News and notes from Reston (tm).

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Aliens Among Us: Floating Objects In Lake Audobon May Or May Not Be Hell-Spawned Mutants, Are Definitely Disgusting

Slime creature 1
Confidential Restonian Operative "Constance" posted to the Facebooks these horrifying pictures of various organic objects that fell into Lake Audobon, presumably from outer space. "Animal, vegetable, or mineral?" she asks, to which we respond: Yes. Now please INCINERATE IT.

Slime creature 2
It's been suggested these are variants on this creepy critter. Be that as it may, much as with the mystery object recently discovered on the brick-lined shores of Lake Anne, it's only a matter of time until these things develop sentience, master the use of tools, and finally, create a series of detailed and overreaching covenants, color palettes, and design guidelines to serve in proxy of a social compact. Then, my friends, we're up a creek a manmade lake without a paddle.

No comments:

Post a Comment

(If you don't see comments for some reason, click here).