News and notes from Reston (tm).

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

The Mean Streets Paths of Reston


A Confidential Restonian Operative sent us these SHOCKING photos of graffiti found along the paths near Lake Anne. We don't know about you, but we no longer feel safe and are considering graduating a move to the comforting climes of Loudoun County, where we will no longer live in fear of being accosted by random words of greeting and encouragement, the end.



  1. "Good Moaning. I have spooken with Michelle, who has given me a massage to piss along to you roosidonts of Rooston: may the Lard's bloosings be with you."

    If you don't get this, watch WETA-UK at 11:30 tonight.

  2. This looks like the type of graffiti that would be created by Banksy had he been born in Reston.

    'MORNING' is a play on Good Morning, Vietnam! in which Cathy Hudgins addresses a blinded audience from a Cold War-era Soviest lecturn by stating 'Good morning, Restonian! Bend over! Grab your ankles! Feel the love of your brother developers in Christ!'

    'Blessings' is a play on the Unification Church concept of mass weddings in which the alphabet soup can of progressive Reston organizations opposed to the redevelopment of the Reston National Golf Course all marry various members of the democrat party machine of Faifax County that faithfully executes on all the elements of their liberal agenda, which the glaring exception being anything that blocks the frenzied perverse desires of monied developers that contribute to their campaigns.

    It's kinda like the marriage of a left-leaning hard-core member of Amnesty International with a center left president that claims the right to kill an American citizen with a drone without benefit of a public trial. Can you imagine such a relationaship?

    All marriages, to one degree or another, are dysfunctional. In Reston, however, cult marriages like those between RA, RCA, ARCH and Save Reston and their Moonie-approved Democrat party Hunter Mill District developer crony wife start out as psychotic, but hopefully improve over time to a better, let's call it a more dysfunctional state. All the wife has to do, in order to bring about a more harmonius dysfuctional relationship after a psychotic affair with a developer, and after her lover developer has fleeced her multiple grooms of their precious open green space, is to remind them all that she supports the reproductive rights of oppressed women in Latvia, or supports universal healthcare for Martians, should they land on planet Earth one day. The grooms, being the sensitive progressives that they are, are thus reminded by their wife that there are far more important things and much bigger philosophical issues in the political world than worrying about preserving measly little open green space in one tiny little community, and so the grooms grouse and bitch and moan and whine and complain about the loss of the green space, but at the end of the day, when they come home after a hard day of working and wonking for the government, they want to kiss that wife and claim to have a happy marriage, so they bend over and take it from her lover developer(s).

  3. Rose By Any Other NameSeptember 6, 2012 at 8:54 AM

    The Privileged Few With Fairway Views will now resort to graffiti on the golf cart paths in a public relations effort to recruit squirrels, chipmunks, geese, raccoons and stray dogs and cats to their just cause.

    1. You forgot the eagles and birdies.

  4. I might have seen some of this the other day too. in Chalk. I got a few pics cause it was neat. The one i saw said BFF and had an arrow.


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