Flashbacks:
The RNGC Caddyshackpocalypse
Bollards!
Our BFFs at the Reston Museum are now selling Reston-themed coffee in two exciting flavors: Sumatra or Lake Anne blend (is that extra bit of seasoning stagnant lake water?) It's a great fundraising idea (order form is here), but it's far from the only consumer product that bears the name of our earth-toned community.
Apparently, "Reston" doesn't just mean "coffee" to the minds of sophisticated consumers. We can almost see Don Draper sitting behind a two-way mirror, smoking a cigarette with an inscrutable look on his face as he listens to a focus group answer the burning question: Close your eyes. What comes immediately to mind when you think about "Reston"?
Only this is what they came up with:
That's right... these lovely rooster-themed "Reston Lloyd Rectangular Stove Burner Covers," perfect for the slightly obsessive-compulsive cook in the family who keeps burning the wool cozies he or she knits for the stovetop.
If that doesn't speak to the practicality that comes to mind when you think of jet-age air conditioning and other signature bits of Restonalgia, this lovely collection of Reston Self-Adhering Foam Pads can be yours for a mere $34.00! "Designed to protect against skin damage from splints, casts, and prostheses, it may be used as a padding for such devices as beds, chairs, and operating tables," the marketing copy enthuses, before warning not to use them as a "pressure-reducing device." Alrighty then!
Then there's this fancy "Reston Stationary Counter Stool," perhaps a tribute to our community's well-documented love of objects upon which to sit. We're really not sure.
Finally, what earth-toned home would be complete without this conversation-starter? These "mini-mousepad coasters" serve as a place to rest computer mice and cocktails with equal aplomb, and double as a fitting tribute to our doppelganger to the north. Get yours in time for the holiday season, or at least before the giant ice floes render Manitoba and its mini-mousepad coaster factories inaccessible for the winter, the end.
I don't know about the rest of you, but my homies and I will soon be "Strolling in the deep shade and quiet natural habitat of the Glade stream valley in Hunters Woods" savouring our cuppa Reston Roast Sumatra. After dark, most likely.
ReplyDeleteBut if I'm not mistaken, isn't that...red mulch...in the foreground next to the rooster?
ReplyDeleteStaring out my office window, futilely awaiting inspiration (or another earthquake) to strike, two wild turkeys sauntered between the tot-lot and the strip of trees bordering the toll road.
ReplyDeleteI propose replacing the roosters, which if memory serves are contraband in Fairfax county, with wild turkey. Or turkeys.