News and notes from Reston (tm).

Thursday, December 18, 2014

BREAKING: Macaroni Grill Closes, Takes With It All Our Hopes And Dreams (Updated)

FOUR-SIREN ALARM NEWS. Reston, we may have sampled our last all-you-can-eat breadstick platter.

According to several Confidential Restonian Operatives, the Macaroni Grill is now closed -- a turn of events so shocking, so unanticipated that it forced Your Restonian to pick up our cellular telephone and do some "reporting," as journalists apparently call it. It is with a heavy heart that we can confirm that our favorite bastion of midscale chain dining and symbol of misguided big box Reston development is no more, all remnants of its memory scrubbed from the Macaroni Grill website like a Trotskyite in mid-century Russia:

Screen Shot 2014 12 18 at 2 16 23 PM
They said that when the Soviet Union finally collapsed, it all happened so quickly that no one even saw it coming. This is kind of like that, only involving carb-laden appetizers instead of tanks.

It is with a heavy heart that we will update the Macaroni Grill Doomsday Clock for the last time later today. There are no words, just an empty hole in our heart that high-carb appetizers can no longer fill.

Update: This part stinks worse than day-old rigatoni:

Screen Shot 2014 12 18 at 3 11 26 PM
Sad.

Our Favorite Correspondent, The Peasant From Less Sought After South Reston, suggested this image to represent the ticking of the final second of the Macaroni Grill Doomsday Clock, urging us to think of the red streaks as "burst cans of industrial strength tomato sauce."

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Not bad, assuming you came of age during the golden age of the graphic novel. Us, we like our Sad Poneez:

Macaroni Grill 1158Update to the Update: The sign that promised weary travelers serious carbs and easy living is ALREADY GONE. The monsters.

2014 12 19 15 29 28
That festive wreath near the ground isn't fooling anyone.

Update: There's now an online fundraising campaign for the unceremoniously laid off Reston Macaroni Grill employees. A former hourly manager there writes:

Over my 4 years with the company the employees there became my family and now 33 hard working people, many with children and no other source of income, are now unemployed the week before Christmas.

I am asking for your help to make this incredibly trying time easier for the countless employees that devoted years to a restaurant that showed little courtesy to it's devoted team members.

Please spread the word and the cheer of the holiday season. Any donation of any size is appreciated.
As of Dec. 22, $600 had been raised, including a $300 donation from the former general manager.

23 comments:

  1. I don't want to live in this world any more.

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  2. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  3. Come on now, Olive Garden is unlimited breadsticks; MG is unlimited little loaves of bread. Sheesh.

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  4. Awful for the employees...especially ones hat have been there more than 15 years...no notification = awful business owners!!

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  5. Yes, and in the manner you have found out, their employees found out. This closure was horribly handled by macaroni grill. Many employees who have tenure nearing TWO DECADES were left hanging and only finding out by trying to open the door to start their work day. Horrible.

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  6. Time to reset the doomsday clock...

    What's next, the Worst Buy next door?

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  7. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonDecember 18, 2014 at 9:37 PM

    The end of mauve civilization as we know it.

    (And congrats, Restonian, for scooping your BFFs at Reston Now on this breaking news, although they graciously acknowledged, and we are quoting here, "the closure was first reported by Restonian.org".

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  8. I haven't been this sad since they started listing calorie counts on the Cheesecake Factory menu.

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  9. Any truth to the rumor it's going to become a golf course ... or a bocce court?

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    Replies
    1. RA is going to turn it into indoor tennis courts. Watch for it on next year's assessment!

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  10. I drive past it at least four times a day, and I never even noticed it was closed.

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  11. Indeed, I saw the sign removed from the building as I headed to the t-mobile store, and my first thought was "oh shit, I have to call Restonian!" ..shortly followed by "oh, wait, Restonian is an anonymous coward like me, and he lacks a news tip line.. so I will use the interwebs!" But, of course, you were already on it.

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  12. And with Chili's closing in a week or so, all of us must redouble our efforts to find mediocre yet predictable corporate midscale dining in the greater Reston metroplex.

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    Replies
    1. Chili's has come a long way (downhill, that is) since its original incarnation as an inexpensive fast casual place, with a simple, folded one-page menu sheet , basic burgers and salads, and 3-for-$4.95 soft veggie tacos. Now it sucks like everyplace else.

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  13. Gasp! I just discovered that if you rearrange the letters in the phrase "macaroni grill, best buy, and the container store" you get ... "going the way of tall oaks center, 7-11, and video rental store".

    Wait a minute.

    Never mind.

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  14. The Grill is gone?!?

    What is a carboholic to do???

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  15. Dear Diary,
    The place where waitresses write their names upside down using crayons has closed.

    I will miss your oil and pepper.

    BuckDog

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  16. Below is a link to a fund to help the employees that were unceremoniously let go. Any help during this difficult time is appreciated. Thanks and Happy Holidays.

    http://www.gofundme.com/macreston

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  17. Hopefully they can hit up the new Glory Days that is hiring: http://patch.com/virginia/reston/glory-days-grill-opening-soon-reston-0?utm_source=article-mostrecent&utm_medium=rss&utm_term=business&utm_campaign=recirc&utm_content=aol

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  18. We should have seen the end was in sight when the "new" set of bartenders started to chill the Sambuca so they could serve it is shots. It was not very Italian at the end. Instead the bar servers seemed to hope to remake it into a night time hotspot. No wonder the owners closed it!

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  19. I peed there once. It was nice. On the sidewalk. Spelled Macaroni Girl by accident. My mom clapped anyway. Memco was a lot easier.

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  20. Wait--the Macaroni Grill closed?

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