News and notes from Reston (tm).

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Can You Hear Me Now? Cell Phone Tower Proposed for Lake Newport Apparently Dead, But As Many As 30 Other Sites a Possibility

CellTower_Camo_closeup.jpgHey, remember that time a company wanted to put up a tree carefully disguised as a cellphone tower at the Lake Newport pool complex? Yeah, that was awesome.

Anyhoo, we've heard that the proposal was dropped after the DRB essentially said it would not approve a tower at that location. What, were the fake leaves on the fake tree Hunter Green instead of Emerald Green? We may never know, but we're pretty sure this won't be the last time a company tries to plant (get it?) a fake tree/tower in Reston, as all the kool kidz want better reception for their mad tweets and whatnot on their fancy 4G phones, so the immortal words "zomg Jacksonz is teh lamerz tonite" can travel from Reston Town Center to Hunters Woods at the speed of light. Rad!

In fact, there's a Reston company that specializes in just this kind of fun -- Milestone Communications, which focuses on erecting towers at schools and in parks. They currently have what they call "stealth towers," which must be used to transmit signals to shoe phones, at a number of Fairfax County schools, including several at South Lakes. The company's president, Len Forkas, made a presentation to the Reston Association Board in December, identifying more than 30 possible sites in Reston for towers, which could earn the RA as much as $500,000 a year in revenue-sharing deals. The board suggested he make a similar presentation to the aforementioned DRB, which will likely pore over color swatches to see if the fake trunks are sufficiently "teal" or "russet-y," the end.


  1. Why would RA want to earn $15M/year for 30 towers when they can tap each of us for nearly a grand every year?

    In fact, $15M exceeds RA's budget--even after its costly, but oh so wunderbar, new HQ lease. Can you imagine NOT paying to live in Reston???

    Come on DRB, get with the program!

  2. Don't think it's $15 million a year, but $500,000 if companies were allowed to build all 30 sites on RA property. Which it's unlikely the DRB would approve, unless they start sticking towers on top of other towers and maybe even the statue of Bob Simon.

  3. What! Did our assessment go up?! I thought mine was 540ish?!

  4. I think anonymous 3:19 is off on a bunch of numbers... $15 million instead of $500,000... $1,000 instead of $540 for household assessments.

    Numbers are stupid.

  5. I wouldn't mind if they planted all 30 right in the middle of Winterthur. If we can't get rid of the cockroach gangbangers by destroying their gangs, maybe we can drive them out with electromagnetic radiation or, at least, render them impotent.

  6. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonFebruary 2, 2011 at 4:41 PM

    I sense a great business opportunity selling homemade aluminum foil hats to those Restonites worried about electromagnetic emissions...I'll even donate one to protect metallic Bob Simon.

  7. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but thank God for the DRB. If they have any common sense, they'll make sure these get put in sensible places. Not to be totally NIMBYish -- I know we need more of these towers if I want to get my Angry Birds on -- but I really don't want one of these in a "common area" 15 feet from my house, no matter how awesomely tree-like it might appear to be.

  8. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonFebruary 2, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    On a serious note...were the RA to receive that $500,000, what would they do with it? My own thinking is that they should refund 1/3 of it to residents in the way of one year's annual assessment that is actually slightly lower than the one before it, and put another 1/3 aside for a capital improvement/replacement fund to finance the refurbishing all RA common facilities are eventually going to need. I don't know what to do with the remaining 1/3. Ideas, anyone?

  9. anon 4:54 Classic NIMBY

    It doesn't get any more hypocritically classic than that.


    With any luck, you cell service will terminate immediately and never return.

    No society can long survive with this kind of narcissism.

  10. How 'bout they stick their fake trees in Snakeden and The Glade to replace the 70-year old oaks they clear-cut? That'd make the tranformation from woodland stream to urban drainage ditch complete.

  11. scubadiver

    That's a great idea!!! Maybe then we'd get some owls, osprey and eagles building their eyries and fledging some chicks.

    Oh, wait a minute. Those wrascally cellphone companies like to build these towers at the high points in an area so that they actually provide coverage for wide areas and not narrow stream valleys.


    Never mind.

  12. The RA and the DRB -- FUBAR!

    Missing an opportunity to help make Reston better and earn %500,000 -- A YEAR!

    Gotta love the idiods who are on that RA board -- and that wanna-be $200,000 a year "CEO" whom they follow like lemmings to the sea.

    Hell, if the doofus Milty Matthews had half a brain, he would push like mad to get the towers so he could give himself an even bigger raise!!

  13. If you're going to call someone an idiot, at least make sure you spell "idiot" right.

    Also, it's $, not %.

    Why can't we get any smart trolls?

  14. The troll is on to something---don't mistake typos for substance.

    Idiots or not, I certainly call on the RA Board to take "%500,000" or, better yet, $500,000!

  15. The "idiod" troll would be more persuasive if he didn't act like such an a$$.


  16. I think the troll is of the female gender. No hard proof; just saying.

  17. I think that the troll = Robin Smyers

  18. No she actually liked Lake Anne.

    I think the troll is actually just that: a fiendish troll that lurks in dark and spooky places.


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