Pay no attention to a sun bright enough to cast shadows. That one cloud above the salt truck in the (otherwise) bright blue sky was all we needed to see to prompt us to slam on our brakes and abandon our car on the shoulder of Reston Parkway. "Do not pass," indeed.
It would be irresponsible to incite panic, but if you're not out frantically buying blankets, flashlights, bread, milk, toilet paper, beer, chewing gum, leaf storage bags, coffee filters, bath bombs, a Mousetrap board game, party packs of frozen flans, industrial-strength hairnets and spare knitting needles, you must have
RELAC-chilled ice water running through your veins, the end.