News and notes from Reston (tm).

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Consume! Consume! Consumers Line Up Overnight Outside Retail Establishment to be First to Consume, Fulfill Semiotic Self-Identification With Consumer Product

Meet "Jeremy," who lined up in front of the Apple Store in Reston's Fake Downtown at 8 last night, in hopes of being the first to get one of the new fancy cellular phones with built-in Twitters or whatever the kids are so crazy about these days. Or maybe he thinks he's camping out for Bobby Sherman tickets. Who knows?

According to this "web logger," there were at least 200 people waiting in line at 5:30 am for one of the fancy new iPhones. Please to be enjoying this grainy, Wire-like video of a ruly mob queuing up.

Won't they be disappointed when the doors open and they realize they've been waiting to get into the Pottery Barn?

Update: Reston web logger "Snarkshelf" posted this exciting photo of someone consulting their iPhone to check on the wait for an iPhone.

The universe has officially collapsed into itself.


  1. Only at a Star Trek Convention, or perhaps at Jackson's, could you ever see so many dorky dudes without a good looking female in sight.

  2. Life is too short to stand in line for gadgets.

  3. Does that new thang help them get dates?

  4. @anon 12:25 pm

    There *is* an app called Grinder... but I don't think it'll help them get dates with girls.

  5. That's in front of the Apple store? I thought it was happy hour at Jackson's. Oh, wait, not enough suits....

  6. 12:25 - "Date? What's a date?"

    This makes it official - our fake downtown is now officially to be known as New Dork City.

  7. Hry, iPhones are nice to talk about. We have another problem. State of Virginia is refusing to pay its share of our Metro funding. We need the Metro.

  8. Metro to Reston: sooo 2002

    iPhone 4: deliciously 2010

  9. Hey, James Lileks mentioned Reston today!
    He seems a bit doubtful as to Reston's actual existence:

  10. I think Restonian owes it to us to buy that magazine and scan in the article.

  11. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonJune 25, 2010 at 5:58 PM

    Anons 9:30 and 5:11:

    No need for Restonian to reach into his emergency fund for RA assessment increases and buy that "maga-zine". Here's the relevant part of Lileks' comments:

    "Did most of my writing outside, and took a break to look through a copy of American Home I picked up at an antique store the other day. 1965."

    "The magazine had a big layout on a new planned community called “Reston,” which was going to change the way people lived. And it did, if people lived in Reston, I suppose. It looks grim today, what with all the raw naked poured concrete, but those were the styles that pointed to the sensible, technocratic future. I spent a year living in an enormous project designed in the brutal concrete style, and it was like a machine for grinding souls into wet paste. Planned communities work best when the visuals go backwards, not forwards."

    But wait! There's more!

    Commenter "Borderman" writes in response to that passage:

    "Lived in Alexandria and commuted to my high school job in Reston on Saturdays, Jan.-Sept. 1968, for a start up electronics firm that I see still has a phone listing at the same address. Was so trendy to mention you worked in Reston back then. As if you were pals with Ayn Rand or something".

    Being but a humble peasant, I admit that I did not know who Lileks was at first, but I now see he is a blogger of some renown. I thought the following line from his Wikipedia entry a particularly interesting comment about his Website:

    "His section dissecting the works of cheesecake artist Art Frahm, for instance, observes the devastating effects of celery on the gravitational pull of women's underwear."

  12. Amongst the 'Hoods in Colvin WoodsJune 25, 2010 at 6:43 PM

    I don't know. I'd date the dude in the first pic.

  13. Lileks can eat a pile of turd and choke on it.

    He lived in a concrete bldg, but did not live in Reston.

    He should be staked to the football field at South Lakes and have his entrails eaten by an angry Seahawk!

  14. Is it just me, but doesn't Jeremy have that "pull my finger" look about him?


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