News and notes from Reston (tm).

Friday, March 16, 2012

Here Is Your Obligatory Photo of People Lined Up for the Newest Apple Consumer Product, in Reston


At considerable personal risk, Twitter Hero "Smoke" surreptitiously snapped this dramatic photo of the line in front of the Apple Store at Reston Town Center as people queued up to be the first to experience what we full-time semioticians and part-time "web loggers" like to call "personal brand sublimation," as their personal consumer identities become at once melded with -- and defined by -- a product that serves as much as a tribal signifier and a totem of the Creative Class as a tool that facilitates hurling manic-depressive avians at unprocessed pork products. The good news? If they can help push Apple stock above the $700 mark, we'll be able to afford to repaint the front of Restonian World Headquarters the appropriate shade of Cracked-n-Peeling Mauve(tm). So consume, teeming consumer masses, consume!

BTW, after hundreds of hours of "user experience testing," we can confirm that this "web log" looks just as awful on the fancy new Retina display as on lesser monitors and screens, the end.


  1. O, those l'il ol' Mauve-ers 'n' shakers! Gawd bless "Smoke" for his bravery in capturing the glorious Fake Downtown Masses, too!

  2. sort of a "march of the Zombies" outside Apple, eh?

  3. Wait, wait! It's a cookbook!

  4. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonMarch 19, 2012 at 11:45 AM

    There is a wonderful irony here, at least for those of us old enough to remember the classic 1984 Apple commercial introducing the Macintosh computer. In that commercial, the line of blank-faced gray drones represented IBM. Now, 28 years later, the blank-faced drones are in a line buying Apple.

    And the text of Big Brother's speech in the 1984 commercial might sound eerily familiar to Restonians:

    "Today, we celebrate the first glorious anniversary of the Information Purification Directives. We have created, for the first time in all history, a garden of pure ideology – where each worker may bloom, secure from the pests purveying contradictory truths. Our Unification of Thoughts is more powerful a weapon than any fleet or army on earth. We are one people, with one will, one resolve, one cause. Our enemies shall talk themselves to death, and we will bury them with their own confusion. We shall prevail!"

    Are those of us on this filthy web-log "the pests purveying contradictory truths"?


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