News and notes from Reston (tm).

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

@#$%!ng Reston and #%!ng Herndon: America's Most Obscene Cities

r135Expose-Yourself-to-Art-Posters.jpgThis will likely shock no one who's read some of the recent comments on this filthy "web log," but Reston and Herndon both made the list of the 10 most obscene cities in the U.S. Just another feather in our caps, along with being a great place for old nerds and political junkies.

Sadly, this newest honor doesn't mean they're putting up a burlesque joint in Brown's Chapel Park or opening an X-rated video store on Elden Street. Instead, The Business Insider did some Google-fu to determine which cities were home to the most obscene search terms. They claimed they were doing this because such statistics can play a role in obscenity trials, but we all know they really started typing cuss words into a search engine for the same reason scientists strap missiles to dolphins -- because it's fun.

Anyhoo! Reston ranked #5 nationwide. Here's what they had to say:

This sleepy suburb of Washington D.C. loves to Google dirty words, placing in the top ten for six of seven words -- but often in the middle of the pack.
Judging by our own traffic logs, people also like to Google the word "mauve" a lot.

Yay! Bad words! #5 isn't bad, but it doesn't hold a candle to our tolerant and foul-mouthed neighbor to the west. That's right -- Herndon is the most freakin' obscene city in the country, and by extension the free world!
D.C. suburb Herndon is in the heart of the area's tech corridor and right next to Dulles Airport. It's also the top-ranking obscene Googler for three of our seven terms, including the F-bomb.
Sweet! Who doesn't love the F-bomb, after all?

(Hat tip to the Observer's Twitters for catching this.)

27 comments:

  1. Is mauve an off-color word?

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  2. Res-tan is full of motherfuschian puce-ies.

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  3. Is it possible they're googling those words because they don't actually know what they mean...? After all, considering the comments on the last post, there are a fair number of willfully ignorant people living in our midst.

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  4. Relax. Take it from me: There's also such a thing as being ignorant of humor.

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  5. The kind of stuff in some of the comments on the last post isn't humor. I love a good joke and think Ambrose Bierce is a scream, but those comments weren't witty or sophisticated - they were just downright racist.

    Humor: Wit: a message whose ingenuity or verbal skill or incongruity has the power to evoke laughter.

    Racism: the prejudice that members of one race are intrinsically superior to members of other races

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  6. Hey, 5:32, here are some colors for you. How about dumass grey? Or maybe humor-challenged green?

    Get over yourself already.

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  7. hahaha...

    irony- a self-righteous person who can't spell "dumbass."

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  8. No, it was intentional. I use it a lot, especially when referring to the Surrender Monkeys. You know, Dumass instead of Dumas. If spelled properly some people would probably get confused and think "What's a 'dum bass'? Do they mean to imply that somebody's some kind of stupid freshwater fish?"

    But since we're being self-righteous, methinks it should properly be "dumb ass". I don't think that "dumbass" has yet been officially accepted into the English lexicon. Most of the on-line reference books that I have found show that "dumbass" is slang.

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  9. Cheese fries eating freedom monkeyNovember 11, 2009 at 11:53 AM

    Anon 8:58 Keep telling yourself that you are not racist. You might actually convince someone. (yourself, because you are not convincing any one else.)

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  10. I didn't realize, 11:53, that you were qualified to speak for "any one else". Maybe you meant that "...because you are not convincing [me]".

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  11. The actual truth of the matter is that Herndon/Reston area data centers route traffic into the internet from dialup users nationwide thanks to the likes of AOL.

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  12. Anonymous 7:12, 8:58 and probably 12:54...grow up.

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  13. Cogent argument there, 2:59. I see that I am clearly dealing with a superior intellect.

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  14. How appropriate that you chose Peter Pan. If you've ever read the original (not the Disney version), you can see that it is a very dark story of childish selfishness and mean spiritedness. Understandable in a child, but in supposedly civilized adults, pretty unattractive.

    No superior intellect here, just more maturity.

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  15. You've read Peter Pan? I AM impressed. I guess that I'm just an illiterate, uneducated, culturally-deprived, immature racist heathen who should lie prostrate in the presence of your moral superiority. In case you haven't figured it out, Tinker Bell, BFD.

    I see all those years of Law school have done wonders for your argumentation skills. Or is it just enough to claim it, just like the moral high ground? You're make claims of "racism" and "immaturity" but you have failed to back them up with facts and details. In fact, your arguments, because they lack substance, are pretty much amount to nothing more than name-calling.

    In short, your "nanni nanni boo boo" arguments aren't going to work here, Tink, because I'm going to invoke the "Sticks and Stones" counter-argument.

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  16. Broke in Charter Oak (BiCO)November 12, 2009 at 8:52 AM

    Yes! I'm no longer the most hated "regular" on this "filthy web log!" :-) Might I FINALLY be blending in, just like our earth-toned dwelling units? What's next? Will Cathy Hudgins or Robin Smyers give me a hug? :-)

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  17. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonNovember 12, 2009 at 9:28 AM

    BiCO:

    Be careful what you wish for -- do you really want to be smooched by Smudgins?

    And I don't think anyone on this filthy Web log "hates" you. Your contributions are always enjoyable to read and quite coherent, even if we don't all entirely agree with your vision of smart growth. Your description in another post of the view from your office window in beautiful "downtown" Tysons Corner was a classic.

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  18. PP,

    I think you are conflating at least two dissenting voices to your racist commentary.

    What is fatal to your argument is that you base it on some kind of race-based immunity: as in since you claim membership/affiliation with a race you cannot possibly be racist vis-a-vis that race.

    If you make a racist comment, your personal race will not make said comment any less racist.

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  19. Waiting for Tinker Bell to jump into this discussion...

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  20. Eh, she's in DC sprinkling fairy dust on the Catholic church, which is aggravating them to no end.

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  21. CH,
    That's not clear to me. So one white guy calling another white guy a "honky" on the bus is or isn't racist?

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  22. 5:30,

    "White trash, redneck, cracker or honkey" is a racist pejorative no matter who is saying it black, white, latino or otherwise.

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  23. Cap'n, I see that you've been into Tinker Bell's fairy dust again.

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  24. The last refuge of the lost argument: ad hominem.

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  25. Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock.

    Nope. It's just my way of saying that I think that you are an over-sensitive, control freak who seems intent on wrecking everybody's fun (just like Cap'n Hook)by cramming your PC agenda down everybody's throat.

    If you can't laugh at yourself, including who you are, then you've gone a long way towards becoming a stuffy, humorless curmudgeon.

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  26. PP, your awesome-

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  27. Apparently Reston is also home to America's most useful commentary as well. I'm so glad I read this through to the bottom...

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