News and notes from Reston (tm).

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Did Albert Haynesworth Lose $115 Million Because of a Night on the Town at Reston Town Center?

albert-haynesworth_cnpphotos015991-football.jpgThose of you who follow the "foot ball" probably already know that Albert Haynesworth was suspended by the Redskins for the rest of the season. But did a grainy cellphone photo of the linebacker hanging out at American Tap Room at Reston Town Center last week seal the deal?

Haynesworth claimed he was "sick" and that's why he was late Friday morning and practiced so poorly on Thursday. (He was healthy enough that he still wanted to play against the Giants on Sunday.)

I was out at a bar in Reston Va last Thursday night. It was around 1:30 in the morning and guess who stumbled in but Albert Haynesworth, with two or three very petite young things. He had a drink in hand and hung out for a bit over in the corner near the bathroom.
Haynesworth is the closest thing to a celebrity you'll see something of a regular in a number of Fake Downtown hotspots. He has denied he was hung over the next day, but another reporter got to the bottom of the story, with the kind of diligence you rarely see when a journalist is investigating claims of weapons of mass destruction doing a non-sports story:
Haynesworth was out at the american tap room until 2am thursday morning (that is wednesday night into thursday morning). A waiter there showed Haynesworth’s bill to a comcast reporter (apparently Haynesworth likes the drink: Skinny Bitch on the Rag). The comcast reporter checked with players who said that Haynesworth was definitely hung over. So they reported it. Haynesworth himself admitted that he was out till “closing” at the Tap Room, but said he stopped drinking “around 12:30 or so”.
One person imagined the conversation the next day:
Shanahan: You look like hell! Where were you last night?!

Haynesworth: Reston! [crosses fingers]

Shanahan Restin'?

Haynesworth: That's what I said.
So, um, yeah. All we can say is that we're not exactly sure a wild night out in the Fake Downtown is worth losing a $115 million contract. At least not unless the evening ended with all-you-can-eat breadsticks at the Macaroni Grill, the end.

Update: Now this is just plain cruel. But funny.



  1. Haynesworth has a condo in the Mid Town High Rise. He is around Town Center all the time.

  2. Just one more reason to dislike the Abomination on the W & OD: watering holes for overpaid {insert rude synonym for "sphincters"}.

  3. Actually, the entire story that accompanies the photo that's linked above is hilarious. Both in terms of Fat Albert and his entourage and the group the guy who snapped the photo was a part of, it pretty much encapsulates the bar scene at RTC, such as it is.

  4. 1067 the fan is sposoring a happy hour in honor of him...!/1067thefandc/statuses/12225940700536832

  5. I guess it's a good thing that his second job as a rocket scientist will pay the mortgage.

  6. The American Tap Room is a cancer on Reston. Also, McNabb has been spotted at Jacksons before.

  7. I love one of the comments that appeared on the site that was the source of the grainy photo of Big Al:

    "The Skins suspended him for the season?

    Isn't spending a Thursday night in Reston punishment enough?

    *Shakes Head*"

  8. It could be worse, 12:31. Imagine spending a Thursday night in Toledo, Oh.

  9. Did you say "Fake Downtown"??? Seriously? You write for a blog called "Restonian" and yet you demean it that way. Shame on you. Go write somewhere else. Companies like Google, Microsoft, Oracle, Rolls Royce and umpteen other high-profile companies thought highly enough of the Reston Town Center to locate their Washington DC operations there.

  10. From the Uplands of RestonDecember 8, 2010 at 3:15 PM

    Anon December 8, 2010 2:51 PM

    Hey Robin Smyers, I thought you were in Texas. And good luck on that humor thing.

    Is a real downtown when the rats outnumber the residents?

  11. 2:51, you're not from around here are you? "Fake Downtown"? Yes. Downtown is where you leave your home and walk down town. It's a place that is seamlessly integrated into the rest of the town. In fact, it is historically the oldest part of town and the rest of the town grew out of it. The Reston Town Center was selected by the developers was built after Reston was established. It featured tons of parking so that the residents could drive to and park there. The housing around was built years after RTC was built. So, would you prefer "Fabricated Downtown"
    over Fake?

    That said, I go there reguarly to eat, shop and be entertained. Just because it's not a traditional downtown doesn't make the food taste bad or the goods faulty.

    As for the author, he doesn't 'write for a blog called "Restonian"'. He IS Restonian. It's his blog. So telling him to "Go write somewhere else" really doesn't make sense.

    Finally, Lighten up Francis! You're walking into the middle of a conversation. Shut up and listen instead of insulting those who were already here. If you don't like the jokes/comments/observations/snarkiness, then leave.

  12. divdem, you're the one who needs to lighten up. anon 2:51's got a point. I've lived here for over 25 years, and the term "fake downtown" is getting a little old. Every downtown had to start somewhere, and they all don't grow as idyllically as you suggest.

    Furthermore, I'm a frequent visitor here, and I didn't realize the conversation as you call it is only open to a select few. The poster is entitled to their opinion...maybe you should be the one to leave if you can't take the additional thoughts that don't conform with your own.

  13. RTC = fake downtown.

  14. Go write somewhere else? Anon 2:51, what on earth are you talking about? It's "Restonian's" blog. Are you new to the internets or something?

    Also, "shame on you"? Seriously?

  15. 3:43

    Oh, how little you know about the history of cities. Almost every city was created by "developers." Read the history of any city and a "company", "syndicate" or "concession" built the market or the watermill or laid out the grid pattern etc. RTC is no different.

    Restonian's constant reference to the "fake downtown" is taken as a snarky, sophomoric and lame attempt at humor. We tolerate as the price of admission. It has gotten old but more centrally it reflects an ahistoric perspective on how cities have developed.

  16. I'm with your, 10:02. The whole "Fake Downtown" this is really getting tiresome. Considering that it was carved out of some nicely wooded area, I would say "Abomination" is a much better description of RTC.

  17. 10:02

    Yes, the forum was the last thing built in Rome and sited by "Romulus and Remus Inc." in the outskirts.

    Your "historical" expertise non-withstanding, down towns are usually the first thing built, with the "town" springing up around the "center."

    RTC was built on the edge of Reston last. That is why it is a fake downtown.

    and I'm starting to think it is about time you went to Macaroni Grill and well you know....

  18. Bob Simon's Metallic Alter EgoDecember 9, 2010 at 7:34 AM

    While it's wonderful that Google and Microsoft have deigned to call RTC home, their headquarters are both in soulless suburban office parks in the midst of a lot of Bay Area/Redmond sprawl. I wouldn't exactly call either company experts in the urban space.

    Don't know about Rolls Royce, but I envision their main office being serviced by Dickensian chimney sweeps with lovely Cockney accents.

  19. HCKD

    Not true of NYC. Not true of Boston. etc, etc.

    but don't let facts get in the way of your uninformed opinion.


    As if the RTC was previously some primeval paradise. It was fifth growth scrub and junk trees. See, it had been a farm in the 60s, growing grain for a local "bourbon" distiller.

    Consider how soulless Reston would be without RTC.

    Or consider how far you'd have to travel to do the activities people do in RTC as those of us who lived here had to before 1989. Like a job.

    "What maroons" - Chuck Jones

  20. I'm just waiting for a grainy cellphone photo of Restonian enjoying a loaded potato skin at Jacksons

  21. Frankly, I think Reston had plenty of soul pre-AW&OD. I think that may have been why it was much sought after even back then. Remember the course of events: Middle Earth, Gulag, HoidyToidyLand and only then RTC. So, here's the Executive Summary: RTC was an after-thought.

    I can't say about all of the property within the area bordered by W&OD, Reston Parkway, Baron Cameron, Fairfax County Parkway, but I do know that most of that area was forested, especially on the south end abutting the W&OD, during the initial phases of the AW&OD because (1) I have been riding my bicycle through that area since childhood and (2) I helped do some of the tree trimming and grounds work at the end of construction. I can tell you right now that those huge swamp oaks in front of the AW&OD were there before construction started.

  22. From the Uplands of RestonDecember 9, 2010 at 2:03 PM

    Some people like the natural world; zephyrs twirling leaves, a sky of clouds, sun and stars, deer gamboling across the sward.

    Others like the urban grit of RTC. Stone, concrete and glass vice sky. Asphalt, not trees.

    The residents of Reston have no voice in the matter. We were not asked. It was fated to be from the planning documents, as we are shadows on the beatific vision of our founder Robert Simon.

  23. It's downright Un-American to criticize your city. You should be proud and overlook your city's problems and facades. The only way to love your city is to unerringly see it as perfect and lovely and take it completely seriously. And if you don't love it, you can just leave it. So go, go now you Reston haters, for I love my Reston and its perfect Russett Brown buildings, its "Real" downtown, its historical importance in the histroy of this great nation. Reston is a beautiful place and has no room for haters of its perfection. ;-)

    Joker - "Why So Serious?"

  24. Uplands is correct -- the fancy Town Center was in the plans from the get-go. When they first started building it in an empty field, they spent a lot of time talking about how it would fulfill Reston's vision and whatnot.

    It's definitely a hell of a lot better than the tacky big-box strip mall next door. Now THAT is an abomination.

  25. Gee, and all this time I thought Reston Town Center just sprung full-blown from Dear Leader's head like one of those tales from ancient Greek mythology.

    I'm crushed.

  26. 9:21

    Oh I see, Boston Common was built in 1987 after all of the rest of Boston was built. It wasn't a cow pasture or a "commons" as they were called back in "history." The City didn't grow around it.

    Where is New York City's "Town Center?" I bet you'll say "Times Square"
    which would explain why you love RTC so much.

    Both are facsimiles of simulacrums of what a real city is.

    Well there is now nothing left for me to say to you other than go stuff your face with all you can eat never ending bowls of pasta from Macaroni Grill and then top it all off with a magical night of binge drinking at Jacksons where you can talk about your job at Oracle.

  27. Wow Duster...I can't imagine what issues you have going on, but you sure seem angry. Why do you stay here, if you hate it so much?

  28. The Duster loves Reston. The Duster does not love RTC.

    RTC ≠ Reston.

    RTC = Fake Downtown.

    Anon 9:21 (and 1:56, assuming same as 9:21) = silly bollard

    Macaroni Grill + Jackson's = magical night out.

  29. Maybe we can teach Big Al how to kick the football? He couldn't have done any worse than Gano yesterday.

  30. Used to practice and play soccer games on the long-gone Bowman Field facility in the early/mid 1970's. Bowman Field was located just, North of what is now New Dominion Pkwy. And, named after the nearby Bowman family/Virginia Gentlemen bourbon distillery. Also, long gone.

    Good times that are well-remembered with Reston's founders of Soccer!... Mr. Armhein and Mr. Mashke(sp?) Peter Mashke(sp?) owned a TV repair business (TELE-FIX) on downtown Spring Street in Herndon. He was the best sports coach, ever! Recall, being fascinated by his worldly-Germany accent. RTC's land footprint used to be a cow pasture. You can still see some remnants of a cattle loading ramp/shute at the intersection of Reston Pkwy. (formerly, Reston Avenue!) and Dulles 267 headed West from Reston Pkwy. at the traffic light on North end of Dulles 267 Toll Road.

    Fat Albert Haynesworth crippled his career on some very- hallowed ground! Mauve and Brown, aside... Reston is still a better place to reside than most other places on our globe.


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