Who's Hungry? A Children's Treasury of Mildly Alarming Restaurant Inspection Reports

Need to save money during this financial treepocalypse? Spend a little time browsing the health department restaurant inspection reports for Fairfax County, and you'll never be tempted to skip bringing a bag lunch to work again.

The health department descended on various and sundry Reston eateries during March, and... well, let's just say it could be worse. None had our favorite inspector phrase, "rodent harborage." Take it from us -- we know of what we speak, and that's a good thing. A very good thing.

Obi Sushi in Reston Town Center had seven "critical" violations. Apparently health inspectors weren't aware that the fish is supposed to be served raw. We kid, of course, but if you're a fan of sushi, you're not going to want to read the following paragraph:

CFM was able to provide parasite destruction letters for 2008. Please provide 2009 parasite destruction letters from your sushi fish vendors by 4/2/09.

Ew. We'll stick with the tempura. Oddly enough, the biggest issue they found involved the "cut melons at the lunch buffet." Suck on that, vegetarians!

The Westin Reston Heights had a total of five critical and six non-critical violations, including a broken dishawsher that wasn't actually cleaning utensils and the old reliable standby, "a food employee failed to wash her hands before putting on a clean pair of gloves." Not her fault, though:

Observed that sign or poster that notifies food employees to wash their hands is not provided at all handwashing sinks (including restroom hand sinks) used by food employees.

Paolo's Ristorante, which is Fancy Reston Town Center Speak for "Paul's Diner," was flagged with three critical violations, two of which had to do with mussels being improperly tagged. Our vote is to slap tags saying "gross" on them and move on, but that's just us.

Mama Woks had three critical violations, all of which were corrected during the visit. Here's the random ooggy comment:

Observed 3 soy sauce container lids in the hand sink. Corrective Action: A hand sink may not be used for any purpose other than hand washing.

Who doesn't exfoliate with a little soy sauce?

Lake Side Grill had two critical and one non-critical violation, including the lack of warnings about undercooked food on the menu and the lack of a cover to the trash can in the unisex bathroom.

But we've saved the worst for last. In the wake of being given a D- for its healthy, family friendly food, our beloved Macaroni Grill was slapped with two critical violations involving cooling and sanitizing issues. No way! Also, there "is no hand washing sign posted at the hand washing sink at the cook line." Maybe it was in Italian!

Oh, well. In the interest of being Fair and Balanced (tm), it's worth pointing out that health inspectors also visited Dinner Zen, BBQ Bandidas, CJL Enterprise and the Silver Diner in March, and found zero violations. All we can say is that if you run a place called "BBQ Bandidas" and you manage to have zero health violations, our hats are off to you.