News and notes from Reston (tm).

Monday, December 4, 2023

Going Round and Round in Reston

 You may have missed it amid the firehose of current events, but we were struck by the recent announcement that a newly arrived Reston business was naming different areas of its office after parts of the Beltway, because what people love most about their work day is the part where they sit in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the "Outer Loop," whatever that is, to get to some midrise office building in time for the "team sync," whatever that is.

But we digress. Why doesn't Reston, a famous planned community, do the same thing, renaming different parts of itself after a famous round highway? After all, would you rather live in a neighborhood with some outdated 1960s name like "Thistle Down Misty Meadows Parkview Cluster (Reserved Parking Only)" or in a place with a name that gives off vibrant 2020s sounding vibes like, wedunno, "Chevy Chase?" So get your can of spray paint in one of two DRB-approved colors, and get ready to do some renaming!

Tysons Corner. A brilliant rebranding of Reston Town Center, especially since we now have more steakhouses and less free parking than that clump of office buildings to the east.

Old Town Alexandria. It's essentially Lake Anne, only slightly older and with more functional utilities.

The Mixing Bowl. We could mention one of Reston's finer midscale watering holes, but Mrs. Restonian would likely disapprove.

The 270 Spur. An array of signs and turns designed to confuse and irritate drivers? It's gotta be the area around the Wiehle Metro Station.

Silver Spring. Any of the tennis courts where people play pickleball.

HOV lanes. Also known as "Lexus lanes" for their high tolls, we'd say any of the roads leading out of Reston to "Great" Falls or Loudoun County.

National Harbor. Wherever the casino winds up being built, with the nearest stormwater retention pond serving as the "harbor."

We forgot to mention that the aforementioned office has something called the "Blues Cafe," a work area in- spired by D.C.'s jazz scene. Of course, when we think of the blues and Reston, the only thing that comes to mind is the DRB, the end.

 This post was originally published in the Reston Letter.

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