News and notes from Reston (tm).

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Snubbed: Reston Again Bested In Best Places To Live List By Stripmall-Centric Yet Pleasantly Earth-Toned Vienna

It's a good thing Kasey Kasem is no longer with us, as the dulcet tones of him intoning "falling out of the countdown" would be too much to bear now that we've learned that Reston was completely snubbed by Money magazine's annual list of milquetoast edge cities best places to live this year.

Our favorite earth-toned community peaked at #7 back in ought-twelve, dropping three big notches to #10 last year. It isn't the first snub of late by Money. In past years, we've been bested by our satanic Maryland doppelganger, cloverleaf intersection Centreville, and tattoo parlor and pawnshop-intensive Manassas Park (or "the MP," as the kids probably don't call it). And let's not forget our neighbor to the east, Vienna. Vienna, which once again bested us, coming in at #48 this year. Here's what Money has to say about that assortment of monochrome brown strip malls and McMansions:
As Tysons undergoes a major transformation from being a mostly commercial area to one with a healthy mix of commercial and residential living—Fairfax County projects Tyson’s population could soar from 21,803 people today to more than 100,000 by 2050—Vienna is bracing for potential overcrowding, higher living expenses, and increased traffic in an area already known for brutal congestion. The shift could also raise housing costs, which are the town’s main drawback; the median sale price now exceeds $660,000.
And these are good things? Also we thought our houses were going to be the ones that doubled in value!

The only other DC-area towns that made the list were all in Maryland -- some place called "North Laurel" (is that like "West McLean"?), Damascus, and Urbana (which isn't, especially.) All ranked higher than Vienna, and by way of illustration of their awesomeness in the eyes of the Money editors, we submit their dramatic photo of Anywhere U.S.A. Damascus, where even dreary clouds and drizzle aren't enough to obscure the even more dreary McMansions scattered haphazardly across a treeless field of desolate suburban nightmares dreams.

Wow. If that's what they were going for, we're shocked that Ashburn wasn't #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9 and #10, the end.

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