News and notes from Reston (tm).

Thursday, January 14, 2016

VY ask VY? Pretentious New Reston Development Names Popping Up Faster Than Bollards

VY

Forget BLVD. Vowel-free living is for renters, silly rabbits! Apparently the new development hawtness for 2016 is inscrutable abbreviations, as we're seeing in the rapidly rising new section of Reston Heights, which apparently stole a (sometimes) vowel from the apartment complex on the other, apparently more Welsh, side of the Toll Road.

That's right, the new mixed-use development rising from the ashes of the not-quite-a-multiplex-turned-midscale chain diner and 7-11 won't be known as "Chilis II: Electric Boogaloo," or even "Popeye's View" as we had hoped. Instead, it will be called -- wait for it -- VY. Give us some good marketing-speak blockquote, BFFs at Reston Now:

VY is an abbreviation of very, and creates a unique word that allows us to inject further meaning into it when the marketing campaign is launched. Once the name VY is inserted within the context of the brand, it will evoke the vitality and velocity of this new addition to Reston Heights.
Funny, we thought it was shorthand for "vie," as in "you'll vie with approximately 30,000 other harried drivers to get to Reston Parkway once this gets built."

It's all about the #brands, people. But why stop there? From a marketing perspective, the rest of Reston is looking as tired as a shag-carpeted conversation pit (also on offer in many of our finer neighborhoods). It's time for a major rebrand:

Reston Town Center: GRTTY

Reston National Golf Course: (tie) Barrister's Delight or THS SPC VLBL

Hunters Woods: HY (short for "HY nuisance crime rates")

South Lakes Village Center: Pirates' Cove

Tall Oaks Village Center: (blank space)

North Reston: Moneybags emoji

South Reston: Reston's Dixieland

That other part of Reston: The '190

Lake Anne: That emoji of a dollar sign with wings flapping away

RA: That emoji of a dollar sign with wings flapping away

At $350/hr for creative branding consulting, that comes to approximately $5.14 in pro bono work. You're welcome, Reston, you're welcome.

9 comments:

  1. Inject further meaning into "FU"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Francis Underwood? Felix Unger? Francis Urquhart?

      Delete
  2. Developers are looking to "inject" a lot more than further meaning into that empty space across Sunrise Valley from VY.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Vowels For Reston!January 15, 2016 at 9:35 AM

    "It will evoke the vitality and velocity of this new addition to Reston Heights."

    One word: BARF!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bowels for Reston!January 15, 2016 at 9:38 PM

      Two words: Oy Vy!

      Delete
  4. Th Psnt Frm Lss Sght Ftr Sth RstnJanuary 15, 2016 at 9:56 AM

    Good news, Restonians! Hearing of our plight, the Finnish towns of Kankaanpaa, Haapajarvi, and Uusikaupinki have generously offered their excess vowels to us. Any not needed here will be donated to the Welsh town of Crymmych.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great idea; just a slight modification: the name is Uusikaupunki.

      Delete
  5. Reston's always been in need of a good vowel movement...

    ReplyDelete

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