Caddyshackpocalypse Now: With New Golf-Friendly Charm Offensive, War Horse Proves It's a Two-Trick Pony

Hey, remember that time a friendly sounding company bought the Reston National Golf Course and immediately said that there was nothing that could be done but raze it because no one is playing golf any more, and then they became Very Concerned about the scourge of invasive plants, and then they hosted an open bar to propose a "conservancy" sort of green space that would be "reclaimed from golf course use," and when no one bit on any of these highly sincere gambits that had nothing to do with turning their $23 million investment into $200 million-plus worth of particleboard condominiums, they started arguing about by-right development, threatening to reduce the course to 9 holes and maybe build some brightly lit Top Golf-like mauvescraper to annoy their tormentors, and then later claiming that a mildewed 1966 zoning document allows them to build whatever they want on 14 acres of the golf course?

Yeah, that was awesome. But now, we're hearing that golf is BACK, baby! The developers' latest charm offensive, if by "charm offensive" you mean "posting a bunch of geotargeted ads on Facebook," is leaning heavily into golf, promising Restonians "golfing bliss" on 18 pristine holes, conveniently surrounded by new "much needed homes." Check it, as the kids haven't said in years:

"Teed off" is telling on their less-than-warm response from Restonians to date a little, but no matter! Bask in the vision for "Evolution 18," which was definitely not generated by AI slopbots working hard enough to drain nearby Lake Thoreau:

One part seems accurate, though. COMPUTER, ENHANCE:

Perhaps we're being cynical. Maybe their altruistic commitment to addressing the housing crisis is the real motivator:

That means some pretty dense development -- some 306 stacked townhomes, including between 18 and 34 workforce housing units, depending on who you ask. Enjoy these lovely before and after renderings from their website (circles are ours):

We like how the "after" image has been yassified, as the kids said as recently as two years ago. But no matter! In describing the changes, the developers are basically saying that they're doing golfers a favor, and the bolted-on housing should be our way of saying "thank you" for a new "Back 9 grill" between the 12th and 13th holes and a "short course," whatever that is. Give us some good golfing blockquote, BFFs at Fairfax Now:

According to [War Horse Cities founder and Reston National owner Scott Plank], the renovations will amount to “millions of dollars of work,” and allowing housing on a portion of the property will enable War Horse to fund the project without passing on the costs to players by increasing fees or fully privatizing the course.

SAY THANK YOU, PEONS.

All of this is teeing off (get it?) a September 23 planning commission meeting on the portion of the property War Horse says it has the right to develop anyway.  

Will all this work? Earlier this summer, the Reston Association asked residents if they wanted it to continue pushing back against development, with 91 percent urging the RA Board to continue its opposition. (No word if the remaining 9 percent rooted for Ted Knight's character in Caddyshack). But we worry that without continuing advocacy from those who oppose it, the constant shifting of the goalposts, the new promise to ostensibly give the complainers what they want and preserve the golf course, and, of course, the county's unquenchable desire for some sweeeeeeet sweeeeet tax revenue that isn't a data center are going to be, as the golfers say, quite the handicap when push comes to shove for the supervisors who don't have to live with this in their own back nine, the end.