News and notes from Reston (tm).

Monday, November 22, 2010

Behold the Eighth Wonder of Reston: A Shiny Hunk of Metal


This fancy shiny metal bollardy traffic light thing was recently erected at the intersection of Fairfax County Parkway and Sunrise Valley Drive, and... um... wow. For the first time, we're going to say these words unironically: Where's the DRB when you need it?

Fear not, though. Restonian Secret Operative "Joel" has, as they say in the movies, a plan. Here's his suggestion for a way to turn this shiny metal eyesore into shiny metal lemonade:
With a little more effort, VDOT could have added some tracks on top to provide the first leg of Reston's personal rapid transit system to help us travel from our homes to the Metro stations. Here is my concept:


It's so crazy, it just might work.


  1. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonNovember 22, 2010 at 9:32 AM

    Joel's idea isn't bad, but we could also consider making it an elevated waterway (like those log flume rides in amusement parks) as the first step in using stimulus funds to construct the Intra-Reston Waterway linking the four Great Lakes of our earth-toned paradise.

  2. I hear we'll be able it will be the only approved place to dry our laundry in an eco-friendly manner. Our "Obama/Biden" t-shirts will be air dried thanks to FF County Parkway speeding cars.

  3. That's the gallows scaffolding from which the Repubs will be hanging traitorous Socialist Dems responsible for electing that Muslim Messiah, Obummer, as a warning to our muave colored enclave.

  4. Originally, I thought it was the support structure for a forthcoming pedestrian bridge over the "Highway to/from Hell", but I guess that was wishful thinking. How stupid of me.

  5. I can't wait to see the little trucks painting that piece of modern architecture. How many gallons of Russet Brown will they need?

    Where's the DRB when you most need it? Nowhere to be found!

  6. Madness!!! What the hell is that?!

  7. All that to hold up a few traffic signal heads?

    I hope pedestrian crossing signals were installed to help pedestrians cross the Fairfax County Pkwy. Anyone notice if they were installed?

  8. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonNovember 22, 2010 at 5:56 PM

    Restonian's headline leads me to ask: so what exactly are the original seven wonders of Reston?

  9. And how many tens of thousands of bucks for that hideous eyesore?

    This is progress?

  10. I heard it was Smyers' last laugh --- first she stuffed us with milty's $200,000 a year salary, then the hidden HQ from hell, then the Simon-says rec center (STILL it lives!) and now busy-body beemer wants to raise the RA assessment to the max of nearly $500!

    And for this "assessment" we get this piece of trash?

    Jesus save me!

  11. Anon 7:17, you are saved!


  12. Hickory Cluster Knuckle DusterNovember 22, 2010 at 8:54 PM

    Peasant your comment is blatant plagiarism of Koozman's canal system.

    For shame Peasant, for shame...

  13. Oh Jesus, my sweet lord
    Save me from the Section 8 leashes
    Protect me from Hudgings' I-don't-listen-to-my-constituent demons
    Spare me from the fires of the RA-assessment hells
    And lead me not to fall into moving outside of Reston!


  14. You must be one miserable mug, 8:59, what with living in a tax-and-spend blue-leaning muave community. Your neighbors must really offend your Libertarian sensibilities.

  15. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonNovember 22, 2010 at 11:12 PM


    OF COURSE my comment was inspired by Rod's idea for the canal system. I was paying tribute to it!

  16. Get a $5 bonus card (like a gift card but expires 2/28/11) for every $25 gift certificate purchased in-store at Macaroni Grill.

    Link on home page

    Hurry --- they are going fast!!


  17. You northerners get your Astonaut schools, we get our metal girdered defense system. You'll see who got the better deal when our ugly "traffic lights" transform into an ugly destructive metal giant that delivers DRB violations by the boat load.

  18. You mean that this isn't the new pic for Sunset Hills and Wiehle Avenue? Whew!!

  19. High roller from Oak HillNovember 24, 2010 at 4:13 PM

    Traffic signal structure courtesy of VDOT's newly formed Engineer Internship Program for Middle Schoolers. Designer Kylie Ross from Rachel Carson Middle School described his first full-scale project as "inspired by his school gym ceiling."


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