News and notes from Reston (tm).

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Something New To Worry About: Bigfoot Sightings in Reston?

bigfoot.jpgApparently a group of investigators tracking Bigfoot sightings in Virginia didn't take a recent report from Reston too seriously -- or should we say seriously enough?

The small but avid universe of Bigfoot enthusiasts includes self-styled investigators who pursue their quest during off-hours from their day jobs. Willard, for example, hosts an Internet radio show and maintains a Web site from his home in Manassas; he also monitors his Bigfoot hotline for reported sightings (a recent caller announced "I just saw Bigfoot in Reston," before exploding in laughter and hanging up).
We shouldn't take such sightings lightly. After all, if it lived in Reston, we're guessing Sasquatch would take a NIMBY approach, politics-wise, to the recent stream deforestation restoration process. It would consider that kind of redevelopment of its habitat akin to, oh, we don't know, building a lightless canyon near a Metro station or something. All we know, Bigfoot could be biding its time, waiting to strike at the unwary passerby with the force of a thousand DRBs.

Sadly, none of the three "documented sightings" these folks have recorded in Fairfax County were anywhere near Reston. Apparently Sasquatch prefers to throw rocks at people near Occaquan Reservoir than to live, work, and play in our own earth-toned community. Go figure.

18 comments:

  1. Bigfoot wanted to live here, but the DRB disapproved his color choices for habitat.

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  2. Just Another Tea PartierJune 1, 2010 at 9:41 AM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  3. Single, lonely, male Wookie ISO tall, hairy partner for friendship and romance. Must like long walks through the woods, nocturnal activities and occasionally scaring small children. If interested, please submit photo to The National Enquirer.

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  4. Stay classy, Tea Party

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  5. just another tea partier:

    you must make your mother proud..is she out yet?

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  6. Tea Partier --

    You've got to work pretty hard to get a comment deleted from this filthy "web log." Way to go!

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  7. Somebody's eatin well in the neighborhood. On recent treks in the park, I've found a partially eaten carcass of a young deer and the skeletal remains of a large red fox scattered about (rib cage here, spine there, and bones everywhere).

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  8. How bad could the comment be that the Tea Partier posted - at lease leave up some of it...

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  9. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonJune 1, 2010 at 5:21 PM

    Bigfoot in Reston is just more scientific proof of the alternate universe theory -- after all, the Reston in Scotland has had sightings of "The Beast of Berwickshire", which appears to be some sort of mutant guinea pig on steroids.

    Per anon 3:53's comment, I guess I'd think twice before ordering the venison a la bolognese at the Macaroni Grill.

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  10. Isn't there a Bigfoot Lane off of Personal Injury Lawyer's Road? Lot's of wooded acreage over in that direction.

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  11. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonJune 1, 2010 at 9:39 PM

    Birdfoot Lane, Convict, not Bigfoot. Lots of deer over that way who are already raiding my garden. Hmmm, wonder if Bigfoot likes venison?

    If Bigfoot is Canadian, is Sasquatchewan his home province?

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  12. Well, yeah, the Canadian one does, Peasant. The American one, however, is from Cincinnyeti, and the African one lives in the Serengyeti.

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  13. Peasant From Less Sought After South RestonJune 2, 2010 at 9:05 AM

    Pij:

    I heard he's living up by that battlefield in Pennsylvania. If you have it, could you send me his Yetisburg Address, please?

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  14. Abominable! LOL

    His brother is living up in Montana, at the site of another famous battle, Little Bigfoot.

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  15. I found Bigfoot! My husband wears size 14 shoes, and he lives in Reston.

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    Replies
    1. Really! Stop kidding around but he does have big fert

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  16. Sasquatch has been proved not to exist in America but in the Himalayas a brown bear x polar bear has been found to exist in the Himalayas however Sasquatch has only been proved as a bear or other animals that are commonly mistaken as Bigfoot

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