The Truth Is Out There... At the North Point Giant

A Confidential Restonian Operative sent us this very exciting photo taken at the North Point Shopping Center, where some Right-Thinking Americans in their "Government Transparency Intelligence Task Force" RV apparently descended on our favorite ultra top secret nexus of the military-grocery complex for a sale on Mr. Pibb, whose cash receipts are obviously injected into the fraudulent banking system overseen by the diabolical Federal Reserve, and demanding the Truth about exactly what those little handheld scanners are really reading (spoiler alert: your thoughts). We're through the looking glass!

No word yet on how Occupy Sweet Frog is going, the end.

Still More Clapping, Please! As Metro Takes Over Silver Line, Everyone's Trying to Guess the 'Summerish' Opening Date

As predicted last week, Metro formally assumed operations of the Silver Line on Tuesday, meaning that (in theory) service to the Crystal Koons-themed wonderland of Tysons Corner and the strange lands beyond it obscured by the mysterious "Beltway" could begin in 90 days or less (with the first escalator failure to follow in 91 days or less). But when will the Silver Line actually open? Depends on who you ask!

The Washington Post says service could begin "in late July or early August," "barring any major problems."

Action McNews 4 says "early August."

Our BFFs at Reston Now wisely pointed out that "there was no announcement about when the line will be open for service."

Action McNews 7 will only say "this summer."

Our other BFFs at Reston Patch don't hazard a guess on an opening date, but helpfully point out that Metro took over operations at precisely 5:30am yesterday.

Action McNews 9 is the ballsiest most precise, boldly predicting a start date of "about August 25th." We'll give them "props," as the kids today absolutely never say, for their open, on-air skepticism of that (or any) firm date:



We should point out that the Post also added that officials were "careful to tamp down expectations and cautioned that issues could emerge that could delay the opening." Trust us, our expectations don't exactly need tamping at this point.

For our official Metro predictions, we think we'll stick with this website. It hasn't been wrong yet.

At Lake Anne, A Sendoff 46 Years in the Making (Updated)

Confidential Restonian Operative "Rangwe of Wiehle" sent along some photos of the going-away party for Larry Cohn, owner and operator of the Lakeside Pharmacy for 46 years. After unsuccessfully trying to sell the business a few years back, Cohn received a contract to buy the last of the original Lake Anne Plaza businesses earlier this year; the in-pharmacy Cafe Lakeside closed in February. Rangwe writes:

Remember when there was a library and a post office at Lake Anne Center? I do! I remember when Larry had Pac Man, Tempest and Donkey Kong in his awesome refuge from development.

I came late, but according to Ruth there were 150 people.

We all had a blast. Lake Anne Association paid for the party so I hear, and hats off to them. As good as it gets in the land of Middle Earth. Where will the Hobbits go for refuge now? Seriously sad, despite my "always look on the bright side of life" stance.

It's still not clear what will become of the space, though rumor has it that there were efforts to entice another independent pharmacist -- which would be a pleasant surprise, in this era of big-box pharmacies.

All in all, it's just another ch-ch-ch-change at Lake Anne, following the unexpected closing of another long-time business last month. Only this one involves a retirement, not a bunch of chains on the doors and no trespassing signs. And cake. Lots of cake!


Good luck, Larry and Ruth. You'll both be missed.

Update: Our BFFs at Reston Now say that the sale is now closed, but Cohn will continue working through the end of July while the new owners look for another pharmacist to rent the space.

As Pools Open, Watch for Scalpers

As most of Reston's pools open this weekend, you may notice some flatlanders non-residents sharing the lap lane with you. How, you may ask? Apparently there's a burgeoningfledgling marketplace of one, in which an RA resident attempted to scalp their plastic fantastic pool passes for the year. Quel horreur! BFFs at Reston Now, give us the shocking news in blockquote:

RA staff noticed a posting on Craigslist.com offering pool passes for sale. The poster said he owns a few homes in Reston and wants to recover the transfer fee of $260 he recently paid when closing on his most recent property.

“I’ve paid for the yearly fees already,” the poster writes. “A single or family pool pass set can be purchased if you email me with your contact info and your address. The Reston Association loophole allows renters with a valid lease … get a pass for the year of 2014. The term of the rental can be a day, or weekend or any time period. I am thinking $100 per adult. $75 rental and your $25 pass fee.”

Naturally, all this is strictly verboten by RA regulations, which state that the passes are non-transferrable. But what can we do to make sure we're not sharing the wading pool with an unlicensed Herndonian, or (shudder) someone slumming it from "Great" Falls?

Fortunately, the RA has, as they say in the movies, a Plan. As an aside in another article about pool passes, the RA says they are planning to pilot a "on-site code" system for pools and tennis facilities in 2015. That's good, but we're not sure it's quite good enough. After all, our precious fluids are at stake!

Fortunately, in this era of high-tech identification and enforcement, there is a solution:



The only drawback? It's going to be hard to get a tan in that suit.

Reston: The Official Bird

Our Facebook BFFs at Friends of Reston have launched a campaign to designate an "official Reston bird" to celebrate our earth-toned community's 50th anniversary. There's a fancy online survey where you can vote, and everything!

Sadly, the five nominated birds -- the American Goldfinch, Barred Owl, Eastern Bluebird, Great Blue Heron, and Pileated Woodpecker -- don't quite capture the je ne sais quoi of Reston, in our humble opinion.

Fortunately, the online survey has a write-in category, and we humbly suggest the following possibilities:

The elusive, yet DRB-friendly, Russet Brown Bird.

We know this one by its scientific name: Dullesum Conversatium Interruptus.

The Titmouse, because of 1) reasons and 2) we're secretly 14 years old.

Sadly, the last of these majestic beasts was banded and relocated in the Great Covenants Migration of 1964.

Not-so-far-away West Virginia may consider the satellite dish its official flower, but you still see plenty of its stealthier, more neutrally toned cousins discretely lining appropriately shingled rooftops across Reston.

The humble goose, whose soothing cries and ubiquitous droppings make any walk around one of Reston's lakes an adventure.

The Dodo (usually only seen around the Tall Oaks and Lake Anne village centers).

Another specimen known best by its scientific name: DRBus Nightmareus.

Voting continues until September 30. Have at it.

Keep Clapping! Metro To Take Control of Silver Line Next Week (Maybe), Start Operations By August (Maybe)

After months of speculation, it looks like the awesome Metro Silver Line just might open by "summer"* after all. Metro is now scheduled to take control of the rail line next Tuesday, unless that "target date" gets pushed back, which means it could conceivably begin operations in another 90 days, or maybe sooner, unless it doesn't. Give us some highly specific blockquote, BFFs at the Washington Post:

Metro General Manager Richard Sarles would not comment on a specific start date for passenger service, but that target takeover date of May 27 raises hopes that trains could begin running in late July or early August. Metro has 90 days to complete its work, but Sarles has hinted that the transit authority may not need the full three months.

So much for last fall November January February spring early summer July 4. But now that we have a "target date," at which time Metro will begin testing the line (unless it doesn't), and we can assume that those tests will be smooth sailing (unless they're not), what else could possibly go wrong?

Officials from the Federal Transit Administration and the Tri-State Oversight Committee, which oversees Metro’s operations, also will conduct their own independent safety reviews during the 90-day period. Both agencies must sign off on the rail line before it can open to passengers.

Keep clapping, kids!

* Remember that "summer" starts in December -- at least in some parts of the world:

Roadpocalypse Now: Part of Hunter Mill Road Washed Away

Our Facebook BFFs at the Fairfax County Police department posted photos of what's left of Hunter Mill Road after last night's heavy rain, pointing out that the section between Hunter Station Road and Lawyers Road will remain closed for "several days."


So much for our weekend Vienna Inn runs, the end.

Parkpoclalypse Now: New RTC Development Would Encroach on Existing Park Space

Hey, remember that time that Boston Properties bought the last surface parking lot at Reston Town Center with plans to build more mixed-used development on the space? Yeah, that was awesome. Well, our BFFs at Reston 2020 are now telling us that as part of their development plans, Boston is planning on building into the adjoining park that serves as a buffer between RTC and Reston Parkway, and they are Not Amused. Give us some good blockquote, BFFs from Reston 2020:

As part of that development, BP wants to take 60' linear feet--one-third--of the adjoining President's Park, land it had previously committed to sustaining as park space. And, oh yes, why not add 1,000 parking spaces in this so-called transit-oriented development.

BP is making a fool of County decision makers who say they want transit-oriented development (TOD), but are unwilling to limit parking growth or ensure adequate park or other open space, and the community in which it operates by acting as if it answers to no one but its shareholders.

They also included this helpful map:



First off, kudos for including the Macaroni Grill on the map. Makes it more real to us.

According to minutes from a Reston Planning & Zoning Committee meeting, Boston plans to build a 17-story office building where the low-rise Ruby Tuesday FedEx now stands, and then a 549-unit apartment/condo with 25,000 square feet of ground-floor retail atop the existing parking lot... and part of the park.

Boston's representative pointed out that the amount of parkland to be used is "significantly less than is permitted by current Fairfax County Planning Office approvals." They've also pledged to "ensure maximum tree-save potential," but there was a moment of unintentional comedy when someone pointed out that the renderings that Boston showed at the P&Z meeting included more trees than are currently there, and who knows, maybe little happy cartoon birds chirping and whatnot, and their representative had to admit the additional trees in the drawing were "in error." Awkward!

The problem is that as the landowners, Boston is apparently well within its rights to do this. If true, that's the fault of county planners. But it doesn't exactly make Boston look like it cares a whole lot about walking the walk on creating a livable mixed-use, high-density community, aside from paying some poor graphic designer to add more trees to their renderings.

Our BFFs at Reston 2020:

The whole BP presentation and responses points out unequivocally that BP cares nothing about the community its properties are in; only about the profits those properties might make. Moreover, it can not be trusted to keep its word about a matter as straightforward as setting aside land for parks in urbanizing areas.

More generally, BP's actions raises a legitimate question about whether the County can trust developers to honor their commitments in proffers to preserve park land for public use. From BP's example, it appears that we can not. Moreover, it points strongly to the need of the County to use more stringent measures to acquire public ownership of needed park land, including the use of eminent domain, rather than trusting development companies to meet public needs.

While no RP&Z recommendation has yet been made on this project, the Reston community must step up and express its concern, if not outrage, as this proposal. The next opportunity to do so will be at next Monday's RP&Z meeting, 7:30PM, Monday, May 19, 2014, at the North County Government Center Community Room.

What they said.

South Reston's Hot, North Reston's Not for the Spandex Crowd

This awesome heat map of local cyclists' activities developed by app company Strava isn't horribly shocking to anyone in the spandex-wearing crowd: The W&OD trail, the unbroken white-hot line snaking northwest from D.C. to Leesburg is basically like I-95, the Cannonball Run, and that Kevin Bacon bicycle messenger movie rolled into one. Suck on that Marylanders, with your crooked, time-consuming bike paths along such time-wasting niceties as "creeks" and "canals"! Us Northern Virginians have places to go, and when our Ford Foci aren't available (and sometimes when they are), we get on the bike paths to get there!

But zoom in on Reston, and things get a little more interesting:



Turns out our miles and miles and miles and miles of Canadian-machinery-patrolled paths can't hold a candle to Lake Fairfax. Looks like literally no one rides in fancypants North Reston, although the not-so-recently dieted Personal Injury Lawyers Road remains a nirvana for the spandex crowd. And then there's that little blob of white-hot activity at Reston Town Center, which we guess means that when cyclists get that craving for carbs at around Mile 36 of their leisurely 45 mph ride back from Purcellville, they know where to find a midscale chain solution to their problems, the end.

Multicolored Pyramid Materializes in South Reston, Prompts 70s Prog-Rock Flashbacks

Our Facebook BFFs at the Reston Association posted these photos of stupefied locals photographing an odd pyramidal structure which fell, presumably from outer space, onto the spillway at Lake Thoreau. We haven't seen anything like it since the Eerie Glowing Squares Invasion of Ought-Thirteen.

Actually, like the Eerie Glowing Squares, the "Pyramid of Light" is a temporary public art project, this one designed by students at South Lakes High School under the auspices of IPAR. It's actually really cool! It also gives us yet another chance to play Reston Built Environment or Pretentious Prog-Rock Album Cover:




Floyd never envisioned canoes approaching their (Alan Parsons) project, so Advantage: Reston.

Somehow, we think the Triffids will be pleased, the end.

Bummer: Reston Native Loses 'Battle of the Decades' on Jeopardy, Though Not to Some Dude From Columbia at Least

Sadness fell on our earth-toned Nirvana at approximately 7:23 pm last evening, as after his earlier triumph, Reston's own Mark Lowenthal failed to advance beyond the semi-finals on Jeopardy's "Battle of the Decades." We were too busy watching the latest cutting-edge Lithuanian buddy comedy, Uter, No! That is My Unicycle From Which You Are Liberating, which had just arrived in our appropriately earth-toned mailbox from our favorite mail-order supplier of Eastern European cinema, Nyetflix. Fortunately, our favorite correspondent, The Peasant From Less Sought-After South Reston, filed a report:

"I'll take homeowners association CEOs who defected to Columbia for $800, Alex."

Once again, regrettably, that shifty son of the north Alex Trebek refuses to acknowledge the existence of flagpole design guidelines, earth tone aesthetics, and homicidal nudist colonies as legitimate Jeopardy categories, instead presenting Reston native Mark Lowenthal questions from such BOR-ING categories as folklore, European rulers, and government medical abbreviations.

Lowenthal, playing in the quarterfinal round of Jeopardy's Battle of the Decades -- a battle royal equaled perhaps only by the Baron Cameron dog park hoopla -- faced off Wednesday against some serious competition: none other than Brad "The Bradinator" Rutter, the show's biggest all-time money winner, and Dan Pawson, the fifth-highest money winner. In this Brouhaha of Bearded Boffins, no one could halt the Bradinator; his advance to the semi-finals was as unstoppable as Sherman's march to the sea or Particleboard's advance into Loudoun.

By the end of the first round, Mark is in third place; although he knew some answers across the board, he couldn't get traction against the Bradinator. We do learn, however, during Alex's chat with the contestants that he is writing an "autobiography" of the Greek god pan. "A lusty fellow," Mark adds, to which the devilish Alex retorts, "Just like you."

As the second round progresses, it becomes a runaway for the Bradinator, especially after he bets $10,000 on a daily double and gives the right answer to an obscure English literature question. We know in our hearts that Mark's fate is sealed when he slightly flubs the correct answer of "Looking for Mr. Goodbar" -- obviously, more time with the cougars at Jackson's would have helped him there.

By the end of round two, the Bradinator is like a runaway Silver Line train pulling into Wiehle, with an uncatchable $32,400 to Dan's $10,200 and Mark's $1,800. All three, however, incorrectly answer the final Jeopardy question dealing with Supreme Court rulings, believing that a 1956 decision referred to a strike rather than the Montgomery bus boycott.

And so the Bradinator lives to fight another day while Mark returns home to the greener pastures of Reston. But kudos to Mark for what he has accomplished during his appearances on Jeopardy dating back to the 1980s. And better yet...we haven't seen any contestants from Columbia in the Battle of the Decades, so put that in your pipe and smoke it (although not on a nature trail with an expensive official no-smoking sign), Uncle Miltie!

So pour one out, as the kids somewhat recently used to say, for Mssr. Lowenthal. This one's for you:

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes Coming to RCA

Colin Mills has announced he is stepping down as president of the Reston Citizens Association, as the organization seeks candidates for five seats on its board of directors. Mills writes:

I’m proud of everything that RCA has accomplished under my leadership. We have raised RCA’s profile tremendously, and made ourselves part of the community conversation again. We have been a strong voice for Reston’s citizens on issues like the Master Plan, transportation, open space, parks and recreation, our library system, and many more. We have forged strong relationship with fellow community organizations like RA, ARCH, Rescue Reston, and others. We have renewed our focus on keeping the citizens informed (one of RCA’s original missions) by hosting and co-sponsoring community forums, producing analytical reports, and starting the new Reston 411 series of quick facts.

Our Reston 2020 Committee has become widely-known and well-respected as an analyst and watchdog on planning and development issues. Terry Maynard’s reports and white papers have become a go-to resource for those who want to understand the community in depth. Our Reston Accessibility Committee has continued to thrive in its mission of improving access to Reston’s facilities for people with disabilities. Their excellent work has earned commendation from Fairfax County, and it has made a real concrete difference at shopping centers, office parks, and buildings all around our community.

Our revived Citizen of the Year Award has grown into a much-loved annual event, and we have recognized some very deserving citizens, including the late Dave Edwards, Nick Brown, Cate Fulkerson, and Kathy Kaplan. We are also in the process of taking primary responsibility for our annual candidate forums, which we have long co-sponsored with John Lovaas and Reston Impact.

Also leaving the RCA board are Terry Maynard, who will continue his work with RCA's Reston2020 committee, and Richard "Dick" Rogers, who will continue his work on transportation issues.

More information and a candidate form can be found here. As it has right from the beginning, RCA has done a lot for Reston of late, and we hope we see the same, decidedly non-Soviet level of interest in serving on its board as we did in the most recent RA elections, the end.

Cashing Out: Does Bank Closing Portend Next Phase of Reston Heights Development?

Central Fidelity Wachovia Wells Fargo will close its Sunrise Valley Drive branch in August, citing the upcoming "redevelopment at Reston International." Does that mean the awesome Reston Heights development, complete with wavy parking garage, is finally on its way?

County records aren't exactly clear. Originally approved by the county board of supervisors in 2008, changes to the plan last year scaled down the height of most of the six proposed buildings, with the exception of a 15-story addition to the existing International Center building, which appears in the rendering above to be taller but None More Black than the original monolith. Recent activity includes changes to proposed plans to allow a drive-in bank and 65,000 square feet of retail space, including "retail sales, eating establishment, fast food restaurant and quick service food stores." (We love Eating Establishment almost as much as the Macaroni Grill, BTW.)

But we digress. While the development's hearing status with county officials remains deferred indefinitely, there have apparently been moves to prepare to advertise a public hearing.

According to JBG's website for the development, the initial phase of construction will focus on "nearly 400 new apartments" and the aforementioned retail space, which will add "even more dining and shopping options to the fabric of Reston." (We assume they meant the earth-toned fabric of Reston, but who's quibbling?) Completion of this phase is estimated for 2017, to be followed by additional residential, retail and office space.

In the meantime, Wells Fargo is opening a new branch in North Point shopping center in June, so your immediate satisfaction with these ch-ch-ch-changes depends on which side of the Toll Road you live on, the end.

Shocker: Former RA CEO Defects to Reston's Satanic Maryland Doppelganger, Hurts Our Tender Fe-Fes

The second time wound up being the charm for former Reston Association CEO Milton Matthews, who after unsuccessfully seeking the post way back in ought-nine, was appointed the new CEO of Reston's Satanic Maryland doppelganger, Columbia, on Friday.

Matthews signed a two-year contract and will make a base salary of $200,000 and be eligible for a bonus of up to 7.5 percent of his salary. As part of his contract, Matthews will have to relocate to Columbia from Rockville, Md., where he currently resides.

But wait -- we thought it was Reston's onerous residency requirement that forced Matthews to reluctantly leave his post in our own earth-toned community last year. Sounds like we might have to face some unpleasant facts -- maybe he Just Wasn't That Into Us. Ouch!

Or maybe, once you've had the chance to oversee a vast homeowners association with stringent exterior trim regulations, even the bright, multicolored (and possibly blinking) lights of Rockville are no consolation.

Milton was chosen from two finalists for the CA job, and it's probably safe to say that Julia Louis-Dreyfus wasn't in the running. Looks like they've got one more thing to add to the #AwesomeColumbia hashtag, the end.

Phriday Photo Pfun Part 3: Pretentious Album Cover or Reston PR Photo?

We've looked at the uncanny similarities between photos of Reston architecture and pretentious progressive rock album covers before. But this photo of the bourgeoise commercial real estate types milling around the still-closed Reston Station grounds captures the kind of angst, alienation, and existential dread that prog-rockers could only dream of. Watch them try and fail:

Bollard-free posers.



Don't think their type will be welcome in Sbarros, much less a vowel-free apartment complex. Get some haircuts and jobs strapping bombs to dolphins in the lucrative federal contracting world, freaks!


Sure, there's warmth and connectedness there (not to mention an authentic urban fabric), but are they within walking distance of a Macaroni Grill? We think not.

Plus, how many so-called "rock and rollers" get to have a fancy lunch in a subterrenean parking garage? (Besides these guys, that is).



Now that's edgy.

Rainpocalypse 2014 Didn't Hold a Candle to Floodmageddon 2011

The piddly 3-7 inches of rain we got this week? Just a sprinkle compared to the insane six-plus inches that fell in one day way back in ought-eleven. Set the controls of the Earth-Toned Wayback Machine to September 2011, and remember the day that the North Reston park and ride (and most of the rest of Reston) flooded:

Schools were closed the next day, and elsewhere in the county, two people died in the floodwaters. That didn't stop these guys:



Thanks for the memories, mother nature.