News and notes from Reston (tm).

Thursday, April 5, 2018

BREAKING: Late Stage Capitalism Manifests Itself In North Reston Retail Node

Please to be enjoying this totally normal cellular telephone photo of suburban wage slaves voluntarily spending a bitterly windy night in Reston's North Point Village Center in heady anticipation not of spiritual enlightenment or a shared cultural experience, but free chicken sandwiches. Not since the heady days of Targetville have we seen so many campsites conveniently located next to a retail node.

Savvy critics of late-stage capitalism will draw much meaning from the symbolic occupation of the "drive-thru," calling it an unconscious manifestation of our collective fears of a post Peak Oil landscape in which our car-centric suburban way of life will be replaced by something far simpler, perhaps even antediluvian. In reality, though, the positioning of the tents has more to do with FREE CHICKEN SAMMICHES ZOMG.

And for the second time in a month, FAKE NEWS has reared its ugly head when it comes to Restonians' spontaneous demonstrations. Consider this photo purporting to be the North Point Shopping Center:

We don't know what godforsaken suburban retail node this photo was taken in, but the overhead power lines are a dead giveaway. Capitalism certainly has its benefits (FREE CHICKEN SAMMICHES), but at least the communists knew how to airbrush out inconvenient details in their photos, the end.


  1. The revolution may not be televised, but it'll have plenty of waffle fries

  2. As the Patch writer who chose the photo for that piece, I can tell you that it was never intended to represent North Point Village Center. I simply wanted a photo to show readers what a First 100 event looks like.

  3. Capital, it fails us now...

    (Dr. Mrs. gives that purported place a hearty middle finger for offering delicious waffle fries at the price of eternal damnation of one's soul.)

    ... Come out, let us seize the time

  4. Workers of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your unlimited soda fountain refills.

  5. For a Chick Fil A this one is kind of a meh...
    Should have built a second story with a view/dining terrace outside to make it cool.
    The one in Purcellville that opened recently is just striking due to its size and open dining area with floor to ceiling windows.

  6. Pour out a Frosted Sunrise™ for the former Burger King.


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