News and notes from Reston (tm).

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Yet Another Reston Doppelganger Surfaces, This One in Old Blighty

Regular readers of this "web log" know of Reston's doppelgangers in Canada and Scotland. But our favorite correspondent, the Peasant From Less Sought After South Reston, stumbled across yet another Reston -- this one in England. As befits the class-conscious Brits, it even has a "North Reston" and a "South Reston," bisected by a centuries-old Fake Downtown. No, really!

Ole Blighty.jpg

Having a heat-wave induced attack of the vapors worthy of Scarlett O'Hara, The Peasant From Less Sought After South Reston mindlessly slid down the black hole of the Internet the other day and, in his delirium, ended up on the "Wicked-pedia" site -- where, a few random key strokes later, he stumbled upon the most closely-guarded secret of the alternate reality all Restonians inhabit.  Previous leaps across the space-time continuum have produced evidence of our mirror image doppelgangers set amidst the windswept Manitoba prairie or the Scottish Borders region, but this latest revelation of a parallel universe Reston might well rival the Hubble space telescope one day discovering the Big Bang moment of creation.
 
In short, we have found the one Reston that can claim absolute primogeniture to our sacred name -- the civil parish of Reston, located in the East Lindsay district of Lincolnshire, part of the East Midlands region of England.  With Uncle Sam's looming default threatening The Peasant's financial solvency, we reluctantly realize we must forego an actual jaunt across the pond and instead settle for a cyberspace tour of our British brethren.  Our first impression is of the timelessly beautiful and bucolic English countryside; we half-expect to see John Steed and the lovely leather-clad Emma Peel zoom past us in Steed's vintage Bentley.
 
Upon approaching our destination, a millennium older than our own Reston and with a population of only 218, we note the first supporting proof of the alternate universe theory.  Just as in our beloved beige burb, there is one village called North Reston and another called South Reston (Eerie!)  In between lies a third village, Castle Carlton, which appears the equivalent of our own gritty urban core.  According to its Wicked-pedia entry, Castle Carlton "established itself by the 13th century, reputedly after Hugh Bardolph developed it as a 'new town' (Eerie!)...today it is considered a deserted medieval village."  RTC merchants, please learn from history -- your future as an urban hipster oasis is most assuredly not guaranteed.
 
File:St.Edith's church, North Reston - geograph.org.uk - 465891.jpegIt is unclear if the English North Reston is more sought after or not, but we do find it mentioned in the Domesday Book of 1086 as containing 30 acres of meadows, 100 acres of woodland, two mills, and one church.  Continuing down the A-157 motorway, we arrive in nearby South Reston.  We are not sure how sought after it is, but do note that data from an 1831 census lists the occupational breakdown there as 17 "labourers and servants", six "middling sorts" and seven "employers and professionals."   With his natural affinity for the 17 riffraff, The Peasant is tempted to scoop up the one house he finds on the market there, a two-bedroom detached bungalow priced at 148,000 pounds, so that he might one day aspire to join the middling sort.
 
Waggon and Horses.jpegBefore making such a momentous life-altering decision to swap one Reston for the other, however, The Peasant pulls into the local watering hole, The Waggon and Horses Pub, for much-needed sustenance.  As we peruse the menu of this charming establishment, we are racked with indecision on the menu choices.  Should we order the breakfast special of the Wag Belly Buster -- "2 rashers of bacon, 2 eggs, 2 sausages, tomato, beans, mushrooms, tea/coffee, and toast"?  Or a Besto Bun -- bacon, egg, sausage, tomato, and onion?  Or the chicken and bacon on a bed of leeks coated in cheese sauce? 
 
Somehow, we suspect Michelle Obama might be popping into The Waggon and Horses sometime soon to conduct a serious menu adjustment.  Given the laws of quantum physics that govern alternate universes, moreover, we likewise expect to find mushy peas, chips, and black pudding simultaneously materializing on the upgraded menu of the Macaroni Grill.  A win-win situation, if ever there was one, for both these fine dining establishments!
We think the Macaroni Grill could totally clean up on a "middling sorts special" of blood sausage and cheesy bread, the end.

4 comments:

  1. Let's get the RA to sponsor a field trip! Our annual dues should more than cover the cost.

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  2. Maybe we can convince JBG to tear down Castle Carlton and redevelop it instead of Fairway.

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  3. Note wikipedia comments on Castle Carlton.

    "At Castle Carlton there is a wide moat surrounding a mound on which stood a twelfth century motte and bailey castle, most likely wooden, founded by Justiciar Hugh Bardolph,[1][2] who is said to have slain a monster.[3]"

    They must be talking about JBG.

    "The village had established itself as a commercial centre by the thirteenth century, reputedly after Hugh Bardolph developed it as a "new town",..."

    Bob Simon just might be older than we think!!

    "... and it was sometimes known as Market Carlton.[4] Today it is considered a deserted medieval village, or DMV.[5]"

    Wow, a medieval DMV!! Must have been a first!

    I can imagine Bob tooling down the dirt track that preceded the A 157 in his ox cart. Bob did they have an airport there?

    RW

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  4. Ye Olde South Reston PeasantJuly 31, 2011 at 8:05 PM

    More importantly:

    Did they have a homicidal nudist colony at Castle Carlton?

    Did Ye Olde Wetlands Streams and Solutions, Ltd., remediate the watersheds in Lincolnshire?

    Did our RTC cupcakery and Jackson's have a joint forerunner in Castle Carlton know as Crumpets & Strumpets?

    ReplyDelete

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