News and notes from Reston (tm).

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Breaking: Reston Town Center No Longer Such a Gritty Urban Core

Soapy Fountain.jpg

At great personal risk, Twitter operative "Gary" violated the Reston Town Center's draconian photography regulations and shared this exciting photo of the "Mercury Fountain," or whatever it's called, spewing soapy bubbles. "Gary" suspects that someone put dishwasher liquid in the fountain as a wacky prank, but we're wondering if it's all the authentic urban vibes from such edgy, marginal inner-city establishments as Banana Republic and Uno's manifesting themselves in physical form. All in all, the overall message seems to be welcome Ashburnites, and don't worry about that dirty Metro train, the end.


  1. RTC Rent-a-cops should immediately bring that little girl sitting on the edge of the fountain in for questioning.

  2. Thank God someone decided to clean it!

    If I had a dime for every drunk time I peed into - I mean seen drunks peeing into that fountain late at night...

  3. Time for little Mercury's bubble bath!

  4. I hope the detergent was phosphate-free.

  5. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonJune 6, 2012 at 4:02 PM

    Anon 8:18

    We have it on good authority that, shortly after Twitter operative Gary took that shot, an unmarked white pick-up truck similar to those used by the RA came to a screeching halt by the fountain. Mauve-camouflaged RTC commandos who were conducting an extrajudicial rendition jumped out, scooped up Gary, and left the scene at a high rate of speed. It is believed that he is currently being held for interrogation somewhere in Loudoun County at a black site that to the untrained observed appears to be just another particleboard McMansion.

  6. I understand that a zombie attack occured among flesh eating bacteria infected employees of Passion Fish following the Washington Post food critic review that detailed the Defense Department surplus chemicals stocks being used as so-called 'Cajun-style blackened seasonings.',1154055/critic-review.html

    Apparently, Williams-Sonoma had a Department of Homeland Security-banned can of Iranian industrial strength nuclear bath salts that was quickly thrown into the Mercury Fountain with employees of Edibles Incredible! Desserts providing life-saving chemical scrub baptisms of the deranged zombies. The good folk at Edibles Incredible! Desserts are, of course, experienced in the handling of dangerous chemicals while manufacturing $55 cup cakes.

  7. Is the RTC fountain now going to be the river in which all of those affordable housing dwellers are going to pound clean their dirty laundry? If so, then I call dibs on the Rent-a-Washboard concession.


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