Behold the future of Tysons -- a massive, rage-inducing traffic circle where a cloverleaf intersection is today. That's right, what looks like 97 lanes of gridlocked traffic along Rt. 7 and Rt. 123 could someday come together in a smoothly flowing traffic circle, which may or may not be underground (but since Metro's fancy tunnel is right there, presumably it would have to be dug down to Sleestak levels).
So says this teevee news person, apparently with a straight face. This other guy calls the Rt. 7/123 interchange a "historic intersection" (what, did George Washington get into a fender bender there on his way to the now-closed Mortons?) Because irony died sometime earlier in this presidential election cycle, or maybe around the first time Tysons was compared to Paris, he then compares the proposed interchange to that lesser city's L'Etoile, which is a French word which loosely translates to "terrifying hellscape of dented French cars colliding with each other".
They provided this fancy rendering of what this might eventually look like, but we think it's unrealistic. As Tysons spirit animal Paris knows well, you have to put a monument that captures the essence of the city in the center of such an impressive traffic control feature. They have that ugly arch thing, but what would capture the frisson, both past and present, of America's Next Great City for the Tysons circle?
Perfect -- or as they'll soon be saying in Paris-like Tysons, parfait.