Who needs one of those new-fangled "maps" or "Google Earths"? Our favorite correspondent, the Peasant From Less Sought-After South Reston, has made another important discovery, one which rivals the unearthing of the Northwest Passage. You see, Reston has yet another evil twin... in America's own evil twin, "Canada." Read on:
Proof of ongoing cosmic expansion, the alternate universe Restons just keep multiplying by the day. We count, among others, our satanic twin in Howard County; our namesake in Scotland; the clones we have inspired in Ireland and South Korea; and even our serving as the anti-Christ role model for Nashville and Collingwood, Ontario.So many questions. Does Dear Leader have a Canadian clone, separated at birth? Do the Mounties enforce the color of decorative stone and mulch? Does our Canadian doppelganger have its own "web log," only with more polite commenters, as is Canada's wont?
So...in The Peasant's continuing mission to explore strange new mauve worlds, to seek out new DRB-approved civilizations, and to boldly go where no Peasant has gone before, we plunge into hyperspace via that whirling vortex of a black hole at 1930 Isaac Newton Square and emerge a nanosecond later in...Reston, Manitoba.
"Manitoba, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain and the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet when the wind comes right behind the rain.." Oops, wrong show biz analogy. But at least we have landed in our good neighbor to the north. Oh Canada, the country that embodies every single Boy Scout virtue -- kind, courteous, helpful, trustworthy, cheerful, etc. -- and all in two languages to boot, eh!?
Our Canadian namesake turns out to be a small farming town in southwest Manitoba, set amidst the rolling wheat fields of the Canadian Great Plains. First impressions are positive. With a population of only 600, 1/100th the size of our beloved new town, this Reston nevertheless boasts a weekly newspaper, a museum, a B&B, an elementary and high school, and affordable housing.
As we examine further, we begin to note some startling similarities between the two Restons that offer convincing proof of the mirror universe theory. Here, for example, is their constabulary setting off to patrol Manitoba's version of Section 8 housing:
Just slightly smaller than this year's graduating class at South Lakes High, here's the entire class of 2010 -- all 15 of them -- at the Reston Collegiate Institute in Manitoba:
If you can't get enough of that awesome bike race through Reston Town Center in the summer, check out the Reston, Manitoba, version (or perhaps it could be some hapless cyclist of ours who turned north on the Lawyers Road velodrome and like the Energizer bunny just kept going and going):
Interested in a McMansion? Theirs appear a lot better constructed than ours; these were built in 1913 with nary a scrap of particle board (and ironically in South Reston, not North Reston -- who's less sought after up there?):
Reston Town Center, Manitoba-style. Unlike our own fake downtown, note from the structure in the foreground how those crafty Canadians built their high-rise in an architecturally appropriate prairie style that exactly resembles a grain elevator:
And finally, what with all the hullabaloo about patiently waiting for Metro's Silver Line to reach Wiehle within our lifetime, note that our brethren to the far north have the last laugh on that count. To judge by this painting, they've had rail a lot longer than us. And look at the station's 80's-style rad art...1880's, that is: