News and notes from Reston (tm).

Thursday, August 2, 2012

With Purchase of Rendered Chicken Bits, Culture War Won Forever

Sandwich folks.jpeg

This fancy Twitter picture shows the scene of ABSOLUTE CHAOS at the Reston Chick-Fil-A yesterday, which for one day became Ground Zero of the complex and nuanced debate currently underway in this country -- a debate in which reasonable people are discussing in rational ways how best to reconcile and respect conflicting and overlapping value systems, including the role of the state, personal and spiritual beliefs, human rights, generational change, and, above all, the deliciousness of rendered chicken scraps pulled from the walls of industrial abattoirs and reconstituted into "nuggets." Fortunately, this isn't Communist Russia (yet), so people were able to express their God-given Constitutional rights of free expression by purchasing waffle fries from one purveyor of pre-processed industrial food instead of another purveyor of pre-processed industrial food (i.e., those godless heathens at Popeyes). Frankly, this "web logger" hasn't seen such a powerful example of societal change in action since Chicago 1968, when anti-war protestors boldly defied existing social and political norms and went en masse to a Jack in the Box.

Fellow "web logger" Marooned in Marin ("currently living in exile in Fairfax County, Va.") posted a web log post that proudly displayed a photo of the mass-market chicken product he purchased at said establishment under the words "Chew on this Libs!"

Waffle fries.jpeg
"This is what freedom tastes like," he wrote. We couldn't agree more.


  1. The right of free range homosexual Chick-fil-a chickens to marry will not be realized until Paula Deen is reborn as a vegan transgendered low calorie weed carrier for Chaz Bono.

  2. Janis "Burger Queen" JoplinAugust 3, 2012 at 10:10 AM

    Freedom's just another word for nothing left to chew.

  3. So, eating this greasy, gristly simulacrum of food is political activism. The Founding Fathers would be so proud.

  4. @12:29

    Clearly you have never eaten chick fil a.

    It is delicious, which makes the sacrifices of those who oppose Cathy yet enjoy the product so difficult...

  5. Anon 11:07, I most certainly have eaten at Chik Fil A! There are far better places to get your grease on. I stand by my "simulacrum of food" assessment.

  6. Broke in Charter OakAugust 6, 2012 at 3:59 PM

    In spite of the fact that I had my shirt and shoes on, they still refused to serve me. I guess they just can't appreciate assless chaps.


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