News and notes from Reston (tm).

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Meanwhile, in the Other Other Other Other Reston: A Children's Treasury of Photos of Reston, Canada

evil spock.jpegWho needs one of those new-fangled "maps" or "Google Earths"? Our favorite correspondent, the Peasant From Less Sought-After South Reston, has made another important discovery, one which rivals the unearthing of the Northwest Passage. You see, Reston has yet another evil twin... in America's own evil twin, "Canada." Read on:

Proof of ongoing cosmic expansion, the alternate universe Restons just keep multiplying by the day. We count, among others, our satanic twin in Howard County; our namesake in Scotland; the clones we have inspired in Ireland and South Korea; and even our serving as the anti-Christ role model for Nashville and Collingwood, Ontario. The Peasant's continuing mission to explore strange new mauve worlds, to seek out new DRB-approved civilizations, and to boldly go where no Peasant has gone before, we plunge into hyperspace via that whirling vortex of a black hole at 1930 Isaac Newton Square and emerge a nanosecond later in...Reston, Manitoba.

"Manitoba, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain and the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet when the wind comes right behind the rain.." Oops, wrong show biz analogy. But at least we have landed in our good neighbor to the north. Oh Canada, the country that embodies every single Boy Scout virtue -- kind, courteous, helpful, trustworthy, cheerful, etc. -- and all in two languages to boot, eh!?

Our Canadian namesake turns out to be a small farming town in southwest Manitoba, set amidst the rolling wheat fields of the Canadian Great Plains. First impressions are positive. With a population of only 600, 1/100th the size of our beloved new town, this Reston nevertheless boasts a weekly newspaper, a museum, a B&B, an elementary and high school, and affordable housing.

As we examine further, we begin to note some startling similarities between the two Restons that offer convincing proof of the mirror universe theory. Here, for example, is their constabulary setting off to patrol Manitoba's version of Section 8 housing:

Screen shot 2010-01-14 at 12.29.22 PM.jpg

Just slightly smaller than this year's graduating class at South Lakes High, here's the entire class of 2010 -- all 15 of them -- at the Reston Collegiate Institute in Manitoba:


If you can't get enough of that awesome bike race through Reston Town Center in the summer, check out the Reston, Manitoba, version (or perhaps it could be some hapless cyclist of ours who turned north on the Lawyers Road velodrome and like the Energizer bunny just kept going and going):


Interested in a McMansion? Theirs appear a lot better constructed than ours; these were built in 1913 with nary a scrap of particle board (and ironically in South Reston, not North Reston -- who's less sought after up there?):


Reston Town Center, Manitoba-style. Unlike our own fake downtown, note from the structure in the foreground how those crafty Canadians built their high-rise in an architecturally appropriate prairie style that exactly resembles a grain elevator:


And finally, what with all the hullabaloo about patiently waiting for Metro's Silver Line to reach Wiehle within our lifetime, note that our brethren to the far north have the last laugh on that count. To judge by this painting, they've had rail a lot longer than us. And look at the station's 80's-style rad art...1880's, that is:

So many questions. Does Dear Leader have a Canadian clone, separated at birth? Do the Mounties enforce the color of decorative stone and mulch? Does our Canadian doppelganger have its own "web log," only with more polite commenters, as is Canada's wont?


  1. The Convict in the GulagJanuary 14, 2010 at 10:27 PM

    Say what you will about Canada but I prefer to think of it as the 51st through 61st states unincorporated.

    Do you think they have HOAs up there?

  2. What ever happened to Aliance for Better Community, the Lovas-fearless leader storm troopers who were once so effective in wrenching total control of RA and RCC? Will they again emerge to make Reston "better?" Stay tuned.

  3. what no mega-athletic center in Manitoba, no feaux downtown, no 12 lane expressway slicing throught the middle of the town - slackers

  4. Did you hear that a group of high schoolers are petitioning the town to let them have their prom just across the road from town at that grain elevator? They're being led by a new kid, just moved there from a "big city" in Northern Virginia.

  5. I think we should get one of those signs, maybe put it in one of the stream restoration areas? They even got the color right! Maybe some of the regulars on this blog could take a field trip up there and in the middle of the night grab this thing and put it in a semi and ship it back here - it could be the start of a great doppleganger collegiate-like prank competition?

  6. dvdmom:

    Great idea. Or, to befuddle our northern neighbors even more, we "liberate" our own Reston sign and swap it out with one of theirs.

  7. Hey ... this area had light rail way before most of us were born... well, back to the 1800s in fact.

    The W&OD Trail (Rail Line) was once the main passenger line out to the Blue Ridge ...funny how things go.

    "... The Washington and Old Dominion Railroad (colloquially referred to as the W&OD) was an intrastate short-line railroad located in Northern Virginia. Its oldest line extended from Alexandria on the Potomac River northwest to Bluemont at the foot of the Blue Ridge Mountains near Snickers Gap, not far from the boundary line between Virginia and West Virginia. The railroad's route largely paralleled the routes of the Potomac River and the present Virginia Route 7..."

  8. Anonymous 10:34, first of all it's dvdmo_N_ (as in Jamaican for man - no I'm not Jamaican and I'm also not made out of dvd's), not mom. Perhaps I should rename myself to dvddad to avoid confusion?

    Second, where is this Reston sign of ours that needs liberating? I haven't noted anything quite as large as the Canadian one seems to be, but I'm new here!

  9. Slightly Dyslexic AnonymousJanuary 18, 2010 at 10:47 PM

    dvdmon with an N:

    My bad. Must have confused your on-line name with South Lakes Mom. Dvddad does sounds better, although I'm sure someone will then call you David.

    You can take your pick of our own Reston signs to be liberated. There's one at the southwest corner of the intersection of Rt. 7 and Reston Parkway, and another on Lawyers Road just east of Twin Branches.


(If you don't see comments for some reason, click here).