This and That: A Random Traipse Through Reston News

• Dear Leader Bob Simon was honored with a special joint concert in his honor by the Reston Community Orchestra and the Reston Chorale. Simon's family owned Carnegie Hall up in fancypants New York City, and he had to settle for a venue last used to showcase nekkid people, albeit nekkid people who won rave reviews and stuff.
  
  
• The still-possibly-to-be-demolished-yet-awesome Macaroni Grill, this blog's favorite restaurant, got a D- from Men's Health in its listing of America's unhealthiest restaurants. According to its biased liberal account, "this Italian grease spot serves some of the worst appetizers in the country, offers not one dinner entrée with fewer than 800 calories, and hosts no fewer than 60 menu items with more than 2,000 mg of sodium—almost an entire day’s worth of the salt!" Them's fighting words!
  
  
• The Reston Regional Library has a new manager. Andrew Pendergrass comes from Vienna's Patrick Henry Library, where he got a Wii, celebrated the Iranian New Year and threw a Harry Potter party, presumably not all on the same day.
  
  
• Reston native Dawie van der Walt qualified for the Chitimacha Louisiana Open. We read the story about a half-dozen times, and we're still not sure what sport this involves. Golf, we think, or maybe musketry.
  
  
• If you can get through the smarmy tone of this article, you'll learn that Two Reston Crescent, located next to one of Sprint/Nextel's dwindling non-Kansas properties, has won a "health care industry tenant." Sweet! Also, there's a deli and shuttle service coming.
  
  
• First it was pigs. Then it was people. Now it's fruit bats which have been infected with our namesake Reston Ebola virus. PANIC

This Week in Crime: We Told You Craigslist Was Creepy

We've warned you before about what happens when you search on "Reston personals" on Craigslist -- let's just say we don't mean ads saying things like "looking for a sensitive partner who likes midnight strolls through South Reston and isn't afraid to cry when the DRB violation comes in the mail." That would be a cakewalk compared to what one Reston woman has been through:

First came the phone calls: men, strangers, telling her they'd seen her ad on Craigslist and were eager to come over for her promised "casual encounter."

Later that week, men started showing up at her door in Reston, ready for an evening of random sex. "I'm here from Craigslist," they'd say. "You've been set up," she would tell them. By that time, she'd figured out what was happening: Someone was posting offers in her name on online message boards, with her home address.

She called Fairfax police, who tried stepping up patrols, even posting an officer inside her apartment. Still, the men kept coming. Both the 65-year-old and the police say they had a good idea who was behind this cruel attack, but despite months of effort, nothing has been done.

Her nightmare has been going on for 18 months. She even arrived at work one day -- she was in sales at the Eddie Bauer store in Reston Town Center -- to learn that the manager had received more than 100 phone calls, all from men seeking an assignation.

One man, who asked not to be named because he's married, confirmed that he responded to "a lewd message" and showed up at her house. The man has given her all of the e-mails he had from the episode and says he hopes he can help "expose the culprit behind these cruel pranks." But the best police say they can do is to tell her to ignore the culprit.

First, ick? Second, it's nice to see the married guy who was looking for a little action on the side via Craigslist is willing to help out. There are still some true gentlemen out there.

Flashback Monday: But Where's the 7-11?

Here is another one of the scale models of Reston we love so much, this one of the fancy, black-cube Reston International Center (tm) and adjoining roundish Sheraton, which together, from the air, look like a vaguely obscene "emoticon" that was created nearly two decades before texting and instant messaging would begin their assault on literacy. Or maybe Reston's planners just wanted to tell pilots circling to land at Dulles where a good time could be had.

Anyhoo, both of these impressive modernist buildings would pretty much be built exactly as envisioned and greatly improved by the surrounding low-rise buildings housing the Chilis and 7-11 and Popeyes and whatnot that followed later. For many years, the RIC was the tallest building in Reston, but the creation of the Fake Downtown (tm) across the Toll Road changed all that. Now, much of the surrounding real estate is in the midst of redevelopment for the awesome Reston Heights project, which has already brought us an oddly pagan hotel grand opening and a fire-sale condo auction. Still to come: 2,800 parking spaces and more tall buildings where the aforementioned Popeye's now stands, and maybe someday, a Metro Silver Line stop... on the other side of the Toll Road. Maybe they can run a Zip line from the top of the International Center to the parking garage.

RA Headquarters Referendum: I Want My RCTV

In case you are still on the fence about the awesome referendum on whether to spend up to $15 million to build a shiny new Reston Association headquarters building equipped with modern-age filing cabinets, hopefully in the middle of some pristine wooded "reach" which will require extensive "restoration," you clearly don't want to use something as disreputable as a filthy "web-log" to help you formulate your opinion. That's what public access cable, long the refuge of would-be psychics and lonely, basement-dwelling conspiracy theorists, is for.

Fortunately, something called "Reston Impact," which is on Channel 28 if you can get cable in your cardboard box in Targetville, hosted two half-hour shows on this very topic to an audience of tens! Since RCTV is the only public outlet in Reston, including standing with a megaphone at the intersection of Reston Parkway and Sunrise Valley, which may actually reach fewer people than this site, we're using the magic of the Googles to share its awesome insights with a larger audience.

Seriously, this stuff is riveting. Host and former Reston Association board member John Lovaas is a cross between Larry King and Jiminy Glick, minus the awesome suspenders.

Here he asks Reston CEO Milton Matthews, who mentioned he had worked in city government in Missouri before coming to Reston, if that meant that town had "a real government." Zing!

Also, at one point, RA President Robin Smyers said some crackpot actually suggested that RA "put the headquarters on top of Lake Newport pool and close it." Wait, what? We guess it's a good thing someone realized that in the event that a giant $15 million building was built on top of a swimming pool, it might have to close. Kudos.



In this second thrilling installment, Reston ARCH President Jerry Volloy says... oh, hell. We stopped paying attention about 5.6 seconds in. But go see their spreadsheets and whatnot, which we're told are quite compelling. More compelling than a "web-log" which uses the word "awesome" in every other sentence, anyway.

This Week in Crime: The Pineapple Express, Only in Reston and Not Funny

A Reston man was arrested last week for allegedly growing marijuana at his home on Monaghan Drive.

A man was arrested for allegedly growing marijuana at his home in the 2100 block of Monaghan Drive on Wednesday, March 18. Officers went to the house to serve an arrest warrant around 9:45 a.m. They were allowed into the house and did not locate the person they were looking for. The officers did discover several marijuana plants growing inside a closet and some drug paraphernalia. He was charged with felony cultivation of marijuana and felony possession of marijuana with the intent to distribute.

Also, while our favorite serial bank robber has moved on to Fair Lakes, we're still having the usual problems with people getting robbed while out on midnight strolls through the scenic wonders of South Reston:

A 33-year-old Reston man was robbed on Monday, March 16. The victim was walking on a path near Colts Neck Road and Winterthur Lane around 12:05 a.m. when two teenage boys approached him. One of them punched him; they took his shoes and sweat shirt and fled. They could only be described as black and in their teens. The victim did not require medical treatment.

Must have been nice shoes.

Get on off the bus: Budget cuts imperil uncomfortable, standing-room-only rides to Pentagon, Crystal City

While we wait for Metro's awesome Silver Line to magically arise from a series of muddy construction sites in Tysons Corner (keep clapping!), those of us with those quaint, last-century things called "jobs" have to settle for the Fairfax Connector, a bus service which takes people to various and sundry Metro stations on those occasions when the buses don't break down on the median of the Toll Road.

Only now, with the economy imploding and no one selling houses, Fairfax County is looking at drastic service cuts (PDF) to the Connector service, including eliminating several "express" routes connecting Reston to the Pentagon and Crystal City. Among the routes on the chopping block:

• 556, Reston Town Center to North Point to the Wiehle Park-N-Ride
  
• 595 to the Pentagon
  
• 597 to Crystal City

Also, routes 553, 557 and 585, which ply to and fro various South Reston hotspots before heading to the West Falls Church Metro, would be "cut by 40 percent." We don't know if that means they'll replace the buses with minivans equipped with booster seats or what. The 505, which goes from Wiehle to WFC, would also be reduced to 30-minute intervals.

People have voiced their concerns about these and other trivial cuts to police, fire, education and just about every other vital service the country provides. But they're not trying hard enough! If they want to do something, they should find a way to sell their houses at 2007 prices, thereby overfilling the country's coffers and making everything perfect again forever, the end.

In the meantime, we recommend hitchhiking, or maybe one of those fancy electric cars.

A children's treasury of snark, Reston-style

Unlike certain institutional "web-logs" which will go unmentioned, this humble site uses bleeding-edge, Web 4.0 technology allowing readers to "post" their "comments" on the site, as if it were a "bulletin board." Suck on that, AOL and Netscape! And unlike us, you guys are actually funny -- on purpose, even!

Consider our dutiful reporting of the Reston Association's arguments in favor of the referendum to spend up to $15 million on awesome new headquarters space, which boils down to the fact that they need more space for their files. Noting how much has been spent on mailing postcard reminders to vote, the appropriately named Brooklyn Bridge Salesman offered this:

Now, in the grand scheme of things $5,643 may not sound like a lot of money. But I can think of a lot better uses for it in Reston than this. It would be as if the U.S. Government had sent every registered voter in America a similar card last October reminding them "Election Day is November 4."

By the way, $5,643 could also buy 29 four-drawer file cabinets at Office Depot to store some of that mountain of official paper under which the RA apparently finds itself buried.

After we pointed out that Reston is home to some proto-hippies who care about the environment and whatnot, one commenter shared this:

Reston loves to think of itself as "green". But the same people who want US to be green also support rules (DRB) that limit a homeowner's ability to cut down trees which is necessary to make use of solar energy -- oh, but wait, we can only have tailor made VERY EXPENSIVE solar panels that don't show anyway. Never mind.

Speaking of trees, another poster had this to say about the RA's new Web presence:

Looking at the RA logo art, I'm wondering if the large building on the right is the new RA headquarters building. Also, I'm surprised they show any trees left standing. That couldn't be Snakeden Branch valley for sure!

We were merely performing an important public service when we provided photographic evidence that turning right onto Wiehle Avenue was akin to entering a radioactive hellscape. Leave it to our commenters to make a subtle political point:

This is Reston. One must NEVER turn right. Just keep turning left until you're where you wanted to be in the first place...or hold another referendum to get a different answer.

Meanwhile, upon learning that Metro's Silver Line really, really, really might be coming to Reston after making a mess of Tysons Corner and its awesome urban landscape of car dealerships, unless it doesn't, regular correspondent The Peasant from Less Sought After South Reston had this to offer:

With the way car sales are tanking, maybe Crystal Koons can be persuaded to work as the official greeter at the Wiehle terminus: "Metro's Silver Line: We're Gonna Wow You!". And if she is capable of multitasking, she can also hand out pool passes at the same time: "The Glade Pool: We're Gonna Wow You!".

A lovely black-and-white prototype sketch of a Reston cluster prompted this from South Lakes Mom:

and wait...is that an invasive species creeping over the wall?

Note: No color usage prevents accusations of UNAPPROVED COLORS.

But *nothing* has sparked more controversy on this site than our unending efforts to expose the shocking flagrant nudity of this month's performance of The Full Monty, which prompted this (apparently) serious comment:

I voted for Obama BECAUSE there are people like you still out there roaming the streets. So, really, you should only blame yourself. Shame on you.

Sweet -- our secret plan worked! Much as the WPA helped starving artists during the other Great Depression, we're angling for some of that sweet hopey stimulus money to keep this site afloat, ideally without having to take idealized black-and-white photos of the folks living in Targetville.

This Week in Crime: FBI's Sort of Most Wanted

Hey, remember that time or four when an extremely athletic but somewhat plan-averse bank robber would come into random Reston banks and be all like, "hey, give me all your money and a bag to put it in because I'm hearing my hoodie without pockets, K?" and then manage cunning escapes through places where no man or beast dared follow, like the sidewalks and trails?

Yeah, that was awesome. But now that this guy has left Reston's invisible unincorporated boundaries and struck banks elsewhere in Fairfax County, the FBI's on the case, offering a $10,000 reward:

The FBI is offering a reward of up to $10,000 for information leading to the arrest of a serial bank robber suspected of robbing several Fairfax County banks.

The most recent robbery occurred Mon., March 23 around 9:44 a.m.

An employee of the United Bank, located at 13060 Fair Lakes Boulevard, was working behind the counter when a man armed with a gun entered the bank, jumped the counter and demanded money.

The suspect locked the bank employees inside a vault, took an undisclosed amount of cash and fled on foot. The victim, a 35-year-old Falls Church man, was not injured. The suspect is described as black, about 30 years old. He was approximately 5 feet 5 inches to 5 feet 6 inches tall and 180 pounds. He wore a dark-colored hoodie, a mask, jeans and tennis shoes.

Robbery detectives believe this suspect is involved in several other robberies that have occurred since Nov. 2008, most of which took place in Reston.

Awesome! We can't wait for the hard target search.

RA Headquarters Referendum: $15 million a small price to pay for extra filing space and Internet access

Hey, remember that time the Reston Association sent us a fancy "ballot" in the mail and whatnot, urging us to approve spending up to $15 million for a shiny new headquarters building from which a squad of trained flying Ebola-negative monkeys would be dispatched clutching DRB violations and pool passes in their talons? Well, along with taking the issue straight to the heart of the blogosphere, the RA has been holding meetings to answer questions about the referendum, including one earlier this week:

One of the biggest questions of the evening that many were interested in hearing about was why RA needs such a large amount of square footage.

RA President Robin Smyers said the association hired a real estate services firm to conduct a space analysis to help decide what amount of space is practical or necessary. She said the firm found that much of their current space is being "double used." For example, there are files filling up rooms meant for meetings, she said. Smyers said the current building is also maxed out in terms of infrastructure so they are not able to get a better Internet connection or update the space.

So the new building will apparently have some of those new fangled "filing cabinets" we keep hearing about, plus something a bit faster than the current 28.8k baud modem so people can update their Facebook status at near T1 speeds. Sweet! Unfortunately, those sticks in the mud at ARCH, who have the unmitigated gall to question something they ultimately will have to pay for, still aren't convinced.

Jerry Volloy, former CEO of RA and current president of the Association of Reston Clusters and Homeowners, said members of ARCH still do not think RA has made their case for the increased amount of space. He said using federal and private standards for the amount of space needed for employees, plus an additional 5,000 square feet would still result in RA only needing 20,000 square feet total, which is about the size of RA's current space.

Smyers said the space analysis determined they will need about 15,000 square feet more in order to have adequate meeting space for their board and committees, community use and space for growth. She said RA also needs more reception space for members, especially during times when many come in to pay for summer programs and assessments and long lines force them to move into other areas of the building.

Fortunately, Bob Simon was at the meeting and has, as they say in the movies, a plan.

Bob Simon said he called RA's landlord who told him that he would be willing to extend RA's lease at their current building. Simon said then RA could build in the redeveloped Lake Anne while they stay in the current space. "Let's go to Lake Anne, where we belong," he said. Smyers said the landlord has not offered RA the option to extend its lease, which ends next spring. She said they have been advised to move out of the building.

Advised by whom, exactly?

Simon and others also said they would like to know more about the firm RA is working with and what buildings they have looked at. Smyers said because of a confidentiality agreement RA is not allowed to disclose what properties are being considered. "It's not that we don't want to tell you," Smyers said. "We want to make sure the negotiations are confidential so that we can get the best deal for our members. As soon as we can let you know, we will."

Right after the ballots are counted at the check's in the mail. Right?

Anyhoo, two more public meetings are slated, one at 10am Saturday, the other at 7pm on Monday, assuming people can squeeze into that room full of files. If the referendum does not pass on the April 10 deadline, the RA will "likely lease a space in a different building."

We've got some room in our basement for those files if that helps.

Reston's Vibrant Economy Part 37: Ten-Hut!

Perhaps you've driven down Reston's one official signposted "Scenic Byway," which takes you from the historic 7-11 on Sunset Hills and past some scenic apartment buildings and a fake wetland to within eyeshot of the Macaroni Grill. Along with the 'ole distillery, you may have noticed the fancy manor house and office complex hidden discretely on one side of the road. We always assumed they were some sort of CIA skunkworks where they trained operatives in the fine arts of assassination and cocktail party etiquette, but now both have been sold, for real, to some military types.

Army & Air Force Mutual Aid Associates purchased the Boxwoods Office Campus in Reston, VA, from Linden Development for about $16.1 million, or $400 per square foot.

The deal includes a three-story, 40,000-square-foot office building, and several adjacent non-commercial buildings, including a manor house. The office is on five acres and was completed in 1986. Army & Air Force Mutual Aid plans to occupy at least half of the property this year.

Never fear. The aforementioned distillery's still on the market if you want to grab a piece of Reston's most scenic road. At $1.6 $1.2 million, it's a steal! And the 5am bugle calls next door will be completely free.

Print is Dead Dying: Observer Joins Times in "Improving Service"

Whenever you see something on the front page of a newspaper claiming that it's "improving service," you know the exact opposite is happening. Now the Observer has joined the ranks of the late-but-not-quite-lamented Reston Times by consolidating its Reston and Herndon editions into one fantabulous polybag full of fun that will be littering the driveways of homes in four, maybe five Zip codes. Blaming the economic turndown for the cutbacks improvement, the paper's publisher promises to unveil an enhanced new Web presence in the coming weeks. We can only hope it's as good as this one.

This Just In: Reston Still Home to Hippies

Electric cars! Sustainable farms! You needn't pinch yourself -- you're not at some fancy Hollywood Hills party hosted by Ed Begley Jr. Founded by hippies who liked the idea of living in townhouses in the middle of nowhere, Reston is still home to a variety of idealistic folks who annoy the rest of us by driving their electric-powered cars at their top speed of 4 mph, slowing down our gas-guzzling SUVs, or urge their neighbors to cut out the sucralose and eat only free-range vegetables fertilized by their overly tall compost bins and whatnot.

Meet Mark Moody, who was selected to drive one of just 100 of the hydrogen-powered Chevy Equinox vehicles released nationwide.

The Reston resident is the president of the Clean Fairfax Council, which promotes litter reduction and recycling through education. Moody founded the Reston Association's Adopt-a-Spot program, in which citizens volunteer to care for stretches of the community's vast pathway network. And he works with engineers and industry professionals to develop energy-efficient buildings through his work as a regional sales manager for Critical Power Group.

So it should come as no surprise that Moody was selected as one of the few people in the nation to test-drive General Motors hydrogen-powered Chevy Equinox through a program called Project Driveway. Moody applied for the program through the Chevy.com Web site, and was selected to drive the hydrogen vehicle for two months from among about 80,000 applicants.

The car gets the equivalent of 55 miles per gallon, which is a good thing, as the closest place to refuel it is in Fort Belvoir. Convenient!

"To be one of the people who get to drive these vehicles you can't say 'no,'" Moody said. "You put up with it."

Maybe he should just drive around looking for oil geysers.

Anyhoo, another Reston couple has started a second "farm drop," which is a place where you can pick up fresh produce and whatnot from farms, as opposed to, say, going to a grocery store.

Keith and Kimberly Hartke, who have been helping to operate a “farm drop” with Mount Vernon Farms at the National Realty office building on Sunrise Valley Drive, are inviting another Virginia farm to their location.

Polyface Farm, located in Swope, Va., is one of the leading sustainable farms, according to Kimberly Hartke. Owner Joel Salatin has written books on sustainable farming and thousands have visited the farm. Salatin teaches his techniques to other farmers, including Cliff Miller, owner of Mount Vernon Farm, Kimberly Hartke said.

The Polyface Farm Buying Club is the largest in Virginia and sells to many restaurants in the state. The club already has a farm drop on the north side of Reston and will begin a drop at the National Realty office on March 10. Kimberly Hartke said the north Reston drop brings in about $17,000 in sales every visit and has become very crowded, increasing the demand for another drop site. The Hartkes said having a second drop in Reston will be more convenient and also help attract new customers to purchase sustainable foods.

Sweet! If anyone's interested, there's plenty of "sustainable" (or at least expendable) firewood available from the awesome stream restoration project. Just grab your chainsaw and go!

Metro Silver Line: Sunday Funnies

From Sunday's Washington Post:


Of course, this is just some silly cartoon. To be completely accurate, smoke from a track fire would have to be billowing out of the tunnel on the left.

Flashback Monday: Reston, the Superfund site

This week, we pull on our wool-knit caps and crank up the Nirvana as we go back in time to 1993. Sing along, kids!

Come and listen to a story about a man named Bob
A poor real estate developer, barely kept his community mauve,
Then one day he was filing some DRB paperwork dude,
And up through the ground came a bubblin crude.
Oil that is... black gold, Texas tea.

Okay, so maybe "Bob" and "mauve" are more of a half-rhyme. But Reston did get a visit from our pals at the EPA after an oil pipeline behind the Reston Hospital Center ruptured, shooting a 100-foot-high plume of oil into the air.

On March 28, 1993, a rupture occurred in an oil pipeline in Fairfax County Virginia, sending a 100-foot plume of fuel oil into the air. The high-pressure pipeline, owned by the Colonial Pipeline Company, released over 400,000 gallons of oil to the environment before it could be shut down and fully drained. The rupture resulted in one of the largest inland oil spills in recent history, the oil affected nine miles of the nearby Sugarland Run Creek as well as the Potomac River.

Somewhere that same day, Dick Cheney's mouth started involuntarily watering. It hasn't stopped since.

The future is yesterday: RA discovers new-fangled "web-blogs" those crazy kids keep talking about

(Note the Norman Rockwell meets Charles Kincaid depiction of "Reston")

So we might as well close up shop, as there's a new kid on the blogging block. As part of the much heralded redesign of its "Web-site," which as close as we can tell mainly features the awesome new addition of cartoony stock illustrations that look nothing like Reston, the Reston Association has added a "web-log" from RA President Robin Smyers. Or at least we assume it's from her, as posts are labeled as being authored by "Administrator Account." So you can just imagine the edgy commentary you're gonna read!

They say that “March comes in like a lion” and for each of us who serves on the Reston Association Board of Directors, March will prove to be a “roaring” month.

Whoa! Better click the "minimize" button before the kids see what you're looking at. But Smyers Administrator Account isn't afraid to touch on the controversial issues. She Administrator Account addresses the awesome new $15 million RA headquarters referendum head-on:

As Board President, I cannot tell you how to vote. However, as Robin Smyers, Member, my vote will be a resounding yes.

This is an investment for our future. As any of my fellow board members could tell you, we could simply lease new space. Because RA is a not-for-profit organization, we receive no tax advantages from leasing. That’s why owning our own facility – through either purchase or building—is a good investment for the association. And with the current economic climate, we could achieve a bargain.

Smyers Administrator Account ends her post with a request "to leave your polite comments for me." But there's no way to post comments, polite or not, on the "web-blog," so FAIL.

So yeah, wow. Let's just hope they don't find out about that "Twitter" thing the kids keep yammering on about, or soon we'll be besieged by tweets along the lines of "Plz has $15 million for new HQ? Kthxbaie" or "Just saw white stone and red mulch in front of house. Iz bad. =(."

Ebola Reston: It's finger-lickin' good! (Or: The least appetizing story you'll read all week)

After killing more than 6,000 pigs infected with our very own homegrown Ebola Reston virus, Philippine officials did the next logical thing:

After clearing a hog farm in Bulacan province of Ebola Reston-infected pigs, local officials recently gathered and dug into finger-licking good, virus-free roasted pigs.

The Bulacan provincial government said "it’s fiesta time" in Pandi town after the Bureau of Animal Industry (BAI) finished culling thousands of pigs that were found infected with the potent Ebola Reston virus.

After the BAI's announcement of the culling’s completion last Friday, Bulacan Governor Joselito Mendoza prepared several roasted pigs for the members of the province's peace and order council. Mendoza, joined by the chief executives of Pandit, Pulilan and Plaridel town, local police officials and health officials, including Dr. Eric Tayag of the National Epidemiology Center, dug into crispy, juicy roasted hogs after the peace and order council.

A total of 6,210 infected pigs were slaughtered by the BAI in a week-long culling operation at the Pandi hog farm.

Mmmm. Who wants seconds?

Reston's Vibrant Economy Part 36: Sprint Nextel consolidation, a big winner, and collies chasing geese

• After deciding to shutter its awesome Reston network operations center and consolidate those functions in Kansas, Sprint Nextel is looking at centralizing its accounting departments as well.

  Some key accounting functions, for example, are moving from Reston to Kansas, Fisher said. Some of these moves will not necessarily be completed by the end of March.
  
  “The transfer would happen in a way that we could insure the strongest financial controls and strongest financial continuity,” Fisher said. “There are some folks who were doing accounting functions in Reston who will remain until later this spring.”

  Time to kick off those Sunday shoes.
  
  
• Paul Villella, chief executive of Reston-based executive recruiting firm HireStrategy, was the big winner in the Washington Post's "guess how badly the local economy will tank" contest (probably not the contest's exact name). Yay! How'd he do it?

  It was his broad-based pessimism that made him the winner. Overall, Villella was second-most pessimistic of the 23 local business leaders who ventured a guess on how 11 key economic indicators would perform in the Post's Local Economy Challenge 2008.

  Oh. Maybe not so much "yay."
  
  
• How well is Reston-based homebuilder NVR doing? So well that its founder and chairman, Dwight Schar, sold all but a fraction of his stock holdings last month, as did other execs.
  
  
• Despite all this hippie socialist talk about "stimulus packages," good old defense contracting is still here to stay. Reston-based Northrop Grumman won a $574 million contract from the U.S. Army to provide "situational awareness" systems, which may or may not involve strapping bombs to dolphins.
  
  
• Tysons may get that awesome Silver Line monorail before we do, but financial firm Clark & Associates relocated from the traffic-clogged hellhole "Fairfax County's downtown" to Reston. Yay! What changes do they expect from the 8-mile move?

  As most of the current clients who come to Clark & Associates for financial advice possess older money and are looking for secure investments with reasonable returns rather than risky investments with chance for great returns, the move to Reston will likely mean more clients with newer money who may be less concerned with their long-term financial future.

  We're a perfect example of that hip, Internet-earned "newer money." We'll be funneling that $6.06 in Google AdSense revenue into our retirement funds any day now. Targetville, here we come!
  
  
• Reston-based Turiss LLC, which makes cyberfraud prevention software, will be spotlighted at this year's Grubstake Breakfast, which is where tech firms used to seek funding back in those nostalgic days of "funding" and "money."
  
  
• Our new BFFs at Washingtonian profiled Megan Gay in their Sidewalk Style feature. But we were less intrigued by her Nine West Boots than her gig at her brother's Reston-based company, which is called "Geese Police" and "trains border collies to control Canada geese on client properties." Awww.... cute! We've said it before, and we'll say it again: Everybody loves puppies.

Radioactive Reston: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

This highly conspicuous warning sign was posted on the side of Baron Cameron Avenue near yet another random tree-removal project, this one adjoining Northgate. In case you couldn't read the 12-point lettering on the six-inch-high sign while driving by at 55 mph, the sign reads "RADIOACTIVE AREA: KEEP OUT." So don't blame us if you start glowing after taking a right turn onto Wiehle Avenue.

Metro Silver Line: It's official (but keep clapping, just in case)

With the stroke of a pen attended by a host of old white men standing in front of an oddly communist slogan, the awesome Metro Silver Line, which will bring occasional subway service to Reston, Dulles Airport, and the particleboard crap beyond, actually just might happen now, or at least stay financially viable for long enough to create a giant construction project with tons of orange cones with flashing lights and giant piles of dirt and traffic-snarling lane closures before the federal gubmint runs out of money and the country devolves into anarchy. But hey -- shiny underground trains!

U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood sealed the fate of one of the largest transit projects in the country yesterday when he signed an agreement that commits $900 million of federal funds to help build the $5.2 billion Silver Line from northwest Arlington to Loudoun County.

This very very exciting news comes after the project received several official FTA "letters of no prejudice," which is bureaucratese for "good luck with that."

Meanwhile, the developers grassroots organizers who have continued to fight for an awesome tunnel filled with bejeweled frescos bearing the image of Crystal Koons to preserve Tysons Corner's frail urban beauty, are still at it:

The Silver Line's aerial configuration through Tysons continues to trouble detractors who pressed for a tunnel; one grass-roots organization, Tysonstunnel.org, announced yesterday that it is still exploring legal options to encourage competitive bidding on a tunnel.

Awesome! We're starting to get bored without a good nuisance lawsuit to keep us entertained. Anyhoo, the awesome project is expected to reach Wiehle Avenue by 2013, where incoming trains will be greeted by a shiny, gold-plated station that terminates in the lobby of Reston's awesome new headquarters building, where every disembarking passenger will be handed a pool pass, the end.

Reston's vibrant cultural scene: Nekkid people and barbershop quartets

Now there's a Google search term we'll be the #1 result for! All we know is that while we were busy paying attention to tree cullings and fancy new headquarters proposals, Reston's vibrant cultural scene has taken a turn for the... um, creepy.

When you think "indecent exposure" and "Reston," you usually think about 5:30 am strolls around South Reston. But last weekend, the Reston Players kicked off their month-long run of The Full Monty, in which your neighbors tromp around the stage at the Reston Community Center buck nekkid. But what of the children?

While the show’s calling card are its striptease numbers — and this production will feature full-frontal male nudity, according to director Sue Pinkman — the baring of bodies is merely a pretext for the characters’ baring their souls, she said.

Riiiight. I'm sure that's just what this guy said.

"There are so many levels to the comedy and so many levels to the message," she said. "It’s like, people really do need people. It’s about love in all different forms, sons and fathers, husbands and wives, it has a gay couple in it, it has an older man in it who isn’t ready to retire, so there’s all kinds of wonderful elements to it."

Frankly, we blame the Obama administration. And this guy, too:

Herndon native Evan Hoffmann stars as Jerry Lukowski, the de facto ringleader of the down-and-out workers. He said he’s embraced the challenges of the complete exposure the role demands.

"It’s exciting, it’s one of the main reasons that I was excited to do the show," he said. "I’ve certainly never been in a play where I was asked to take my clothes off. I look at it as a test of my own will — it’s a nice test of my comfort level with myself, if I’m able to do it.

Well, that's how they roll over in Herndon, we guess.

If you wanted a break from that unspeakable filth, there was an equally exciting live performance last weekend. We're sorry to say we missed the Annual International Preliminary Contest of The Barbershop Harmony Society, which is also known as "The Society for the Preservation and Encouragement of Barber Shop Quartet Singing in America (SPEBSQSA), a 501(c) 3 non-profit organization," in case you're keeping score at home. This festive event took place this past weekend at the Hyatt Regency Reston in the Reston Town Center. As you may have guessed by your dog's incessant howling, 28 barbershop quartets from New York to North Carolina competed for the right to sing at this summer's 2009 International Convention in Anaheim, California. It must have been just like American Idol, only with barbershop quartets.

We're praying they kept their clothes on.

Flashback Monday: Livin' the Dream

From the musty pages of the original Reston master plan, check out this artist's rendering of what "Reston's first villages" might look like, as envisioned by Whittlesey and Conklin, who are described as "city planners." (And what a cool job title that must have been to have while passing out business cards in the 1960s!)

Note how the mother and daughter are conspiratorially discussing when to raze the tree in the foreground, while oblivious Junior plays with some sort of bizarre wooden contraptions, wondering what happened to the tot lot.

Moorings: Reston's Most Selfish Cluster?

Perhaps because of the likes of this unidentified overage camouflage-wearing hipster we found on "the Flickr," Moorings Cluster recently pulled a "stream restoration" on its tot lot overlooking Lake Anne, removing every trace of playground equipment from a popular place for families and other reprobates to stop during walks around the lake.

We'd like to think this is in preparation for some awesome new playground equipment, like a giant multi-level ballroom with built-in WiFi and whatnot, but... we're skeptical. The previous equipment was in decent condition. Did the residents of the cluster decide they didn't want undesirables from other neighborhoods marring their views of the lake?

The cluster's Web site is silent on the matter. But its FAQ page does have this helpful information:

Q: Can I paint my house pink?
A: You may paint the inside of your house whatever color you wish. Exterior colors must conform to the Cluster palette (See " Rules and Regulations " for more information).

Stay classy, Moorings. Stay classy.

This Week in Crime: No need to say anything about that armed home invasion a month ago

An arrest has been made in an armed Reston home invasion that happened more than a month ago that police never bothered to share with the public, since it didn't involve a comically inept but athletic bank robber who needs to ask for bags to carry away his money, yet still hasn't been caught.

On Jan. 24 at 4 a.m., an armed, home-invasion robbery occurred on Reston Avenue in Reston, and Fairfax County police have charged a Centreville man in connection with that offense.

This follows the most recent arrest of a 18-year-old wanted for murdering his stepmother last year, which Fairfax County Police took nearly three weeks to make public. How are lazy bloggers dedicated citizen journalists supposed to "report" news like this if the police don't have the time to type out a nicely formatted, grammatically correct press release?

Reston's vibrant economy, part 35: Sprint Nextel to lay off 93 remaining non-Kansans, presumably for inability to 'kick off their Sunday shoes'

After moving its headquarters from Reston to fritter-loving, dance-hating Kansas, and then cutting loose a bunch of people working on Clearwire in its Herndon office, Sprint Nextel is now closing its Reston-based network operations center, making another 93 jobs redundant.

The company will cut the Reston workers May 29, according to a notice the company filed with Virginia.

Technicians working at the Reston office monitor Sprint’s nationwide networks and quickly address network-related issues. Sprint has similar facilities in Overland Park and Atlanta.

“The functions handled by the Reston center are consolidating into the network operating center in Overland Park, where the networks will continue to be taken care of and monitored from a centralized location that allows for streamlining of operations under a more effective cost structure,” Sprint spokeswoman Lisa Zimmerman-Mott said.

The center will not close until May 29, and eligible employees without jobs at that time will receive three months’ pay, job placement assistance and other benefits, she said.

Overland Park-based Sprint (NYSE: S) employs 4,300 workers in the Washington area and had said cuts would affect all levels of the company.

They've still got a long way to go before reaching their previously stated goal of shedding 8,000 jobs, so if we were still gainfully employed by Sprint Nextel in Reston, we'd be working on our dance moves.

This and That: A Random Meander Through Reston News

• Remember that awesome piece of art that symbolically represented the destruction of trees by Columbia Gas, or Reston’s awesome stream restoration project, or whatever? Turns out the tree wasn’t one of the countless victims of either treepocalypse, but an ailing dogwood plucked from Governor’s Square Cluster for use in the project. And now that folks in Reston have seen more than enough dead trees, the exhibit was moved to its final resting place -- Dogwood Elementary -- which goes to show you that artists love irony.
  
  
• Reston-based Access National Bank's parent company told the federal gubmint last month just where to stick their bailout money.
  
  
• Hey, did you like go to that awesome Pearl Jam concert at Lake Fairfax Park back in 1992? Here's a wacky bootleg of the show, in case you were too jacked up on Zima at the time to remember it.
  
  
• After the Obama administration proposed doing away with subsidies to student loan providers, Sallie Mae's top brass finally have something worth swearing about.
  
  
• South Lakes and Herndon High School kids partner on an awesome art project. But what about the band programs?
  
  
• People keep speculating about who's getting laid off from Accenture and when.
  
  
• Jeff Tunks, chef owner of PassionFish in Reston plus a couple of other D.C. restaurants no one's ever heard of, was on the TV! No word on whether he found Al Roker "a stitch."
  

Makin' Bacon: Ebola Reston leads to 6,000 slaughtered pigs, justified hatred of planned real estate development 6,000 miles away

As all you fans of horribly infectious pathogens already know, Ebola Reston, the disease so nice they named it after an earth-toned planned real estate development, jumped from pigs in the Philippines to several farm workers, so the Philippine government had an emergency meeting in a secret undisclosed location (the warehouse where Imelda Marcos used to store her shoes) and decided to cull 6,000 pigs to keep the disease from spreading. Only thing was, they only had one stun gun to do the dirty work, and it kinda broke.

PANDI, Bulacan , Philippines – A faulty stun gun has stalled the mass slaughter here of pigs exposed to the Ebola-Reston virus.

Dr. Davinio Catbagan of the Bureau of Animal Industry said they were able to destroy 442 pigs on Sunday but a defective stun gun forced them to stop the procedure yesterday.

Officials said they expect to complete the slaughter, burning and burial of 6,000 pigs exposed to the Ebola-Reston virus tomorrow night.

“Our stun gun jammed, thus slowing the procedure,” an official who declined to be named said. The official said they even had to use a .22 caliber gun to keep the procedure going.

“They are making adjustments,” she told reporters.

And lest anyone thing we're being insensitive to the plight of the soon-to-be-bacon, we'd like to point out the above illustration actually came from a newspaper article describing the hog slaughter. Stay classy!

This Week Last April in Crime: One for the Cold Case Files

Fairfax County Police announced they have extradited the 18-year-old stepson of a Reston woman murdered in her home last April.

Zaida Alvarez Rodriguez, 42, was found unresponsive April 3 in her apartment on Greywing Square, in the Springs apartment complex in the Hunters Woods area of Reston. She was taken to Reston Hospital Center, where she was pronounced dead. Police have declined to release a cause of death, other than to say she suffered "trauma to the upper body."

Detectives soon obtained a warrant for Elvin Rodriguez-Juarez, who was then 17. He was located in Houston last month, police said, and arrested Feb. 17 by U.S. marshals there. He agreed to be extradited to Virginia and was returned to Fairfax on Feb. 25.

Police had sought Rodriquez since last April. He has been charged with murder. Once again, there's nothing funny about this story, so here is a picture of a feral-looking cat wearing pajamas.

Flashback Monday: Reston's 49,999th resident and their spouse

Let's put on our old Huey Lewis CDs and go "back in time" to November 1987, when Reston had a Very Special Event to honor its 50,000th resident. The USGS Headquarters was home to the gala welcoming Leslie and Gary Fox. But which one was #49,999 and which one was #50,000? Who knows, but they were apparently up on stage with Julia and Henry Rogers, the "first residents of Reston," and after a 12-round, no-holds-barred wrestling match, the winning couple were named the Enlightened Despots of Reston and awarded a mauve scepter giving them the divine right to ignore any two (2) DRB restrictions of their choice. Legend has it that was how the gawdawful Reston Spectrum was allowed to be built.

If this story seems a bit far-fetched, remember we're talking about long-ago 1987. Professional wrestling was very popular back then.