Meet Your Neighbors: The Unbearable Lightness of Lake Anne

Meet Greg, a blogger whose insights are so valuable to the human condition that his URL denotes his charitable status for giving them away: greg.org. Kind of like... this site. Oh, yeah. Sorry.

Anyway, greg dot org came to Reston, hoping to experience what he calls the "perfect modernist suburb." You can guess how that turned out:

Reston looks like this, freakin' shoeboxes with room for a dinette set and ceilings no taller than the 8' patio door that is the only source of light.

No disagreement here!

Fortunately, the grandeur of Middle Earth sparked this helpful rumination on all things Reston:

I've since visited Lake Anne, as the original core of Reston is known, and have learned that Hickory Cluster is actually a series of Goodman-designed townhouse neighborhoods on the other side of the ring road from the town square, which architect James Rossant designed to emulate--what else?--Portofino.

In at least one respect, he succeeded: apparently, the pedestrian-oriented center is dead in the non-summer, and businesses on the plaza can't survive. Which is one factor driving a current government/development push for "revitalization." The other most immediately obvious characteristic of Lake Anne is its Latino-ness. It's like Reston Town Center for Mexicans, and visiting it makes me realize how overwhelmingly non-Latino the RTC crowds and target demographics are.

The only larger concentration of Latino Reston/Herndon residents I'd seen was in the parking lot at KMart, which serves as a kind of impromptu zocalo con coches. Rather than providing an idealized escape from the "problems" of the "inner cities," such as density and a heterogeneous racial, cultural, and socio-economic population, Reston turns out to have [at least] two cultures and economic strata superimposed on each other, equal on the parkways, but separate on the town plazas. I wonder if anyone's asked a Mexican about the Lake Anne "revitalization," or is he the problem to be solved?

No, no -- that's Herndon's thing.

Reston's vibrant economy

PRA International, a company that specializes in clinical trials, is moving its headquarters from Reston to Raleigh, N.C. Company officials said the move would "provide ready access to a highly qualified talent pool and reduce our infrastructure costs." (Translation: In North Carolina, $234,000 can buy a McMansion instead of this -- and you can even paint it any color you like!.)

Meanwhile, a group that's long tried to orchestrate a buyout of Sallie Mae has announced that its would-be suitors are not likely to "consummate the acquisition under the terms of the merger agreement." Let's just say that's an unusually graphic description by the standards of corporate statements -- but then again, what do you expect from a company whose raison d'etre is financing college students' booze-fueled hookups?

From the comments...

Following the Herndon's shutdown of the day laborer center, a reader noticed this:

If you drive into Herndon on West Ox Road from Loudoun County, you'll see a flashing electronic message sign reading "Day Labor Center CLOSED." Guess they're driving to discourage folks from Ashburn from trolling for folks to hang drywall in their particleboard houses.

Now if they can just point a flashing electronic arrow in the general direction of Panama, we'll be all set!

Pass around the offering plate

Dating back to 1863, Cartersville Baptist Church on Hunter Mill Road was just hit with a $6,138 sewage bill. Although the church serves a higher authority, Fairfax County's sewage system serves them.

Kiss the Kiss-N-Ride Goodbye

Wanted: Partner to develop 1 million square feet of retail and commercial space on Wiehle Avenue, adjacent to a Metro station that may or may not open in 2013. The lucky winner gets a 99-year ground lease, all the abandoned cars it can tow from the existing Kiss-n-Ride parking lot, and easy access to McDonald's, Pizza Hut, and Taco Bell.

On the plus side, this development could conceivably wind up being near a Metro station, unlike another massive proposal slated for the other side of the Toll Road. On the other hand, unlike other mixed-use developments that have popped up near Metro stations in Arlington, Bethesda, and Silver Spring, Reston covenants forbid hotels or residential construction along the Toll Road because... oh, hell... it might actually make sense. Or because it's a Monday and it's cloudy outside. Who can tell?

Only in Reston....

Are certain elections not elections. They're "preference polls."

The preference poll is so named because it does not function as an actual election. As a Fairfax County facility, the Hunter Mill District board member, currently Supervisor Cathy Hudgins (D), appoints the Board of Governors.

RCC Director of Communications Bebe Nguyen said the supervisor has always appointed the candidates chosen by the preference poll, which allows the community to have a say in the nominations.

"It's a way for the community to express their preference," she said.

In other news, in Reston, TV watches you!

Reston Explained: Fun Facts!

Did you know...

That Reston's Access Emergency Care was the first standalone emergency room in the country?

That the tower on the Wiehle Avenue fire station is used to dry out hoses?

Now the real question: Do you care?

Reston Real Estate: The High-Low Game

At $234,000 this charmer on Southgate Square is the cheapest non-condo currently for sale in Reston. Sadly, it's a foreclosure, something we're going to have to get used to.

For $1.874 million, this executive home is the most expensive. You could buy a whole row of the Southgate townhouses for what this pile costs. But only a certain type of person should apply, according to the breathless listing copy:

EXCEPTIONAL HOME FOR AN EXCEPTIONABLE BUYER!

What exactly is an exceptionable buyer? According to dictionary.com, it's an objectionable one. I'm not sure this Realtor(tm) is going to like who he or she sees walking into the marble foyer during the open house. But with their share of a 6 percent commission coming to a cool $56,220, I'm sure they'll be able to spring for a secondhand dictionary.

America's Mayor (tm)...

... will be coming to speak in a town that doesn't have one.

Meet Your Neighbors: [Redacted]

Here's what some random blogger writes about Reston:

Checking my stats, I just realized I've been getting mad hits from Reston, Virginia. If you are a regular reader of this blog and reside in Reston, Virginia, kindly send me an email letting me know you are NOT the C.I.A., because I seem to have read they have a facility there. (Thank you addiction to Hannibal Lecter novels!) While it's true I have worked out those little bugs in the equations leaving impediments in the way of time travel, I don't think it's fair that supersecretive government agencies harass me purely on that basis.

We can only assume he's kidding.

You've Got... Relocated!

Well, that's one less reason to pay $9.60 to drive to Loudoun County.

A Helpful Hint to Developers

When planning a massive high-rise development intended to take advantage of the possibly coming Metro, respectfully consider this small tip: Put it on the same side of the freakin' highway as the Metro station.

That is all.

Meanwhile, in the Anti-Reston: Dept. of Obvious Consequences

Turns out shutting down the day laborer center didn't make all those swarthy types shuffling around Herndon magically disappear to Panama. Instead, they've moved to an open-air location at a public park near downtown in hopes of continuing to make a living for their families. Who'd have thunk it? As one sharp-witted local passerby pointed out:

They will be here every day? This is what the town didn't want to happen."

Fortunately, the once-jammed 7-11 parking lot that initially sparked the entire controversy has remained clear, giving Herndonians unfettered access to their precious bodily fluids (chemical breakdown: 73.7% Super Big Gulp, 26.3% Banana Slurpee).

Under, Over, or Never?

In the latest attempt to keep the Metro extension to Dulles alive in its vegetative state, a bipartisan group of Virginia politicians announced $300 million in cuts to the project. This includes axing a proposed parking garage in Reston, which means that if you want to park at the existing kiss-and-ride lot once the Wiehle Avenue station opens, you'll need to get there early. I'd go ahead and park now.

While we're waiting, we can always amuse yourself with the continuing sparring between the Under, Not Over crowd and state officials:

Kaine became angry at one point, telling a tunnel speaker: "Do not interrupt me." But he took a more conciliatory tone later, saying: "We have to make a call, and the call has to be made with a goal in mind. And the goal is this: This is an airport that should have been served by rail when it was built. To come back later now to do it -- I wish we didn't have to. But by gosh, we need to if we're going to have a quality of life that is worthwhile in this region."

By gosh! By golly! If we all give it what for, we'll have the line built by 1963!

This week in crime

A fatal stabbing took place on Winterthur Drive in Reston yesterday. A family member was taken into custody.

Two men were arrested by police following a sexual assault near Glade Drive last Saturday.

Police were also involved in a shooting on Sunrise Valley Road earlier this week, shooting a 26-year-old involved in a single-car accident "multiple times." We weren't going to mention this here, as contrary to initial news reports, the shooting happened in Herndon, not Reston, but the Connection Newspapers article included this somewhat odd comment:

First Lieutenant Andy Hill, FCPD Reston station assistant commander, said it was not officers from the Reston station who were involved in the incident. He said the crash took place in the jurisdiction of the Fair Oaks district station, just across the boundary from Reston station’s area of operation.

In other news, no parrots were injured today in a crash on the A356...

Meet Your Neighbors: Reston Baby

Is Reston a good place to raise kids? Here's what the bloggers behind Reston Baby have to say about that:

"There's such a diversity," Morgan said. "For instance I'm raising girls, and Ainsley and I are at-home moms."

Wow. Talk about a melting pot. Actually, they're talking about their site, which celebrated its first year this summer. Meet Ainsley, who considers herself the 'Posh Spice' of the Reston Baby trio.

A Virginia Beach native, Arment said she never thought she'd raise her children in Northern Virginia.
"It's not bad, it's just different. I said, 'Oh my god I have Reston babies!" she said.

Sadly, she's moving to Ashburn, a trend which we shall from hereon refer to on Restonian as "graduating."

Ask not for whom the bell tolls...

It looks like it's going to get a bit more expensive to drive to Ashburn. We're struggling to figure out what exactly in Loudoun County would be worth spending as much as $9.60 round trip to visit. I mean, if you want to see soul-crushing particleboard townhouses, there's always Centreville, Herndon, or Chantilly. There's this, I suppose, but it's only open one month of the year.

Don't panic, though -- the state commission overseeing the private consortium which owns the Greenway (which includes Kellogg, Brown & Root, known for their selfless penny-pinching efforts in Iraq and elsewhere) -- did point out that the company could choose to lower tolls at any time they like. It could happen, right?

On the bright side, if your travels take you the other direction on the Toll Road and you've gotten a ticket in the mail, there's a chance it just might be one of the 8,000 violations being summarily dismissed. Apparently, transitioning from a system where scofflaws were punished by hearing a jarring, presumably guilt-inducing bell -- and absolutely nothing else -- to actually installing cameras that actually prosecute violators has been a bit of a chore. The Toll Road opened in 1984, but they didn't get around to that until late 2006. One key glitch? Apparently forgetting that the toll collectors periodically have to leave "for emergencies or bathroom breaks or what have you."

Maybe they're all trying to get out to Ashburn.

Meanwhile, in the Anti-Reston....

After years of impassioned debate ordinarily only found on small-market AM radio talk shows, Herndon has finally shut down its center for day laborers, a place so insidiously evil that only Restonians could operate it for the town -- and if the name "Project Hope and Harmony" isn't an only-in-Reston name for a group, I don't know what is. Ironically, it was a Reston resident who, upon attempting to hire a day laborer elsewhere in town, sparked a lengthy (and frankly, somewhat complicated and boring) court process that ultimately led the town council to deep-six the center.

Since the center first opened in 2005 in an attempt to keep undocumented workers from befouling the parking lot of the Elden Street 7-11 and denying hard-working Herndonites access to the Big Gulps and Big Bite Hot Dogs they so clearly enjoy, the center has led to an electoral bloodbath on the town council, heated confrontations between neighbors, and, perhaps worst of all, live on-site broadcasts from Fox News. I'm sure Bill O'Reilly enjoyed Five Guys.

So, let's look on the bright side here. Maybe we won't have to live next to the only town with a local Minuteman chapter located more than three miles from the Mexican border. But don't listen to me. Listen to one of the town's elders:

Ann Null, a council member who opposed opening the center before she retired in 2005, said she hoped its closing would induce illegal residents in the town to leave the country.

"There's a construction boom in Panama," she said. "They can find jobs in a country where they don't have to learn the language."

And as everyone knows, Panama is just a quick bus ride from the Elden-Monroe Park and Ride lot.

Extreme Makeover: South Lakes Edition

For what seems like the zillionth year running, South Lakes High School is still in the midst of renovations. Hopefully that means they'll finally add an innovative architectural feature that apparently was discovered sometime in the 1970s: windows.