News and notes from Reston (tm).

Friday, September 20, 2013

Consume (and Dance), Sheeple! New iPhone Draws Lines, While Bacchanalia Held to Celebrate Arrival of Other Plastic Consumer Items (Updated)

Apple Store.jpg

With fall comes the changing of the leaves, crisp cool mornings, and people waiting in line in front of a retail establishment in a ersatz simulacrum of a downtown gritty urban core, holding out futile hope that the latest incrementally improved mass consumer good, now available in a multitude of colors to provide the illusion of "personal choice" and an affirmation of the "self," as semioticians would strategically add finger quote marks as they say the word, will bring meaning to their lives an additional megapixel or two to their selfies and artisanally filtered photos of their midscale chain meals in said simulacrum.

Sometimes it gets to be too much. Isn't there a place where we can toss our cares to the wind, forget about our hypercompetitive materialistic culture, and just go dancing? Luckily for us, the answer was just across the street from the Reston Town Center, at least for one night only:

Dancing at COntainer Store.jpeg

Wait, what's that in the background?

Shelving Sale.jpeg

There are no words.

Update: Confidential Restonian Operative "Biker Sherlock" shares the following shocking photos from the Container Store grand opening:

Did you realize that we Restonians not only line up for iThings but Containers as well?

Note the two drive by shots from this morning. Drive by shots since there is no way Biker can be caught dead walking around this display of bourgeois pageantry.

Also note the overjoyed expression on Ms. Container's face. Perhaps she is already mourning the soon to be departing Macaroni grill…
Reston consumers, after more than half of a year of darkness, we have our new temple, complete with high priestess, the end.


  1. The promised champagne turned out to be prosecco.

  2. Thank goodness for the Restonian -- I now know what a sheeple is. Many thanks!

  3. Eh...I bought a new Android phone last week. Don't think I missed anything all that exciting at the Steve Jobs Memorial store. On the other hand I purchased a whole bunch of stuff I never knew I needed for my home office at the Container Store.

  4. Comedian at Wolf Trap said, "You see somebody with a flip-phone ya figger' he's homeless. Here buddy, get yerself a sandwich." I blush to admit, c'est moi. My flip-phone only makes phone calls. Not even a camera. Cost about $9/month.

  5. I wonder whether they make any inflatables? The Convictress has been looking a little haggard lately. It may be time to give her a little rest.


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