News and notes from Reston (tm).

Friday, January 31, 2014

The Da Reston Code: Are Subliminal Messages Hidden in DRB Word Find?

Word Find 1We confess we've been somewhat remiss in scouring the latest issue of Reston: The Magazine since uniformed federal agents delivered it to Restonian World Headquarters a week or so back. We hadn't even flipped to our favorite part: the covenants enforcement word find. But our favorite correspondent, The Peasant From Less Sought-After South Reston, stumbled across some shocking subliminal messages:

Whilst idly perusing the latest exciting issue of Reston magazine delivered to the Peasant's hovel by a uniformed federal agent, this edition's wordplay game on page 115 caught my eye because something After running the word grid through an array of massive parallel processing TRS-80 supercomputers recently picked up at an NSA garage sale, it became evident that the RA is engaged in a Manchurian Candidate-style mind control plan to indoctrinate Restonians to submit themselves to the DRB and the Orwellian-named "Covenants Committee". Hidden among the 'approved' words such as "aesthetics" and "maintenance" are some much more sinister subliminal messages:
Covenants Enforcement
Outlined on the word grid in appropriately-toned blue ink, left to right, top to bottom:

"Huh" -- The correct response by any Restonian while dealing with the DRB or Covenants Committee
"Axe" -- What a Restonian should NEVER take to any tree, especially if it's a...
"Yew" -- We love yew! Bamboo, not so much
"Gung-ho" -- What all Restonians must be at all times when thinking of their bollardy (if Macaroni Grill-less) future
"DRB" -- Don't Resist BigBrother
"Pro" -- What you soon won't find on the Reston National golf course if greedy developers have their way
"Tan" -- "Tan, tan, that's our hue, this paint color's good for you!"
"Weed" -- Die, evil garlic mustard, die!
"Color" -- We love russet brown! Purple, not so much
"Con" -- Definition of a Restonian who smokes on the Glade Trail

As if all this were not bad enough, a second analysis soon revealed something even worse hidden in the grid, something so bad that The Peasant felt compelled to outline it in non-compliant red. The word "no". And, a la that 20th century literary lion Jacqueline Susann, once is apparently not enough for the RA -- 12 times is. Up, down, forward, backwards, diagonal.

"The answer is no. Now what's the question?"
And then there's this:

Covenants Enforcement 2
We're through the looking glass.


  1. "Flee." Not since "Help! I'm a prisoner in a fortune cookie factory" has there been such an awesome message hiding in plain sight.

  2. So appropriate for this stalag. if we only knew when we were all handed that Reston Disclosure Kit. Someday -- I will be free!

  3. Restonian, you crack me up.

  4. Hey, how did you know it was me smoking out on the Glade Trail?

  5. I love this blog, but dude, you've got waaaay too much time on your hands.


(If you don't see comments for some reason, click here).