News and notes from Reston (tm).

Monday, October 18, 2010

On The YouTubes: Proud To Be A Restonian, Where At Least I Know The Patriotic Songs Are Free

You usually have to go to flyover country the noble Heartland for insightful political commentary, but this lovely "You Tubes" MTV music video thingy was actually the brainchild of a Reston resident, presumably composed after receiving a particularly threatening missive from the DRB or something.
Conservative songwriter John Schwarzman operates a small marketing and advertising business with a partner in the Washington, D.C. area. The beating his company has taken in the last two years has had Schwarzman "very concerned about the future" and even more concerned about the direction the country is headed under its current leadership.

Schwarzman, a Reston, Va. resident, decided to write a song about it. His new single, "I'm an American," has become somewhat of an underground hit among political conservatives since its release in late August and its debut on YouTube three weeks ago. Although it speaks in-depth to the worries Schwarzman describes, he said he was careful to keep pointed political attacks out of it.

"It would have been easy to take cheap shots at particular people -- like Obama, Reid or Pelosi," Schwarzman said. "But I stayed away from that on purpose because this song represents a bigger message."

That message, Schwarzman said, is meant for America's political leaders and is being sent on behalf of the American people.

"America is a magnificent country, but it is under assault. I have two young grandchildren and want them to have the same opportunities that I have enjoyed," he said. "They won't if they are crushed under a mountain of debt and suffer a loss of the very liberties that have made such opportunities even possible."

Before long, Schwarzman found himself looking for some local musicians to help him record the song.

The song, "I'm an American," features Todd Googins as lead vocalist, the Knight Brothers as backup vocalists, Dan Leonard on guitar, Scott Ambush on bass and Mike Aubin on drums.
We'll give Schwarzman credit for taking the high ground, as opposed to many recent efforts. Throw in a bonus verse about the tyranny of paint swatches and light fixtures, and we think we have a rousing grand finale for Reston: The Opera.

Update: Reston's answer to Francis Scott Key penned a fitting final verse in the comments. We defy you to resist singing it out loud.


  1. Move over, Andy's dulcet tones!

  2. cause I'm a Restonian,
    I'm concerned about these metro stops,
    we need to preserve our Town Center,
    and its hard workin' mall cops

    oh I'm a Restonian,
    I cc my boss on important e-mails,
    and head to Jackson's after work,
    where I don't see any females

    yes I'm a Restonian,
    used to hit the clubs in DC,
    now the most excitement I ever see,
    is birthday parties at Chuck E Cheese

    yeah I'm a Restonian,
    won't see me eating at Lake Anne,
    don't wanna go somewhere,
    where they might scratch my minivan

    so come on down and have some fun
    in this place called Reston
    where the "downtown"
    will remind you of the Magic Kingdom

    oh I'm a Restonian!

  3. I like the hard-hat wearing guy who has to pay $100 dollars in takes. Man he should be pissed!

    Perhaps his job is funded by the Stimulus package which saved millions of jobs.

    Also great are the shots of WPA work crews and FDR's other great success WWII.

    Bah the teabaggers are all mental cases who are hypocrites.

    Bottom line: they want their country back... from the black president.

  4. From the Uplands of RestonOctober 18, 2010 at 8:35 PM

    Hey HCKD,

    You're behind on getting your memos from Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC).

    "Bah the teabaggers are all mental cases who are hypocrites."

    The new line is that they are mindless thralls of the evil, foreign-funded Chamber of Commerce.

    "Bottom line: they want their country back... from the black president."

    Yes, Yes, release your hate. Give in to the Dark Side. Good, good. Remember, any attempt to vote against a Democrat, or failure to totally agree with our Democratic platform is hypocrisy and will be punished.

    Please remember to forget what political party Martin Luther King was a member of, and why.
    They will be compelled to like our Democratic congressional actions, especially since we took over the House in 2006.

    Most importantly, tell us you didn't go to either Tea-party event in Reston. Meeting them could cause doubt on our party line, and we can't have that, now can we?

  5. You mean, they're not all as loony nor as hot as Sarah Palin?

    She may be a MILF (even after squeezing out five pups), but I wouldn't want her as President. I just can't see her staying the course of the Presidency considering as how she did such a marvelous job of cutting and running during her Governorship. Just sayin'....

    Besides, what does MLK have to do with anything? Has he come back from the dead and is now running as The Black Candidate for the Palinstas? Heck, do you even think that MLK would even be proud to be associated with the Palinistas? For some reason, I just can't see that.

  6. "Half the people in the world today wanna leave the bills for our kids to pay" -- yeah, the Republicans. We can borrow to pay for all kinds of wars, no problem. Clinton left office with a surplus.

    "They take half of what I earned away"? Hey, construction worker, you must be making a heck of a lot of money -- in some other country. Here in the US, the top tax rate is 35%, and that applies to people making over $373k.

    "My daddy was Uncle Sam"? I don't even know where to start with that.

  7. Not quite right, there, Anon. The Federal top-tier might be only 35%, but that's going to change to 39%(?) if the Bush tax cuts are allowed to expire. Then you have to add on your State income taxes. Of course, for most people, every dollar earned is a dollar spent as well, so you have to figure in sales taxes as well. On top of that, if you own personal property, like a car or a house, you have substantial taxes on those as well.

    I would not find it too hard to believe that they upper crust (or even the middle crust) is paying close to half their salaries in taxes. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I happen to believe that government delivers some services better than the private sector ever could and I don't mind paying for those services in the form of taxes.

  8. Convict, no average American pays anywhere near the top tier. No average American pays anywhere near half of their income in taxes. It's just hyperbole meant to rile people up. I question whether even the top tier pays anywhere near half their income in taxes.

    But I agree, let government do what the private sector can't.

  9. couple questions:

    why don't we see the lead guitarist's head during his solo? is that Harry Reid?

    at 0:12, that looks like what would happen if Reston Town Center was picked up and glued to downtown Seattle

    I take it the singer will be giving his Social Security and Medicare checks back to the government, because my liberty to do what I want with my money is being hindered by the government taking care of people who talk all day long about limiting government

    how can someone who lives 5 miles from the Beltway in a planned community filled with plastic shopping centers complain about Washington being out of touch?

    in terms of patriotic country songs that come out when we have incompetent Democrat presidents, still prefer Charlie Daniels "In America"

  10. so Schwartzman wrote the lyrics, but isn't singing, it's some other guy - little strange and confusing for the songwriter to be credited like that - haven't seen that the lyricist trump the actual singer like this since mid-80s adult contemporary sensation Sergio Mendes

  11. Are you saying, 7:19, that Schwarzman is doing a solo Milli Vanilli sans silly dance routine?

  12. no, it's not a Milli Vanilli sort of thing, more of a Sergio Mendes thing, not lipsynching, just not giving the singer credit like most people do

    the guy singing is named Todd Goggins, John Schwartzman is some other guy who seems to want his name all over this song, which is very creepy, I mean, you don't see whoever wrote "Party in the USA" putting his/her/its name all over the thing, Miley Cyrus wouldn't take that sort of thing now


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