News and notes from Reston (tm).

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Meanwhile, in the Anti-Reston: Polite Language and Broader Powers for Police

evil spock.jpegIt's been a while since we've checked up on our tolerant neighbor to the west. What's been doin' over in Herndon?

Well, after Herndon was ranked the most obscene city in America last week, leaving Reston in the dust at comparatively pathetic #5, town officials sprung to action. Actually, they just wrote a snide press release, joking about responding to the news in a "polite, mannerly way."

So – are Herndon citizens living dual lives, raising their families and working hard at their careers by day and frantically entering words they didn't learn from their mothers into search engines by night?

Not so fast, says Herndon Mayor Steve DeBenedittis. “Herndon, and in fact the entire Dulles Corridor, is fortunate to be home to leading technology companies, including internet service providers,” he explains. “Therefore, much Web traffic that goes through Herndon likely originates elsewhere in the region. Google Trends, the source of Business Insider’s "research," can only attribute traffic to a region. It can't pinpoint it to an exact location – such as a 4.2 square mile town.”

Adds DeBenedittis, “That probably also explains why our upstanding neighbor to the east, Reston, is also high on this list. I'm sure Reston citizens will echo the sentiments of Herndon citizens by extending an open invitation to all to hop on the toll road and come see us – a community with a rich culture and a proud heritage, where our favorite four-letter word is "home."
Hahahahaha! Cussin' aside, the town has been busy on its other favorite front: finding fun new ways to detain illegal immigrants. Under broader powers granted by federal customs officials, Herndon police will now have the right to perform immigration status checks on anyone detained for any reason.
In March 2007, the Herndon Town Council voted to make Herndon the first incorporated town in America to allow U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement to train and empower local officers to enforce federal immigration law.

"It is clear that the Herndon Police Department's application of the authority to enforce federal immigration law under the 287(g) program has been very successful and has made Herndon a much safer place to live and raise a family," said Town Councilman Dennis Husch.

"During the period from January 2008 through June 2009, Herndon Police prepared, and DHS ICE approved, 179 deportation detainers to remove criminal illegal aliens from the Herndon community."

Previously, immigration status checks were limited to people detained for driving under the influence and other serious felonies. Under the new agreement, those restrictions were removed and now anyone being detained will have their immigration status checked.
On the one hand, sweeping federal powers! On the other hand, illegal immigrants! Lou Dobbs and Glenn Beck would be so conflicted.

9 comments:

  1. Broke in Charter Oak (BiCO)November 18, 2009 at 2:18 PM

    What? Those large groups of young Hispanic males congregating near the 7-11 along Elden Street weren't paid members of Herndon's welcoming committee?

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  2. No, BiCO, they're hard at work doing all those jobs Americans don't want to do.

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  3. Lolz at the Dobbs/Beck comment.

    Though the members of the "welcoming committee" who are still standing around after about 9:30 a.m. are just there to party. Drinking booze on the street corner. One dude in the town's police reports has been arrested at least 5 or 6 times - possibly more - in the past three months for standing out there drunk.

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  4. I'm sure after a short while the regular gathering becomes a small society, with all that entails.

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  5. The Convict in the GulagNovember 19, 2009 at 8:17 AM

    Hudgins & Company could stand to learn from the enlightened policies of the Herndon Town Council and the Prince William Board of Supervisors. "Illegals" are exactly that, and need to be chased from this country.

    Now there's a scary thought. I never thought that I would use the words "enlightened" and "Herndon Town Council" in the same sentence.

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  6. Finally, Herndon gets to get rid of their trash.

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  7. Broke in Charter Oak (BiCO)November 20, 2009 at 9:49 AM

    "Jobs that Americans don't want to do?" Does this mean that I could pay one of them to pretend to be in love with me, and they won't complain?! :-) WOOO!! No more loneliness while hearing my neighbors being "happy" at night!

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  8. No one really knows if Herndon's 287(g) is a success or not, as apparently no one in the HPD keeps score as to how many of their "detainers" were actually deported vs how many returned to Herndon after they were released from the FC Adult Detention Center...

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  9. That is wonderful news. Illegal is exactly that -- illegal.

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