News and notes from Reston (tm).

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Redistricting Fever: July 3 Will Be Their Independence Day, Assuming Bill Pullman Is Available

Hey, remember that time when that awesome, pro-public school group FairfaxCAPS decided that the best way to educate troubled students from such impoverished neighborhoods as Oakton Heights, where some houses have slipped below the $750,000 poverty-line threshold, was to sue Fairfax County Schools to keep those students from being subjected to such indignities as a bus ride up and down the rolling hills of their marginal neighborhoods to South Lakes High School, where they would have the flag pins yanked from their lapels and be forced to play with Bratz dolls and drink fluoridated water and whatnot?

Well, the district's attorneys have responded to the suit, arguing it has -- get this -- no merit! Their kids must go to Langley or something, unlike the selfless public servants representing FairfaxCAPS, who are doing God's work in return for only a mere share of the proceeds from Indian takeout. In any event, they provided a 63-point response to FairfaxCAPS' right-thinking petition (PDF). Apparently the first 61 points were dead on, because only the last two seemed to rankle the group:

* “62 All of the claims alleged in the Petition fail because the court lacks jurisdiction to review the School Board’s decision to adjust school attendance boundaries.”
* “63 All of the claims alleged in the Petition fail because Petitioners lack standing to challenge the School Board’s decision to adjust school attendance boundaries.”

In other words, the school board believes it can do whatever it wants. No checks and balances. No board of appeals. No oversight. They claim unchecked powers — powers not even granted the President of the United States.
Ummm... we're not saying the school board has behaved perfectly during this entire uneventful season, but have these folks picked up a newspaper lately? Oh, wait -- that's the vice president. Never mind.

In any event, the awesome court date is July 3... THEIR INDEPENDENCE DAY!


  1. I cannot understand this post. Did the judges rule against FairfaxCaps and for the school board. I just would like to know that. I do not care about the Bratz dolls. I care about the kids getting an education. I like your blog but you alliterate too much.

  2. Not yet. Law 101: When lawsuits are filed, the defense attorneys file a written response where they basically tell the judge the lawsuit is, in essence, full of crap. This happens before the court date, presumably so the judge has time to read it and research unfamiliar concepts (like Bratz dolls and their impact on public education).

    The court date is July 3.

    Oh, I'm not a lawyer, but I play one on the Internet.

  3. Jobo -- This blog is supposed to be informative and HUMOROUS. If you want the facts without the humor, read a newspaper. Prosecutor (CAPS) file suit. Defense (FCPS) file response. Judge reads both, sets court date. Court date's coming up.

    I realize this is a month after you posted your comment... but your comment is just ridiculous enough for me to want to respond.


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