News and notes from Reston (tm).

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Caddyshackpocalypse Now: Did Some Kids' YouTube Video Lead an Insurance Giant to Defer a Zoning Appeal? (Probably Not, But It's a Good Story Anyway)

Caddyshackpocalypsenow-new.jpegWhat's a good golf analogy for the decision by Northwestern Mutual Life, aka the "Quiet Company," to defer its Board of Zoning Appeals hearing involving whether it has the right to transform Reston National Golf Course into bollardy midrise goodness? Much as the doleful eyes of a plucky young caddy might inspire a jaded, fading, and quite possibly intoxicated golf pro to do his best one last time by hitting a birdie, or whatever it's called, maybe some actuarial boffin, presumably wearing one of those visors you see in the movies as he's cranking one of those old-timey counting machines, was clicking around the YouTubes during the 15-minute lunch break he was given by Ebenezer his direct supervisor and came across this heartwarming video produced by some kids who live around the golf course:

And maybe, just maybe, said actuarial's heart grew THREE SIZES THAT DAY.

Or maybe the Quiet Company just wanted more time to prepare their case, now that all the opponents of redevelopment have gotten lawyered up real good. Or maybe they think that people will forget about this and get back to their non-golf-course-redevelopment-focused lives and stop having rallies where hundreds of people show up. But the Rescue Reston folks told our BFFs at Patch that that's not going to happen:
"We will not be moved," said Rescue Reston executive director John Pinkman. "We live here, we are not going anywhere. If anything, this delay helps us get better organized and communicate our message to others who have are just becoming aware of this crisis. Not understanding that, is a major miscalculation and an underestimation of our resolve; as was the tactic of trying to slide this redevelopment through quietly."
Now, we're just filthy "web loggers," not media strategists, but we have two words of advice for Rescue Reston's video team for their next masterwork ahead of the rescheduled January hearing with the BZA: puppy videos. That is all.


  1. Sorry kids, but you are about to learn one of the hard lessons of life -- MONEY TALKS.

  2. Yes, more videos of golf course kids frolicking among the Sierra Club-approved gentle rolling fairways of a private golf course in Reston will certainly inspire the Earth First crowd to rally around Operation Rescue Reston's Aborted Golf Course because, afterall, ANTI-anything videos have that power! Just look at how powerful that ANTI-muslim video of a trailer that noboby saw for film that doesn't exist was!

    How's that?

    What do you mean that video didn't cause that riot? That can't be true. We were told from minute one that it DID cause the riot.


    I think it's safe to say that Reston is basically a dead zone for political activism. I mean, really, you'd think that if anything would bring out the political activist types then it would be the case of a zoo director drowning a wallaby!!!

    Not one word of protest from P.E.T.A. about that Reston-based drowned wallaby. Good grief. A drowned wallaby in another town would have merited at least 300 hot Hollywood celebrity members of P.E.T.A. stripping down to their birthday suits in front of the local zoo.

    What happens polically in Reston...metastasizes politically in Reston.

  3. I started out to be an actuary. (for those unfamiliar, an actuary is the bookie for an insurance company.) The first actuarial exams were a breeze for a math major.

    To continue as an actuary I had to learn about insurance law. At this point my son was born. I realized that one day I'd have to face him and say, "Son, your daddy makes his living by cheating widows and orphans."

    So I decided that building chemical weapons would be a more honorable career path.

    Now if I were bookie for Northwestern Mutual, my strategy would be to lie low for about 6 months. Wait until Rescue Reston runs out of momentum/cash. Then cross a few palms with silver. All on the QT. Cue the bulldozers.

  4. More slippery than an eel swimming in astrolube, that's Northwestern Mutual and ( could it be?) the Lerner group, which reportedly asked the golf course owners to chill for a while? Could it be...?


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