News and notes from Reston (tm).

Thursday, August 9, 2012

The Personal Injury Lawyers Road Oakey-Pokey

sad tree.jpg
As VDOT prepares to remove nearly 60 trees in Great Falls following the July death of a driver there, our favorite correspondent, The Peasant From Less Sought After South Reston, shares a photo from his own harrowing experience a bit closer to home.
The Peasant From Less Sought After South Reston has commented more than once about being in the right place at the right time to breathlessly capture some breaking news for this “web-log”, but his latest on-the-spot reporting is more a matter of, fortunately, not being in the wrong place at the wrong time. On July 31, The Peasant was steering his turbo-charged 328i limited edition oxcart east on Personal Injury Lawyers Road near Myrtle when two large oaks on an embankment came crashing down across the road not 10 seconds after The Peasant had passed that very spot. Forensics indicated that it was an apparent murder-suicide, as one oak gave up the ghost and took the second with it, apparently after discovering the heated affair its partner had been having with that neighboring strumpet of a maple. (“Ooh, Oakey, every time you show me your nuts my sweet sap just gets running.”)

Other than this double “oak-icide” , there were fortunately no casualties (snark aside, as was not the case with that unfortunate soul killed recently on Georgetown Pike when a massive oak toppled). The Peasant was highly impressed that the first VDOT crew arrived on the scene within 10 minutes, and within 45 minutes all was back to normal for the usual hordes of kamikaze commuters and spandexed cyclists. We took away from this incident both a new appreciation of why Personal Injury Lawyers Road is such an apt name, as well as new lyrics for a classic popular song.

The Oakey Pokey

You put your right branch in
You put your right branch out
You put your right branch in
And you shake it all about
You do the oakey pokey
And you topple to the ground
That’s what it’s all about!
This, among other things, is why the Peasant is the official Restonian Poet Laureate.


  1. The Trees by Rush

    There is unrest in the forest,
    There is trouble with the trees,
    For the maples want more sunlight
    And the oaks ignore their pleas.

    The trouble with the maples,
    (And they're quite convinced the're right)
    They say the oaks are just too lofty
    And they grab up all the light.
    But the oaks can't help their feelings
    If they like the way they're made.
    And they wonder why the maples
    Can't be happy in their shade.

    There is trouble in the Forest,
    And the Creatures all have fled,
    As the Maples scream oppression,
    And the Oaks just shake their heads.

    So the maples formed a union
    And demanded equal rights.
    "These oaks are just too greedy;
    We will make them give us light."
    Now there's no more oak oppression,
    For they passed a noble law,
    And the trees are all kept equal
    By hatchet, axe, and saw.

  2. Rose By Any Other NameAugust 10, 2012 at 12:06 AM

    (Sigh)I think I would enjoy living once more in a place where the utilty companies don't take a hatchet to the trees alongside the road. Or maybe someplace that isn't such a temptation for developers' speculative fantasies. I use to live in such a place once, in a small midwest town, a true flyover place, that no one considered important. Maybe it's time to go back there? This (Reston/Nova)just isn't cutting it anymore. `

  3. Are we sure that the trees weren't taken down during a DRB drone strike?