News and notes from Reston (tm).

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Meanwhile, in the Anti-Reston: Cops on Bicycles to Singlehandedly Solve Nation's Immigration Crisis, Forever

Hey, remember the time folks in Herndon, our tolerant neighbor to the west, closed its evil day labor center, thereby solving the national immigration crisis forever and ensuring that only native-born Herndonians would have unfettered access to Slurpees and other precious bodily fluids at the Elden Street 7-11? Yeah, that was awesome. Only it didn't quite seem to work, so now Herndon's political elite is coming up with, as they say in the movies, a new plan.

Revoking the ABC licenses of area convenience stores, confiscating bicycles and removing pay phones along Elden Street are but a few suggestions recently offered by Herndon Councilman Dennis Husch in an effort to "make Herndon unwelcoming to illegal aliens."

In a July 16 memo from Husch to Herndon Mayor Steve DeBenedittis and other council members, Husch outlined his intention to reduce the numbers of day laborers who congregate near the intersection of Alabama Drive and Elden Street.

"When action is taken to reduce their numbers, they will seek employment elsewhere," he wrote in the memo.
Sounds great! We sure wouldn't like it if we couldn't ride our bike to the local bodega to get a bumper before calling home from a pay phone. But what other ideas are in store to rid the Herndon area of the scourge of unwanted pay-phone users?
Among them are assigning a police officer and zoning inspector to the area; establishing a room rental permit program and a "pedestrian safety zone" that would prohibit standing along Elden Street between Herndon Parkway and Sterling Road.
Makes sense. If you ban pedestrians, they'll definitely be safe. Any other plans?
"Enough is enough," [Council Member] David Kirby said in an e-mail addressed to the mayor and other council members. "I believe it is time to insist on our HPD Officers get out of the cruisers and walk or ride bicycles (save gas and bring back 'walking the beat') in that area and show their presence."
That doesn't sound menacing at all. But it certainly is thrifty!

All this comes after some sort of secret meeting between Herndon officials and a federal immigration agency. We couldn't quite get the gist of what happened from the article, but it sounds like the upshot is that they'll keep bustin' on the immigrants. If nothing else, that'll ensure they keep raking in the lucrative conference trade.

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