The Peasant from Less Sought-After South Reston writes in with terrifying news about our earth-toned community's doppelganger across the pond -- and by "pond," we still don't mean "Lake Thoreau." Not only has Reston, Berwickshire still not been named the #2 place to live in the U.K., its most terrifying resident has returned:
Whilst once more perusing the "w.w.w." set of tubes, I discovered big news in one of the alternate universe Restons. Our wee cousins across the pond in bonnie Scotland report another sighting of the dreaded "Beast of Berwickshire". And appropriately enough, it was spotted by an inhabitant of our Celtic doppelganger Reston.But there's more! At great personal risk to himself, the Peasant has learned that the Beast has received an H-1 work visa, allowing him to work as a security guard at the new RA Headquarters once it opens next week. Here's a picture of one of its top secret training sessions in an undisclosed, but apparently appropriately earth toned location:
All the breathtaking details can be found in the Berwickshire News "news-paper." Here's the top of the story:
A MYSTERIOUS animal has reared its giant guinea pig-like head, four years after The Berwickshire News first reported sightings of a similar-sounding creature.
In 2006 motorist Mark Pentecost saw what looked like a large guinea pig sitting in the middle of the road near Eyemouth. And last week a Reston woman said a similar animal crossed in front of her car, on the Chirnside to Auchencrow road.
Joyce McLean and her daughter Louise were almost at Oldcastles Farm at around 10.30pm on Sunday, June 27, when they spotted the animal they believe to be a capybara - the world's largest rodent.
"We knew it was something strange as soon as it crossed in front of the car," Joyce said. "I knew I had seen something similar in the paper before and when we got back I looked in the archives - it was just the same as Mr, Pentecost said, like a giant guinea pig.
We feel safer already.