News and notes from Reston (tm).

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Reston Photo Pfun: Clone Armies and Copied Slogans

Bob S.jpg
So hey, check out this slick "post card" we received from a uniformed federal agent at Restonian World HQ, alerting us about the upcoming Reston: The Magazine. It's all very exciting, but hopefully there will be an article in the first issue explaining how the RA managed to clone Bob Simon. Perhaps they borrowed the DNA sequence the Reston Museum used to create this shocking triumph of earth-toned science.

Meanwhile, let's look at what's doing in "Fairfax County's downtown," beautiful Tysons Corner. As one of our commenters pointed out, there's something oddly familiar about the slogan on their filthy "web site," which, other than the conspicuous lack of photos of Crystal Koons, paints a rosy picture of the future of our favorite collection of crappy office parks and car dealerships.

Picture 1.jpg
Plagiarism -- it's gonna wow ya!


  1. Broke in Charter Oak (BiCO)November 12, 2009 at 8:44 AM

    I, too, received the notice about the upcoming Reston Magazine and look forward to reading it. However, I was under the assumption that only property OWNERS were members of the RA? I rent, and, to my knowledge, have never paid a monthly due to the RA for the benefit of living in our awesome mauve paradise. Are homeowners in Reston aware that a portion of their fees are going to be spent to distribute these publications to apartment-dwellers, or do apartment management entities in Reston pay a high enough fee to the RA to justify distribution to renters? Furthermore, I wonder if the RA fee is already "built-in" to my monthly rent (it would explain why I pay $1,135 without utilities for a 1-BR unit without any amenities).

    Touching upon the second issue of our fabulous "downtown" of Fairfax County that lies 20 minutes to our east and is lined with fast-food restaurants and used car lots I have seen the generic "Live. Work. Play." moniker used in MANY other circumstances as well in both PA and VA. Couldn't they have come up with something a bit more original? Just off the top of my head I can think of "Tyson's Corner: If you lived here you could endure this traffic congestion and play Frogger as you cross our high-speed eight-lane freeways even on weekends!"

    It is an EMBARRASSMENT to call an armpit like Tyson's Corner our "downtown." I'm not a typical fresh transplant who likes to say "Back North we did things so much better," but in just this one case I will indeed say NoVA needs to take a cue from the Northeast on what a "downtown" truly IS and SHOULD BE. It should be a place that doesn't only have "big shiny buildings" but also has some elements of charm and soul to it that will entice people to want to come and experience a sense of community. Reston Town Center got it about half-right and is getting better with the more community-oriented elements that it incorporates. However, right now Tyson's Corner feels like working in a 1980s-era cartoon environment---very depressing. (Looking out office window at the sheer beauty of a Wendy's that he can't access via foot, a porn shop ironically next to a mattress store, a Metrorail site that has been under construction since 1492, dozens of Loudoun County soccer moms on their cell phones in SUVs speeding on Route 7, and orange construction cones, half of which are knocked over). Gee. That's EXACTLY what I would have wanted the Tyson's Corner of 2009 to have resembled as a 1979 urban planner! Success! (Rolls eyes!)

  2. Broke in Charter Oak (BiCO)November 12, 2009 at 8:58 AM

    P.S. Would Crystal Koons like a dorky-looking lower-middle-class yuppie as her better half? :-)

  3. Hi BiCO
    "It should be a place that doesn't only have "big shiny buildings" but also has some elements of charm and soul to it that will entice people to want to come and experience a sense of community." I think you should write this quote up and send it to the FxCo Board of Supervisors. The cold-blooded monstrosity they plan for New Tysons isn't going to entice anybody--residents or businesses. They also want to extend this monstrosity right through the center of Reston. We'll have our own Berlin Wall. With only two roads across it, never north or south Reston shall meet again.

  4. Here's an article taking a stab at the origins of the liveworkplay motto:


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