a-mole where new problems keep popping up faster that you can address," said Bernstein analyst Craig Moffett.

But everything's gonna be fine, because they have, as they say in the movies, a plan:

Sprint, which acquired Reston-based Nextel Communications for $36 billion two years ago, may sell Nextel for a fraction of that price, according to one Wall Street analyst.

So here's the plan:

1. Buy failing telecom provider for $36 billion; watch its market value crater and sell for a pittance at the absolute bottom of the market
2. ???
3. Profit!!!

Another half-billion here, another million lost customers there, and they'll get Step 2 figured out.

Conceal-carry enthusiasts demonstrate their fundamental belief in gun rights, loaded potato skins

Picture a rocking Saturday night at Champps Americana in Plaza America, with a reasonably priced macrobrew in one hand, a fork groaning under the weight of a fried mozzarella strip in the other, and a handgun in your holster.

The patrons at Champps, an upscale restaurant and bar chain, were eating ribs and drinking beer on a recent Saturday when customer Bruce Jackson stood up and made an announcement: He was armed, and so were dozens of other patrons.

The armed customers stood up in unison, showing off holstered pistols and revolvers. Jackson said a word or two about the rights of gun owners to carry firearms in Virginia, then thanked everyone for their attention and sat down.

And the diners returned to their burgers and Budweisers.

All because of a Virginia law allowing gun owners to carry firearms in bars and restaurants that serve alcohol -- so long as the weapons are displayed openly. The General Assembly passed a law this year allowing gun owners to conceal their guns on their Friendly's runs, but the openly communistic Tim Kaine took time from his busy schedule of canoodling with BFF Margaret Peters to ensure the future of the awesome Silver Line to veto it. But enough of that boring politics stuff! How did fellow Restonians react to the announcement that their fellow patrons were packing heat?

At Champps, several patrons failed to notice that so many customers were armed, even though dozens of gun-toting men and women had walked right past them.

Tomas Nolasco of Reston said he hadn’t noticed the guns and didn’t care as long as they weren’t drinking. (They weren’t.) His wife was a little more concerned.

“There are families in here, children in here,” Cathy Nolasco said. “It bothers me.”

Brendan Fitzgerald of Reston and his friends noticed the guns immediately. They were curious but unconcerned.

“I’m just laughing because it’s totally unnecessary in my opinion,” Fitzgerald said, pointing to one individual who not only was armed but also had several clips of ammunition attached to his belt.

“This is Reston, not Southeast,” said his friend Nathan Dicken.

Just don't tell these folks that.

Fowl Play, or why does the RA hate cute furry feathered critters?

First, the Reston Association came for the gophers. Now they're doing something that, quite frankly, sounds like it might violate indecency statutes with the geese -- some perverted practice called "goose egg addling."

Addling is a term used for rubbing oil on eggs in an effort to keep them from hatching. It is widely done as a form of humane population control for resident Canada geese.

Geez, a pagan/phallic May pole ceremony here, a good old-fashioned goose addling there, and all of the sudden, Reston is starting to look like Berkeley, ca. 1969! You'd think the open-minded folk who first came to Reston during that storied decade would be all over that, but apparently not.

Dave Janiga of the Wildlife Rescue League said last week that he has fielded some phone calls from Reston residents who say they are concerned that the procedure is being done too late in the development cycle, and others who have witnessed Reston staff remove entire nests.

“My concern is that some people who live on Lake Audubon have seen nests that sit for long periods of time with eggs in them before they are attended to, and some told me they are seeing entire nests being removed by Reston Association staff. I am concerned that some of those eggs have developing geese in them and that they are removing the entire nests and destroying them from time to time,” he said.

What's good for the goose is... oh, never mind.

Meanwhile, in the Anti-Reston: Residents vote to preserve the sanctity of Big Gulps

In our tolerant neighbor to the west, Herndon residents re-elected virtually everyone involved in shutting down the day labor center, rewarding the town council for protecting their most precious bodily fluids, the 72-oz. Dr. Pibb Super Big Gulps from the Elden St. 7-11, and solving the nation's immigration problems forever and giving Lou Dobbs valuable talking points for his anti-immigrant screeds, which a grateful nation enjoys nightly.

Herndon voters reaffirmed their support yesterday for a mayor and Town Council that garnered national attention for closing down a job center for day laborers, saying it had become a magnet for illegal immigrants.

Voters reelected Mayor Stephen J. DeBenedittis and most of the incumbents on the six-member council, who were elected in 2006 amid outrage over the taxpayer-subsidized center. Council member J. Harlon Reece, who had initially supported the center and stepped down to challenge DeBenedittis, was succeeded by Richard F. Downer.

"Two years ago, people said that it was a fluke that we got in the way that we did," Vice Mayor Dennis D. Husch said. "This year, we had the exact same results. . . . I'm pleased the previous election was validated."

And how!

Metro Silver Line: No Money, No Tunnel, No Problem!

Now that Metro's awesome silver-plated, smoke-filled ride to Reston, Dulles and beyond is absolutely, positively going to happen (unless it doesn't), how are the Under, Not Over folks taking the recent turn of events?

Just swimmingly!

TysonsTunnel.org, the vocal grass-roots organization that has fought to place the proposed Metrorail stations at Tysons Corner underground, is out of money and has lost the support of its primary backer, the developer WestGroup.

Yet the organization will hold a rally May 19 to revive the debate and try to raise money, organizers said.

"TysonsTunnel and its tens of thousands of supporters will not throw in the towel," said the organization's founder, Scott Monett. "Northern Virginians who support TysonsTunnel want the commonwealth to fully explain why competitive bidding is unnecessary. We urge all TysonsTunnel supporters to come out May 19 to show that the fight still isn't over."

Remember how this group is supposedly a huge spontaneous grassroots effort by the tens of people who live in Tysons and consider themselves a part of its vibrant, Olive Garden-intensive lifestyle, as opposed to renting an apartment there for six months or so before fleeing from its soulless, life-destroying core? Well, the group's prime mover -- and it will shock you to learn it's a developer! -- threw in the towel a while back.

Without WestGroup, the future of TysonsTunnel.org is uncertain. The group has spent more than $3 million on marketing and advocacy -- most of it from WestGroup -- and collected more than 10,000 signatures in favor of a tunnel.

Which works out to $300 per signature. Hell, if some grassroots organizer developer wants to send us a check for $300, we'll go to the Bed Bath 'N' Beyond parking lot with an old spoon and start digging the frigging tunnel ourselves.

This Week in Crime: Like 'To Catch a Predator,' Only With More Earth Tones

In unrelated cases, two Reston residents have been involved in some pretty unsavory behavior.

A Reston man has pleaded guilty to charges related to his courtship of a 14-year-old girl who turned out to be Woodstock police officer Derek Good.

Meanwhile, another Reston resident was charged with not reporting an inappropriate cell phone photo of an underage girl. Someone call Dateline NBC.

Metro's Silver Line: Ask a silly question....

Did the federal government's shocking reversal on Metro's awesome Silver Line last week, after declaring the project all but dead back in January and badmouthing anyone even tangentially involved in backing the project except maybe for Earl, the guy who set up all the traffic cones with little flashing lights on top of them in Tysons, have anything to do with politics?

Yes.

This concludes today's installment of Ask a Silly Question About Metro's Silver Line. Next week, we'll tackle another stumper: If you smell smoke on the Metro, are the tracks on fire?

Meanwhile, in the Anti-Reston: Town Elections Show Shocking Diversity of Opinions (About Diversity)

Tuesday's Herndon Town Council elections aren't about such silly concepts as "hope" and "change." They're about preserving unfettered access to Super Big Gulps at the Elden Street 7-11.

Ky Truong looked out the window of the Herndon Shell station he manages at what he calls "a lot of problems": clusters of immigrant day laborers, who he says have been trampling his flower beds and bothering customers since September, when the town shuttered its controversial day-laborer hiring center. Truong wants it reopened.

But on the eve of Tuesday's municipal elections, the chance of that happening looks close to nil. Asked at a recent political forum if they would consider reopening the site if Fairfax County provided funding, 12 of 13 candidates for Town Council said no. The other said "absolutely not."

Yes, two years after the day labor center first started getting the attention of right-wing talk radio, ultimately prompting a vast uprising of irate 7-11 patrons that shuttered it, thereby solving the nation's immigration problems forever and giving some deep thinkers a place to hang their hats, people are still thinking about little else in our accepting neighbor to the west.

But day labor remains a divisive force that could influence the election. Council members who opposed the center boast of fulfilled promises and have raised doubts about challengers' pledges not to reopen it. Challengers talk of "reuniting" the town. Letters to local newspapers and online postings are consumed with the topic. If anything, some observers say, the issue has receded only because three years of debate has drawn deep, indelible battle lines.

All of the sudden, obsessing about indoor tennis courts doesn't seem so stupid after all.

This week on a very, very special 'Reston Heights': Pagan rituals mark opening of hotel, gates of hell

The first part of the awesome Reston Heights development, a high-end Westin Hotel, opened on May 1 with some sort of weirdly phallic celebration:

An elaborate maypole dance and ribbon-cutting ceremony is scheduled today for a Westin hotel in Reston.

A bit pagan for Reston, but maybe that's what prompted the Feds to mysteriously change their minds about Metro's awesome silver line!

John Schlichting, managing director of development for the JBG Cos., a Chevy Chase-based real estate firm that has made vast investments in properties along the proposed Metro line in Tysons and Reston, said in January that the rail project has such national importance that he refused to entertain the notion that it could die.

"We're not surprised at all," Schlichting said yesterday. "We're very happy about it, I'll tell you that." He said he did not know what had swung the balance. Schlichting also declined to say precisely how much his company has invested in the area but said it is "in the hundreds of millions."

"We've assembled that 35 acres over the last eight years," he said, referring to the Reston Heights development, where the hotel is opening. "All along, it's been in anticipation of rail coming to Dulles."

We love it when a plan comes together. So tell us more of this awesome hotel:

The 191-room luxury hotel is at 11750 Sunrise Valley Drive. It is owned by an affiliate of The JBG Cos. and is managed by Crestline Hotels & Resorts Inc.

Envisioned as an urban retreat “designed to renew, refresh and rejuvenate visitors to Reston,” the hotel will be the focal point of the Reston Heights area, which will ultimately include high-end retail, restaurants, residential and office space in a planned park-like setting.

The opening launches the 35-acre Reston Heights planned community, which is designed to serve as a “decidedly upscale” center.

"While many people primarily associate Reston with Reston Town Center, there is so much more to our town, and we are thrilled to play a major role in bringing new opportunities to the community," said David Catalon, Westin Reston Heights director of Sales and Marketing.

Or, with its pagan rituals, inadvertently open the gates of hell. Same diff.

Metro Silver Line: Better keep clapping!

Turns out yesterday's exciting reversal of fortunes for Metro's awesome E-ticket ride to Reston, Dulles, and beyond has, shall we say, a few strings attached.

To receive the entire $900 million, project officials must not allow the cost to escalate further, and they must demonstrate that its schedule, including an optimistic Phase I completion date of 2012, can be met. Toughest of all is a demand that the Metro system's $489 million in unfunded capital repairs be addressed before it takes on operation of a new 23-mile line.

Oh, come on. A power outage here, a track fire there, a pants-optional train or two, and suddenly people are worried that Metro is falling apart and can't handle the extra capacity? Just keep clapping!

Because of the delays this year, the contract will have to be renegotiated, probably at a slightly higher cost, several officials said. And the scheduled 2012 completion date for Phase I, which would extend the new Silver Line from the East Falls Church Metro station in Arlington to Wiehle Avenue in Reston, probably would be moved back at least a year. The second phase, expected to be done in 2015, would extend beyond the airport into Loudoun.

Just keep clapping!

One issue that appears to be permanently resolved is the question of whether a tunnel would replace the project's elevated alignment through Tysons Corner. Tunnel backers had hoped that federal rejection of the project would allow state officials to start over and design a rail line with the tunnel, because it would look better and help promote urban redevelopment in Tysons. But with the project officially in final design, those hopes appear to be over.

Oh, right. The developers grassroots group that has loudly demanded the entire project be blown up unless a tunnel tiled with mosaics depicting the ghostly face of Crystal Koons is built is definitely not clapping.

Following is a statement by TysonsTunnel President Scott A. Monett regarding today’s announcement that the Federal Transit Administration (FTA) will approve $900 million of federal funding for the Dulles Corridor Metrorail Project:

“Tysons Tunnel and its tens of thousands of supporters in Northern Virginia are extremely disappointed about today’s Dulles Corridor Metrorail Project news. Despite this development we still strongly believe it to be in the best interests of Northern Virginia taxpayers that the state competitively bid the Dulles rail project and that it study a tunnel for Tysons Corner. Taking this common-sense approach would assure the residents of this region that they are not overpaying for Metro service to Dulles International Airport.

“The FTA’s stunning and unexpected reversal leaves many unanswered questions regarding what changes have been made to the Dulles rail project to make it eligible for nearly a billion dollars of federal funding."

TysonsTunnel will take time over the coming days to assess today’s developments and the overall situation. We will determine our next steps to affect competitive bidding for this multi-billion dollar public transportation project.

Well, thanks very much, Mr. Buzzkill. Maybe they can revive their awesome nuisance lawsuit, like other selfless civic-minded groups in the region, and we can all sit in traffic for another 40 years.

So maybe that smell wasn't the algae in Lake Anne

Finally, a nuisance lawsuit we can actually get behind.

Lake Anne of Reston Condominium Association filed a negligence lawsuit against Dominion Virginia Power in late February. The case is a result of "Dominion's negligent destruction of one of the Association's waste lines," according to the lawsuit, and LARCA is seeking a full reimbursement of the costs incurred to repair the line. LARCA President Rick Thompson said the dispute "wasn't easily settled so we had to get counsel involved."

In early January 2007, an underground electrical cable on LARCA's property stopped working, resulting in power outages, and Dominion was called to investigate the issue, the lawsuit states. Dominion hired D.A. Foster to make the repairs, "including boring into the ground and the replacement of one of the underground cables and a transformer." The work was completed in January 2007 and shortly after the owner of one of Lake Anne's commercial properties contacted LARCA to report a sewage backup on the property.

We deal with a lot of crap on this site, but this is a first.