News and notes from Reston (tm).

Monday, March 6, 2017

As RTC Parking Protest Happens, We Suggest More Sponsored Content Topics For Our Elite Shopping Overlords

So that happened.

In the meantime, the elite crisis management team assisting Boston Properties spent good money buying a sponsored article on Reston Now, sharing their account of how great the transition to paid parking has been, arguing that activity from last January to this January is essentially unchanged -- which sounds great until you remember we had a little bit of weather last January. Oh, and people couldn't question the alternative facts discuss the topic because comments were disabled.

We seriously can’t fault Reston Now for this — they clearly designated the letter as sponsored content, they were up front about the fact that comments were disabled, and hey, us filthy “web loggers” have to eat just like everyone else. And Boston Properties and their handlers still seem to be slow to grasp the concept that people, apparently incorrectly, see Reston Town Center as an extension of their community and its unique identity, not just an amalgamation of revenue-generating real estate. Otherwise, why would people care enough to march around over a couple of measly bucks a pop to park there?

But mainly, we’re jealous. We want some of that sweeeeeeeeeet sponsored content cash too, BP! And just take a look at the click-friendly sponsored posts we’re just champing at the bit to write… if the price is right.

The 10 Best Easter Eggs In The Park RTC App (But Not The One Where Your Current Location And Contact Info Is Put Up For Grabs, Allegedly)

Fashion Tips: Which $150 Linen Shirt To Wear While Parking at RTC

Doctors Explain Why Protesting, While A Valid Expression Of Your First Amendment Rights, Will Give You Cooties

Want To Play A Fun Game? You’ll Never Be Able To Guess Which Garage Validates For What Retailer

More Like 666 Loudoun: Why One Loudoun Is The Devil Incarnate, Literally (Don’t Shop There)

Shocker: Driving To Mosaic For Dinner And A Movie Will Give You Scabies (Don’t Shop There)

Warning: Tysons Garages, While Free, Are Filled With Pits Of Angry Rottweilers Who Hunger For Shopper Flesh (Don’t Shop There)

Quiz: Are You Elite Enough To Meet And Greet At RTC?

Crisis Managers: The Unsung Heroes Of 2017 America

Tech Tips: No Your Web Browser Isn’t Glitching, Comments Are Disabled For This Post

Yellow Is Hot in 2017: The Best Outfits To Complement That Bumblebee Strapped To Your Car

Why Vibrant Crowds Are Out And Deserted Cityscapes Peppered With A Handful Of Wealthy Shoppers Are In

Commentary: An Open, Honest and Frank Discussion Among Those Of Us Willing To Accept That Paid Parking Is Here To Stay And There’s Nothing You Can Do About It, Peons!*

(*Comments disabled for this article)

We’ll just be over here, waiting for the wheelbarrow of cash to come rolling in. You’re welcome, Boston Properties, you’re welcome.

Update: More images from Saturday's protest.

And Boston Properties has decided to put its sponsored content in an old-timey "news paper":

Fortunately, comments there have not been disabled, inasmuch as you're welcome to scream at the page all you like, the end.

11 comments:

  1. "Boston Properties and their handlers still seem to be slow to grasp the concept that people, apparently incorrectly, see Reston Town Center as an extension of their community and its unique identity, not just an amalgamation of revenue-generating real estate. "

    Geez, Restonian, stop putting serious thoughts in the middle of your "funny" posts. There's an off chance someone might read them.

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  2. Can Boston Properties even compare the parking habits/durations year over year at this point? I'm not aware of a system in place during January or February 2016 that tracked the habits of parkers. Seems a bit fictitious to me.

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  3. Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf, aka Baghdad BobMarch 6, 2017 at 11:38 AM

    Some actual quotes from the legendary Iraqi Information Minister (Baghdad Bob), as updated by Rob Weinhold (BP Bob)and applied to the RTC protest:

    "The situation is excellent, they are going to try to approach RTC...and I believe their grave will be there."

    "We will slaughter them, Guarang Shah, and his international gang of bastards!"

    "They are sick in their minds. They say they brought 450 protesters into center
    of city. I say to you this talk is not true. This is part of their sick mind."

    "They are becoming hysterical. This is the result of frustration."

    "We are determined to defeat them and destroy them on the walls of our town center, as we are determined to destroy their miserable armies in every Boston Properties spot."

    And finally:

    "I can assure you that those villains will recognize, will discover in appropriate time in the future how stupid they are and how they are pretending things which have never taken place"

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  4. This made my day. Thank you so much for posting this.

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  5. Excellent post as usual. However, you forgot to mention the BP put on their own competing event at the same time as the protest with BS like free ice skating, free rides on a vintage carousel, free s’mores and hot chocolate , etc. Pathetic! This must have come out of Fallston's playbook under the chapter "Shove It In Your Opponent's Face." I didn't know about the newspaper ad, was that in the Post?

    It is amazing the twisted way they are spinning all of this. They really don't care that a large percentage of RTC's consumer base is so pissed off over this that they are losing us forever. BP, I am NEVER coming back to RTC unless you stop this greedy BS and start treating us and your tenant's with respect.

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    Replies
    1. Think the print ad was in the Fairfax Times... which apparently is still a thing. Who knew?

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  6. Walked through Reston Town Center to Hyatt Hotel to catch a cab last Monday evening around 9.40 pm after bus from Government Center was late to arrive there so missed my connection.

    The place was deserted. Most restaurants were either closed or closing with very few patrons visible. If the parking fees were really about commuters using Metro, they would end at 5 pm

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    Replies
    1. I agree that business is definitely down, but to be fair, a Monday night at 9:40 PM is not the best time to take a measurement.

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    2. That's the thing with Crystal City. Metro is an issue, but its free to park most places after 4pm.

      Delete
  7. Just think "propaganda" is taught in schools - your kid can even get a degree in it, of course it is called "public relations". From the Boston Tea Party to Boston Properties. Only in what used to be called America.

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