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Monday, December 27, 2010

Holiday Leftovers: Help Pick the Names of Reston's Awesome New Metro Stations

Metro station names.jpg

Names are destiny -- or something similarly badass we think we remember from the movie 300 or maybe Teletubbies 3D. Anyhoo, there's been lots of talk about picking good names for the three Reston-area Metro stations to help define their "identity," inasmuch as midscale chain retail and parking garages can have an identity, and the lists above came from a meeting last month. Descriptive, perhaps, but they don't exactly "pop," do they?

Below are a few suggestions for station names with a bit more "zzyzz," as the kids today don't say.

Wiehle Avenue
Mauve Gulch
Civic Plaza/Bennetons Station
Bollardville
Reston East/National Museum of Rad '80s Art

Reston Parkway
Gritty Urban Core/Unos Station
Targetville North
Macaroni Grill South
RA Headquarters Station*
(*pending foreclosure proceedings)

Herndon-Monroe
Vulgartown
Grand Green Boulevard/Pei Wei Station
Crumblin' Parkin' Garage
Li'l Bavaria Shopping Center/Downtown Herndon

Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments.

11 comments:

  1. Just Bought A Particleboard MansionDecember 27, 2010 at 2:57 PM

    LOL!

    Shouldn't it be "Fanciful Bollardville"?

    I'd like to suggest "Fake Downtown Reston" for Reston Parkway. Targetville North has a certain ring to it though.

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  2. Some dude on Twitter suggested "Ebola-B-Gone" for Wiehle Avenue. I prefer "Welcome to the Monkeyhouse," myself.

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  3. How about "Prius Parking Only" for the grant Wiehle parking garage, courtesy of the largesse of Fairfax County

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  4. "Herndon" should not appear in the final Metro stop. The parking is in Reston and the town of Herndon isn't helping out with traffic issues. Maybe a name of "Day Laborers Who Commute Station" would be nice?

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  5. My suggestions:

    Comstock Calamity--for the UGLIEST development this side of Crystal City at Wiehle.

    Developers' Dream--for the intense, office-centric, congestion-inducing, infrastructure-less, non-residential development proposed at Reston Parkway

    WTF!--for the area near Monroe. No plan, no Herndon cooperation, no nothin'!

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  6. "Li'l Bavaria". I like it and I totally understand its impact as such a name. I drove past it after 20 odd years in Europe and said "What the F....?!" My mother and I refer to it as "Faux Bavaria". Rather like "Faux News". (Sorry: that's "Fox News" to you in 20147....)

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  7. weihle ave has to be McTacohut!

    Smyersville is just fine for the Parkway.

    since "herndon-monroe" is still within the reston boundary, it should be Reston West/Polo.

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  8. Don't forget that there's money to be made by letting local Universities (or a convincing facsimile) tack their names onto stations. They pay for that right on the rest of the metro system, right? Wiehle could be "Reston East/NOVA/Marymount at Suicide W&OD Crossing". And if the University of Phoenix can sponsor the Arizona Cardinals' stadium, surely they can pony up for the naming rights to "Reston Center - Phoenix U West", don't you think? As for Herndon, do they have any universities? Or residents who have attended one?

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  9. Great idea 11:11... How about the Reston Land Use College Station??

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  10. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonDecember 30, 2010 at 5:30 PM

    Wiehle Avenue: Instead of Mauve Gulch, how about "Red Mulch Gulch" to stick it to the (DRB)man?

    Reston Parkway: In honor of our recently uprooted and much-beloved commenter on the charms of Reston Town Center, how about "BiCO Urban Nightmare"?

    Herndon-Monroe: In honor of Dear Leader, how about "Simon Says Stop", as in "stop, you're leaving Reston"?

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  11. I myself prefer something simple like Larry, Curly and Mo. In that same vain, we could also name them Dewey, Cheatham and Howe.

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