News and notes from Reston (tm).

Monday, October 29, 2012

Frankenstormpocalypse Now: Sandy Bears Down on Reston (and the Rest of Virginia, and 12 Other States)

V. v., exciting news! Reston was cited as an example of the wisdom of burying utility lines in a respected national forum discussing the policy implications of severe weather. Okay, it was just a series of comments on a New York Times "news paper" article, but not once did anyone mention a local politician in the least vaguely tangible contexts or suggest that dissenters engorge themselves in all-you-can-eat breadsticks at a local chain eatery, so we were impressed by the level of discourse.

(earlier "coverage" follows)

Okay, here's our CONTINUING STORM TEAM COVERAGE (or at least a link to our Twitter feed, which we might be able to update from our ca. 1996 Motorola flip phone until its battery cuts ou



(Scroll down the Twitter feed for older storm-related posts.)


Here we go again! So far, it's just moderate rain and some light wind at Restonian World Headquarters, so we're not sure what the big deal is. What's that, Confidential Twitter Operatives "John" and "Dan"?

Panic1.jpg

Panic2.jpg

PANIC. To comfort ourselves, we're just going to watch this YouTubes video over and over until the power goes out and crashing tree limbs sever our Internet connection to the outside world. STORM TEAM COVERAGE updates later, assuming we still have power and our neighbors don't resort to cannibalism when they realize their electric can opener doesn't work. Apocalicious!


9 comments:

  1. We were playing that song last night!
    No work today! Yahoo!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sandy is proving to be a particularly violent storm. The public online cam at Trader Joe's revealed a posse of Lexus driving gang bangers fighting each other over the last jar of Organic Creamy Valencia Peanut Butter, which is really sad since that product is on the Trader Joe's Nut Butter recall list.

    http://www.traderjoes.com/about/customer-updates-responses.asp?i=86

    Since I live near Operation Rescue Reston's Aborted Golf Course, I can personally report that 5 extreme weather vampire skeleton golfers excerising their day off from the IRS have been impaled by hurricane wind blown free range flying eco-friendly Operation Rescue Reston's Aborted Golf Course signs that were driven by the tens of thousands around the golf course. Apparently, the 1% management at Operation Rescue Reston opted for high grade silver sign posts. Silver and IRS vampire skeleton extreme weather golfers don't mix that well, so there were no survivors.

    Also, I understand the RA is in panic mode because nearly 99% of the homes in Reston have been plastered during the past few hours with wet fall color scheme leaves, which means that nearly every home in Reston is currently in a non-compliant state with DRB design standards. A flottila of DRB inspectors in south Reston were lost in the storm surge while attempting to ferry across Lake Thoreau to the South Lakes High School neighborhood for the 1st round of inspections in the south Reston area.

    God protect us all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonOctober 30, 2012 at 6:44 AM

      You really had me laughing with that last paragraph, Mean Daddy!

      Delete
    2. Tediously unfunny as ever.

      You should get your own blog and call it, "Restonian That Sucks - Ponderous Efforts at Humor from Reston".

      Delete
  3. The Whole Foods store still had a freezer full of bagged ice as of this morning. Filtered, spring-water cubes of course, the only kind Restonians will accept.

    Crikies! You would think that no one in this area had ever been thru a storm before! No one knows how to behave themselves, especially the unhelpful local weather boys and gurls, who repeat nonsensical advice over and over in order to panic their viewers. Hell boy, today I went to my gym, had lunch with a friend and went to the movies in the afternoon, even got a little work done from home--in other words,I enjoyed my extra day off! Too bad others around here can't learn to do the same.

    ReplyDelete
  4. But FCPD was Johnny on the spot with storm preparedness. There was a black unmarked cruiser running radar speed trap on Personal Injury Lawyers Road about 5:30 PM yesterday.

    I wish I was making this up.

    ReplyDelete
  5. [You should get your own blog and call it, "Restonian That Sucks - Ponderous Efforts at Humor from Reston".]

    Actually, anonymous, since this IS Reston, the land of the insecure and inadequate, I'd call it the "Greater Restonian That Sucks - Ponerous Efforts at Humor from Greater Reston", which would be totally in keeping with Reston's long practice of compensating for its insecurities and inadequacies by decribing everything as 'Greater' this or 'Greater' that - for example, the Greater Reston Chamber of Commerce, or the Greater Reston Arts Center. What the hell is a 'Greater Reston'??? Anonymous, I take it you serve on both the boards of GRACE and GRCC. Power to the people of Greater Reston.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well we dodged the bullet again! But thanks to our panicked friends on the local weather reports, everyone in Reston is now well-stocked with white bread, toilet paper, bottled water and too many bags of cold-filtered, spring water ice.

    ReplyDelete
  7. At Trader Joes's, the wine was gone before the water.

    ReplyDelete

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